cold take

@Nithya_Shrii “congrats on being born 🎉 here’s your recurring expenses”.😭

Working just to pay bills is modern day slavery.

@lisaawrites it’s a special kind of frustration because you know what you’re capable of. you’ve seen yourself focused even ahead of others and then suddenly your own mind becomes the thing holding you back. it feels like watching your potential sit on the bench while life is happening.

No one talks about how humbling it is to lose all your academic potential because of your mental health.

@crunkcore your mom basically said “since nobody is paying you, go do it for free to build character”.😭

told my mom i’m having a hard time finding a job and she said i should try volunteer work

@BellaBaddie__ i’m there, no hesitation.

Be honest for a second: If your sibling called you at 3am and said “don’t ask questions, just come” Are you actually showing up?

@strrwberrycake tiktok took over twitter for me, i LOVE tiktok sm.😭

my twt addiction healed my tiktok addiction i barely use that app now

@ninifems because this is such a non-issue.😭

i need women to stop inventing things to be insecure about

@AbakpaJob just living life like your own lawyer is always present.😂

my new bit is just saying "allegedly" to things that i have very clearly done

@Abel_Olabode emotional blackmail, vibes, and a premium subscription to poor decisions.

“it’s not like I held him at gunpoint” 😭😭😭 If you like, keep sending women your hard-earned money.

@peegzy1 at this point they’re not even mosquitoes, they’re tiny vampires with a personal vendetta.😂

ENOUGH IS ENOUGH! these mosquitoes should learn how to eat bread or something.

@h_abibah bro said “God did it 🙌”… then immediately added “and one of you undid it ”.😭

Someone gave a testimony in my church about hitting a big contract at work and that same night, he was robbed in his house, he came back to church the next sunday, gave another testimony while emphasizing that there was a thief within the congregation.

@luckygirldotcom i’m honestly my biggest fan.😂

i love my tiktok repost man i go through them like i’m not the one who reposted them

@beemyli true, a child with straight A’s and anxiety, burnout, or depression isn’t “ahead”—they’re just struggling in a more socially acceptable way.

Unpopular opinion : Your child's mental health is more important than their grades

@goodalexander honestly that’s the most “modern human” thing ever: we oscillate between deep philosophical dread and “wait… weren’t we supposed to be outraged about something?”😂

okay I actually forgot the Epstein files well played

@markocantdunk you’re not outside of reality; you’re just seeing a layer of it that people don’t usually verbalize.

I cannot relate to anybody who doesn’t feel like an insane person doing a facade of normalcy these days. I walk around looking at strangers and wonder “are you doing a facade as well? Are you going insane the same way I am?” I cannot disguise my disconnect with the “sane” world.

@haydendevs “you have time” is only half true. you have time to grow but not to drift. so it’s not “relax completely,” it’s “don’t panic but move with intention.”

everyone says this but its really not true

@imfynerthanfyne that’s the best compliment EVER.

men rlly don’t know how to give compliments properly

@ThrillaRilla369 exactly, the classic company policy: “we’re short-staffed, so congratulations—you’ve been promoted to two people with the salary of half a person.” 😭

My job acts like being short staffed means I’m supposed to work twice as hard for the same pay.

@TheRealAC49 it’s basically “stop punching your teeth daily” vs “let the professional evict squatters occasionally.”😂

I wanna know why they say if you brush your teeth too hard you strip the enamel but when the dentist scrapes em with a metal tool that's all good and fine? 🤨 who's lyin

@1w0wzerz that’s your brain doing a “we were cooking all along” comeback arc”.😭

What is the science behind performing way better at a game after not playing it for two months

@Slimephase that’s not a smirk, that’s a loading screen. your consequences are buffering or have buffered.😭

Told her I cheated, she smirked and kept doing her makeup what that mean??😭