Steve Finesse

This photo of Phil Collins looks like its from a local paper, where he's complained to council about people leaving bin-bags in a stairwell

Paper towel commercials are so fake; it's always a kid spilling juice, never like a cat throwing up.

I think Travolta’s new look is preposterous but as a fellow bald man I will die to defend his right to experiment with hats. It’s all we have.

I am assembling a team

Trump at rally: And frodo baggins is here, we know frodo baggins, we love frodo, we know the vest, very strong vest, we love MITHRIL. does he want to come up? get him up here. he's invisible, he turned invisible, that's okay

Running to London because it’s £235 for a peak train ticket

my food in the microwave

he’s obviously drinking again

Looking for food recommendations. Ideally a streetfood outlet selling from a shipping container, caravan, or scruffy industrial estate window hatch from two guys who had a crazy idea.

Man Stroker’s Ejacula

he’s sat through 30 minutes of adverts at the cinema …now dim the lights…and play another advert.

Admit it. You assumed that Dr. Pepper was a man. You didn’t even consider that Dr. Pepper could be a woman.

“He just showered. Make him take a dump.”

He’s in the final interview. Now reveal there’s an internal candidate.

Wes Streeting replacing Keir Starmer

Fleetwood Mac

Championship playoffs are crazy these days because it is just 22 players competing to not play for their club next season

'North London Forever'

None of the ex Tory crap I want my reform councillors to be proper headcases

JACOB COLLIER: and violins, could I get a pizzicato d, then up to g, yeah that's nice. flutes keep those quavers going. And piano, could I have a trill on your lowest b flat Me: (closing piano lid) no sorry Jacob JC: a trill on the b flat please piano Me: no Jacob I won't do it

You shouldn't be worried that your boyfriend is watching porn you should be worried that he's watching the worst comedians of all time interview tech billionaires