Go Ask Your Dad

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Go Ask Your Dad

Go Ask Your Dad

@_goaskyourdad_

Wife, but not the trophy kind. Mom and designated babysitter to 4. SAHM, ER nurse. Follow me on IG too!

Katılım Kasım 2019
368 Takip Edilen4.5K Takipçiler
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Go Ask Your Dad
Go Ask Your Dad@_goaskyourdad_·
I love how my husband can fart like 59 times in a row, but if I do it once he looks at me like I’m Carole Baskin
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Go Ask Your Dad
Go Ask Your Dad@_goaskyourdad_·
My husband and I play this fun game where I usually have my phone on silent and he has to text one of the kids to go find me so I can call him back
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Go Ask Your Dad
Go Ask Your Dad@_goaskyourdad_·
Rihanna, 9 months postpartum: Performs an entire half time show while looking like a goddess Me, 9 months postpartum: Still wearing maternity clothes and can’t walk up a flight of stairs without feeling winded
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Go Ask Your Dad
Go Ask Your Dad@_goaskyourdad_·
“Dry January” means not going to the gym and sweating this month right?
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Go Ask Your Dad retweetledi
Go Ask Your Dad
Go Ask Your Dad@_goaskyourdad_·
I’d like to take this moment to thank @urbandictionary....because without you, I wouldn’t know what the fuck my teen is talking about
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momwithaboysname
momwithaboysname@momwithaboysna1·
Any time I’m tempted to give someone unsolicited parenting advice, I think about the time I caught my kid eating out of the garbage, and I keep my mouth shut.
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Go Ask Your Dad
Go Ask Your Dad@_goaskyourdad_·
My husband doesn’t always perform a full maintenance check on the car, but when he does, it’s when the whole family is packed and sitting in the car ready to go on a road trip
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Go Ask Your Dad retweetledi
Go Ask Your Dad
Go Ask Your Dad@_goaskyourdad_·
So glad outdoor sports resumed. It’s nice to get a break and watch someone else yell at my kids for once
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redyellowgreendance 💃🏻
Me: “Hey buddy, how was your first day of tae kwon do?” Him, 6: “The Grand Master was soooooo nice! He let us take a break at the water fountain!”
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Go Ask Your Dad retweetledi
sixfootcandy
sixfootcandy@sixfootcandy·
Dating: I’m not wearing any panties, baby. Married: I’m not wearing any panties because you forgot to do the laundry again.
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Terri Fry
Terri Fry@momlikethat1·
I’m watching the second season of @thehomeedit and my husband is already dreading the “edit” I’m about to put our house through 😆
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Karen
Karen@AntsyButterfly·
Every day when my son gets off the bus, I ask him to tell me one good thing and one bad thing that happened at school. And with that, he has so much to say.
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One Awkward Mom
One Awkward Mom@oneawkwardmom·
Both kids fell asleep with their feet against my back and it’s the closest I’ve come to a massage since the one that got me pregnant the first time
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Anna
Anna@AnnaDoesntWant2·
Moms: The kids have been at school for an hour and I’ve gotten nothing done! *What they’ve gotten done: Laundry, dishes, groceries, meal prep, emails, work, tidying up, returning calls, scheduling appointments*
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Satirical Mommy
Satirical Mommy@SatiricalMommy·
I really want my kid to be a master junior chef so he can make dinner for all of us, but not enough to let him practice in the kitchen and deal with the cleanup
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Snarky Mommy
Snarky Mommy@SnarkyMommy78·
Parenting books: validate your kids’ feelings 5: *acting very cranky* Me: looks like you’re very cranky this morning 5: CRANKY ISN’T A REAL WORD *gets crankier*
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Goldfish and Chicken Nuggets
Goldfish and Chicken Nuggets@gfishandnuggets·
Registration for kids’ summer camp opens tomorrow morning and I have it marked in my calendar as “The Hunger Games.” That’s everything you need to know about trying to secure a spot for your kid in any summer camp.
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Rachel Sobel
Rachel Sobel@whinecheezits·
I spent years hatching plans, agonizing over how I was going to leave a successful career in corporate America to pursue my dream of working for myself. Never did I expect that dream to include my child yelling at me from the bathroom to come hold her popsicle so she could pee.
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