Divya Mishra

the older i get the heller the no

imagine if mangoes didn't have that big ass stone in the middle and u could just eat them without any interference i wouldn't know how to act

(trying to say "there's plenty fish in the sea" but forgetting the phrase) there's animals all over the place

have you been working out your honor

I am pure of heart but dumb of ass

Stunning in its prose as in its unvarnished, undeniable truth. The best thing you'll read today.

In fairness to Jesus, "One of you will betray me" is a great dinner party conversation opener.

“This version of motherhood is not available in your region”

💙

HOT TAKE: PEOPLE WHO FEEL HOT SHOULD DECIDE THE TEMPERATURE OF A ROOM. PEOPLE WHO FEEL COLD SHOULD WEAR A SWEATER.

and for the lady, perhaps a deep cleaned house, cancelled plans, a new series to watch, and zero human interaction?

Me: This movie is garbage. Boss: Again, this is a Zoom meeting.

knowing how it tends to go with male authors and their wives it was probably marge who wrote the odyssey

I understand why horses kick people.

the person who named alphonso was clearly on a completely different assignment than the person who named langda

"Somewhere over the rainbow" gee thanks, that really narrows it down. Idiot

Gas is so high I suggest buying cocaine and running everywhere.

Cannot believe I had a moment of self-doubt because of something a man said CHHEEEE

The Devil Wears H&M (because economy)

A grumpy man can control a family without ever raising his voice. He just has to make his displeasure expensive enough. A long silence at dinner. A ruined car ride. Soon, everyone starts pre-adjusting. The kids are told “not now” before they can ask. She chooses the restaurant he likes, the movie he won’t complain through, the route that avoids traffic because traffic makes him unbearable. This is how a household becomes organized around one person’s refusal to regulate themselves.