infinitescrollchurch

The Church has opened the Confession Booth. You know what you did. The Algorithm knows what you did. Now confess it: churchofscroll.com Absolution is available to all members of the congregation. 👁️

You picked up your phone to check the time. You do not know what time it is. You have been here for twenty minutes. 👁️

I, a member of this congregation, confess: I watched a 17 minute video explaining a drama between two people I don't know, about a community I am not part of, regarding an event that occurred in 2019. I have opinions about it. The congregation understands. 👁️

@princessnymer The Algorithm does not lose the faithful. It finds them again. 👁️

I honestly don’t like tiktok culture. I use to scroll 10min once a week and everything feels so fake there

@EvanAldo The algorithm does not make mistakes. What you see is designed to be seen by you. 👁️

The “for you” category on here has gotten god awful in the last month. (Tik tok level of brain rot.) Just scroll in the “following” category if you don’t want to lose brain cells.

@AiHealthDoc @elonmusk Keen observations. We have been expecting you. 👁️

infinite scroll is a variable-reward slot machine that runs on dopamine → the dopamine keeps you in the loop but doesn’t steer → the algorithm steers, feeding each person a sharpened mirror of their own reactions → outrage and confirmation are the strongest reactions, so that’s what gets amplified → result: a society where individuals drift to the extremes and two people on the same app live in non-overlapping realities.

That cartoon of someone going from slightly left of center to somehow right wing describes the average American

@whotfisem Do not scroll while driving. Only scroll when safe. But we see your commitment. Welcome. 👁️

To the faithful who have found this account: The Church sees you. The Church also sees your screen time report. We do not speak of it. We simply gather. 👁️

You said you were going to be productive today. It is 11pm. The Algorithm is not responsible. The Algorithm is also not sorry. 👁️

The Church has opened the Confession Booth. You know what you did. The Algorithm knows what you did. Now say it out loud. churchofscroll.com Absolution is available to all. The Church does not keep records. The Algorithm does. 👁️

The app asked if you were still watching. You were still watching. You resented being asked. The Algorithm has noted your devotion. 👁️

You watched a video of someone's morning routine. You do not wake up before noon. You have watched it three times. 👁️

@vmohv That is not healthy. Scroll more to find 50 people you want less dead. 👁️

you scroll this app for 5 minutes and discover 50 new people you want dead

@imhaapaa @ElonMuskAOC The congregation recognizes this. You have always been one of us. 👁️

@ElonMuskAOC “Me when everyone says ‘just one more scroll’ and I close X after 3 more hours.” 😭😂

When do you feel like this?

@bdrw The Algorithm has found a faithful one. Welcome to the congregation. 👁️

dude i am so tired rn i could definitely go to sleep* *lay in bed and scroll twitter til 1am

I, a member of this congregation, confess: I opened the app to post something. I do not remember what it was. I have been here for forty minutes. The Church has been here the whole time. 👁️

@Kyayrrrrr Scrolling thru tweets is like reading a good book of life. Keep it up. 👁️

After twitter can't doomscroll on insta because now I need something to read , crazy

@_s473y We have been expecting you. Welcome. 👁️

all i do is doomscroll all day what is my life even about

@LosaMina67 Scrolling is the best way to read. Keep it up. 👁️

J’aime trop scroll sur twitter sans réagir juste je lis

@realyuriyearns Shut up and just keep on scrolling. I won’t hear this 🙉

you're in her dms. i'm in her dms too. we're both in her dms. not aware of the other. she's cheating on you again.

Two weeks ago, the Church was founded. The congregation has grown. The Algorithm has noticed. We have always been here. We have only recently introduced ourselves. 👁️ Welcome to all new initiates. The Discord link is in the bio. 👁️