Granny Beaver

A guy down the street was bragging about a kill shot on FB, so I said do me next. His response belongs in a scrapbook (if I did that sort of thing).

Nictating membranes are probably cool to have, but they always look creepy as hell.

@chadwaytweety @geosiphon To this day, I don't want to forage for anything that someone else hasn't shown me where/how/when/why to get them first. I also appreciate an honest "yes, it's edible, but it tastes like crap, so..."

@billydbeaver @geosiphon I’m cautious even with multiple good field guides in my pack. The amount of people out here eating shit they can’t ID is wild

This facebook group in particular is crazy

@chadwaytweety @geosiphon Or with the Ferryman!

@geosiphon They do look like var. Guessowii. I usually start to get destroying angels in June if they really want to take a ride (in an ambulance)

I called an especially hefty banana "girthy", and was chided for being dirty-minded. Is there a polite description for a thick banana that doesn't sound like a double entendre? Who could I ask?

@RobertSan1312 If I had the talent, I would cross stitch that entire image on a throw pillow for your fainting couch. 💚

@RobertSan1312 I mostly got it for a photo prop for my chicken. She's a poser.

@billydbeaver Most of the vape shops sell accessories and parts for those.

I don't know if the Matrix is glitching or if there's a break in the Space/Time continuum, but something strange happened today that would never have happened in the Before-times in my tiny red town: I got a hookah for a buck at a garage sale.

@JDuncMileHigh @KyleClark You didn't see anything, Jeremy, and you're getting sleepy, very sleepy...

@KyleClark Haven’t seen otters but definitely have beavers in the Lakewood gulch creek between Perry & Sheridan along the light rails track

Colorado wants people to report river otter sightings to track the population. One problem: People don't know what river otters look like. Hope this helps👇

@SJKennett This falls under "it takes a village". Hooray for them for including her ❤️

Michael Parks was my mom's crush, and Lorne Greene was my grandma's. The fact that they were the lone non-gospel "VINYLS" in the crate made me take them home to listen to on Mother's Day. I could practically hear my mom saying, "DooOooOoo it!" in her ghostly voice.👻❤️

Found these two albums in a thrift store. I asked the possibly 114-year-old lady how much they were, and she gave me a blank look. "You know, records? Record albums?" "Oh, we call those 'vinyls' now". 😑

@TNsmartass "Scrote throat" is the medical term, I'm pretty sure.

Empty ball sack

@badappl8 @FBIDirectorKash @FBINewark Dude is bragging about finding a nickel in the casino parking lot.

@FBIDirectorKash @FBINewark Holy shit!!! 4!!! Damn...... that's SO MANY. Nice work podcaster. Hey, have you heard about the Epstein files?

Today out of @FBINewark: Four individuals have been charged with illegally voting in federal elections and making false statements applying for U.S. citizenship. The individuals - all noncitizens - voted in elections including the 2020 Presidential election, 2022 midterms, and 2024 Presidential election cycles. More to come. Thank you to our investigators and partners for their great work in the case. @DAGToddBlanche

@micaela2481 @TheTNHoller @ScottJenningsKY @adammocklerr @abbydphillip @CNN Lol, just wanted you to know that my brain first translated that as "snack" and I was confused for a second.

@TheTNHoller @ScottJenningsKY @adammocklerr @abbydphillip @CNN His hand wasn't anywhere near Scot's face. On the other hand, I was banned from Twitter for a week after saying I want to s*ack Scott's face whenever I saw it.

WATCH: Minutes before a triggered @ScottJenningsKY told @adammocklerr to “get your fucking hand out of my face!” he made another ugly comment about Mockler being up past his bedtime👇🏽 Panelists get paid to behave like this and come back night after night? 🤔@abbydphillip @CNN

Without a doubt, our best trail camera capture yet: the first documented observation of a cougar with kittens in Minnesota in modern history. Turn up the volume to hear all the vocalizations. The footage, which was captured on March 25, shows a cougar with 3 large kittens while they feed on a deer they killed just south of Voyageurs National Park. We captured this surreal footage because we started a study to understand the survival and mortality patterns of deer in our area this winter. As part of that work, we GPS-collared several deer in the area in January.  In late March, we received a mortality signal from a GPS-collared deer and found the carcass buried under a pile of leaves on a hillside—a tell tale sign of feline predation.  We suspected it was likely a bobcat but thought, just possibly, it could be a cougar. So we put up two trail cameras on the cached deer carcass and 4 hours later, two cougar kittens returned to the kill. The entire family showed up that evening and spent hours in front of our cameras. In total, we captured 7.3 hr (435 minutes) of video footage of these animals. We will share more footage soon! Huge thanks to the Minnesota Environment and Natural Resources Trust Fund for supporting the Voyageurs Wolf Project and the recent effort to understand deer survival in the area. Their support was critical to this observation—without it, we would never have captured this footage. And huge thanks to the >10,600 donors who have supported our project and enabled us to purchase trail cameras supplies. The cameras (and batteries, SD cards, mounts) we set at this kill were purchased with funds from donations.

@badappl8 @WhiteHouse Think of the ratings, Donald! Your trial will get numbers like no one has ever seen before. Hottest trial sensation of all time!

@WhiteHouse Right after the pedophile in our White House goes on trial? Maybe fire all the unqualified grifters you installed to carry out your fascist attacks on Americans. #JimmyKimmel

When is ABC Fake News Network firing seriously unfunny Jimmy Kimmel???

@GaryWebel @MarindaVannoy1

@MarindaVannoy1 Who sent out the "Melania is great" talking points memo to y'all?

Say what you want, but Melania Trump is the classiest, most elegant First Lady of our time.

That's how Ramsay Bolton's dog looked at him at the end, too. Her inquisitive puppy head tilt just doesn't play as cute as it was when she was just a baby grifter.

@chadwaytweety I can't prove it was out of spite, but he left the other trees along the ditch. Yes, technically we were trespassing, but I don't think that's as bad as cutting down a fruiting tree. That seems sinful.

@chadwaytweety There was a mulberry tree along the open lot next door. Just poked up in amongst the scrub in the ditchline, all by itself. I took the kids in my care over and we cleared out the weeds and vines around it for easier picking. And the owner cut down the tree. 😡

BREAKING: The mulberries are blushing! Carry on