billdotd

My wife was formerly promiscuous. I was a virgin. She was then radically born-again. Committed to church, evangelized constantly, Puritan books in her bedroom, prayer journals, grief over past sexual sin, etc. We got to know each other well for over a year, dated for four months, engaged for two and a half, and didn't sin sexually with one another. Our first kiss with each other was at the altar on our wedding day (reaction pic attached!). We've been married for over five years now, and she's been the most wonderful and godly wife, mother to our three children, and homemaker you could imagine. She's more pure than most virgins, as biblical purity has less to with past sins (though they certainly matter) and more to do with one's current posture of the heart and daily decisions to honor the Lord (Matt. 5:8). We're far too quick to forget the story of the woman labeled as a known "sinner" (likely a prostitute) in Luke 7:36-50 who was washing Jesus' feet with her tears while kissing them too. The Pharisees were shocked that Jesus let a public sinner do this. Jesus responded with a parable about debts being forgiven and ended with this powerful conclusion: "Her many sins have been forgiven; that’s why she loved much. But the one who is forgiven little, loves little" (Luke 7:47). Everyone seems to highlight the benefits of virginity, and it certainly is a blessing. But we forget to highlight the benefits of being forgiven much as well. My wife knows the depths of Jesus' forgiveness more than most people, enabling her to more easily live out a life of passionate love for her Savior. A woman or man's past sexual sin matters. But what matters far more when it comes to deciding who to marry is if the person is truly born again, if their repentance is real, if they truly have a heart for Christ, if they truly follow Jesus and obey his commands. "God has chosen what is foolish in the world to shame the wise, and God has chosen what is weak in the world to shame the strong. God has chosen what is insignificant and despised in the world ​— ​what is viewed as nothing ​— ​to bring to nothing what is viewed as something, so that no one may boast in his presence. It is from him that you are in Christ Jesus, who became wisdom from God for us ​— ​our righteousness, sanctification, and redemption, — in order that, as it is written: 'Let the one who boasts, boast in the Lord.'" (1 Cor. 1:27-31) "Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has passed away, and see, the new has come!" (2 Cor. 5:17)

I've changed my mind on how to deal with this ridiculous show of self-righteousness that shows up every 6 months. Pious: A REAL Christian would marry a repentant whore (no condition listed)! Me: you won't apply that same standard to a man. P: yes I do. Me: Joel Webbon. P:

A former adulteress who repented of her sins is a Christian. To deny that she is someone a godly man may faithfully marry is to deny the power of God in the gospel.

I think we are underestimating how sexually degenerate the young men are too. The women aren’t just sleeping with themselves. The young men are whoring around too & those who aren’t are addicted to porn. & very few are leading in purity when dating. We don’t have some epidemic of chaste holy men & whore women. Both sexes are sexually immoral & having a difficult time finding godly partners to pursue. I have seen & personally know countless situations where a virgin woman married a man with sexual history—in fact, this is much more common in my experience. Pretending like we have a generation of chaste holy young men while the women are all whores is just lying to ourselves about the real state of society. The men are in a terrible spot too & in desperate need of Christ.