Chris Dawson

@fvckerysprinkle That'll really show that teacher!! (And leave your daughter a little dumber...)

So my daughter had a test and asked her teacher if she was going to grade them over the weekend so she could know her grade on Monday. Her teachers reply “I’m not spending my weekend grading papers.” Okay then.. moving forward my children will not spending their after school hours doing hours of homework. They will not spending their weekend working on projects. They can do that during school time then.

@AntiTrumpCanada It's hard to know. I feel like nobody can be THAT stupid...but then he opens his mouth and I start to doubt myself.

Hey America: is Trump intentionally destroying your country, or is he doing it accidentally because he’s so blindly fucking stupid, incompetent and narcissistic?

@_thisisthegirl_ @mikerice02 understated--and very funny. Nice!

@mikerice02 Have you considered not getting overly worked up about boys' pants

Coaches, can we please put a stop to this? It’s all over the place in HS and I’m starting to see it in college baseball

@iam_smx Yes, how much is it worth now?

One Man, Elon Musk paid $44 billion for Twitter, walked in carrying a sink, and fired 75% of the staff within a week, yet the company kept running He renamed it 𝕏, rewrote its content rules, and reinstated 65,000 banned accounts in 30 days No one had a plan It worked anyway

@FastbreakHoops5 I can't even watch professional basketball anymore. They never call traveling. They never call three seconds. and nobody plays defense.

Is this a travel 🤔

@mattvanswol Any thinking person would start to question their life choices at that point right Matt?

Real talk… What do you do when people you’ve known forever basically cut you off because you’re openly pro-Trump/MAGA now? How do you handle that?

@adamcarolla Funny, he said the same about you

I always knew he was a douche

@Notmyname68167 @Timesofiraan Yeah, only these jihadis are Christian and they're in the Trump administration

@Timesofiraan There are thousands of jihadis in America right now. They are going to strike in the belly of the eagle. I hope you can stop them.

BREAKING 🚨: This is ABSOLUTE CINEMA 🔥 4 PM : 🇺🇸White House: Iranian regime is looking for an exit ramp, they recognize that they are being crushed. 5 PM : 🇮🇷Iranian Parliament: If they make a move, their' vital infrastructure will be under relentless attack....View more

@ArtCandee Oh.My.God. what a douchenozzle

Oh noes. Kid Rock is big mad. 🤣

@ChrisMartzWX ...whined the whiny guy...

TDS is a real mental illness. I will honestly be glad when Trump is out of office just so these stupid, insufferable pieces of crap whining every day finally shut the heII up.

@TAT1SSZN Says the Padres fan....

people aren't ready to hear this but judge and ohtani are almost the exact same player when it comes to clutch situations

@aipriverses 2 things: 1) Yankees fan... 2) drunk Yankees fan

i still genuinely cannot imagine the thought process that goes into deciding to do this

@TimothyDSnyder He is a broken, weak man-baby and the worst President of my lifetime. c-dawson.blogspot.com/2025/01/we-wil…

He took the greatest military force in world history, lost a war to a middle power in a week, begged the world to save him, and demanded that the media lie about this and everything else. I try, but at a simple human level I do not see how anyone can mistake this man’s almost supernatural weakness for strength. His weakness is something negative, gravitational, so deep that it can draw in a whole country. But only if we fail to see it. Only if we let it.

@realdariusdt @HansMahncke That is exactly right!! People who work for the government should never be questioned--no matter what!

@HansMahncke Why do they have to answer to anybody anyways? They were chosen to do work for the country why are they being questioned?

What they did to these DOGE kids, purely to harass them and discourage anyone else from even trying to do real civic work, is completely beyond the pale. Truly sick people. Credit to Nathan Cavanaugh for running circles around that mob.

@JJWatt My move? Tip 20% . I have work restaurant jobs and even with automation and other things they're still not easy. Life is hard enough, why not make it even a tiny bit easier for someone if you can?

Genuine question on a restaurant situation: You walk up to a counter to order. You find your own table and seat yourself. If you order coffee, they hand you a cup and you go fill it up yourself. If you order food, they hand you a buzzer and when it goes off, you go pick it up yourself. The iPad has a “20%, 25%, 30%, Other” tip option, with 20% already preselected. What’s your move?

@GregAbbott_TX I though surely this must be a parody account...but nope. You think the imposition of Sharia Law is an actual possibility in Texas? What a performative bit of crap.

Last night, 95% of Republican primary voters said that Sharia Law should be BANNED in Texas. There is a 100% certainty that Sharia Law will be completely banned in Texas this next session. This comes on the heels of the ban on Sharia Cities that I signed last year.

@iJordanMoore P.R. Is not a country

Nolan Arenado, the former USA player playing for Puerto Rico? I think it’s incredibly lame to switch countries like that. Don’t care why you do it, it’s just very lame. Rep one country.

@SenFettermanPA Because it's not the only action

Every member in the U.S. Senate agrees we cannot allow Iran to acquire a nuclear weapon. I’m baffled why so many are unwilling to support the only action to achieve that. Empty sloganeering vs. commitment to global security — which is it?

@TimothyJones92 None of your business, dude.

There's this chick at my college that has banged close to 100 dudes (me included). She just posted a photo on IG with her new boyfriend. The guy seems so nice and innocent, like posting pictures with his grandma. I'm considering messaging him and letting him know about his chick because I don't think he has any idea and if he did, he probably wouldn't be dating her. Should I message him or just let it be? I'm worried that by trying to be a hero I might actually be a villain. Maybe he knows and just doesn't care

@seanspicer Just a reminder--you made a big splash as a paid liar for Donald Trump.

just a reminder, our good buddies the British refused to allow the US military to operate out of any of their bases