Squeem

@Variety Video of a woman who was at the show. x.com/but_please_sta…

#SNL freshman Jeremy Culhane recalls almost flunking his live audition after accidentally hitting a woman in the face with a pair of nunchucks during a sketch: “I had sent in a tape each of the last seven years — new material every time — and I finally gave up the dream. My manager was like, ‘Just do it one more year.’ So I did. And during my live showcase in L.A., I did a character that was a nunchuck pastor. I was swinging the nunchuck, and it flew out of my hand and hit a woman in the audience in the face. I completely lost the crowd — I was crushing, and then it went completely dead. Everybody was quiet. I looked at my old manager who dropped me, and he was shaking his head. On the side, my two best friends were crying with laughter. It triggered something in me: This is all silly. Even though this job is serious, at its heart it’s stupid and fun. So I started improvising out of it, and kind of won the audience back. I finished with a song called ‘I’m Addicted to Giving Women Head.’ I’ve never seen an audience turn from ‘We hate you’ to ‘That was the best thing I’ve ever seen in my life.’” wp.me/pc8uak-1lHgdd

@SubwayTakes @ColinJost @netflix Colin Jost has obviously never had to play an icebreaker game at a company meeting.

The expression, 'I didn't have that on my bingo card" is the dumbest expression I've ever heard!! @ColinJost Starting May 11th, episodes of @popculturejeopardy will release every weekday through Jun 5th on @netflix

@BullTheoryio I would pay $20 for it just for the story. What is the justification for saying it’s worth less than $5? Feels like sensationalism

Someone bought Jack Dorsey’s first ever tweet NFT for $2.9 million in 2021. Today, it is worth less than $5.

@LRSerling *Getting banned from Friday Night Magic for wearing a “I only play aggro decks” shirt and playing an island*

Juat found out that in competitive irl yugioh bluffing is illegal?? A player got a 6 month tournament ban for putting tokens off to the side that his deck doesnt actually use in order to trick opponents into believing hes running different cards than he was

@TFletcherDesign @iroasmas He’s more saying “when I remember the smartest thing I ever did, I also have to remember the time I saw 4 people die”. Yeah it wasn’t his fault but it’s still PRETTY ROUGH

@iroasmas No it didn't, that's totally false and illogical. What he did in no way caused their deaths. Right?

i read an interview of a teenager who survived a tragedy where someone went into a whirlpool, and two friends went in after to save him. he alone didn’t go in after them. all 3 died he said, “everyone says not jumping was the smartest thing i ever did. and i know it’s true. but the smartest thing i ever did ended with three people dying” i think about this a lot

@PsyPost “Alternative, highly effective neural strategies” and it’s just silently sitting on the couch together, playing on our phones.

A new study shows that individuals with similar levels of autistic traits are naturally drawn to one another. Brain scans reveal they use alternative, highly effective neural strategies to connect, challenging traditional deficit-based models of autism. dlvr.it/TSSN7t

@messedupfoods The second one is figuring out the best pan for killing zombies

@fmtovvns I would never make a Charlie Kirk joke. I just plainly state that it is good that he is dead.

Nice Charlie Kirk joke dude! I couldn't help but notice you're actually happy he was murdered though

@BartholomewPx @TheEXECUTlONER_ @EastTexan @kittenaround_51 I’ve heard of this foam you could spray that becomes incompressible once it hardens. I think it’s made of polyurethane.

@TheEXECUTlONER_ @EastTexan @kittenaround_51 You could inject some sort of incompressible material while the jack is in place to help take the load off the jack so it doesn't bleed, maybe?

This guy used a car jack to lift an entire sidewalk and injected polyurethane underneath to stabilize and level it. This type of job can cost all the way up to $25 a square foot. But….. hear me out here, what if we just kept the jack in the ground and buried the $50-$100 jack right where it’s at? Wouldn’t that save a ton of money? Could it work? Would it work?

@ReyGames3 @Kelble @ashen_one You can transfer to your brokerage and then pay your credit card from the brokerage. It’s an annoying extra step but it’s what I do.

@Kelble @ashen_one Only if you use it for gift cards or add it to your Robinhood brokerage account. Paying off the card balance is less value

ITS SUNDAY U KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS ROBINHOOD CREDIT CARD POINT GAMBLING TIME (robinhood credit card has lotteries where u can open pack with your cashback points 😭😭🤣🤣)

@timothymryan83 @jaubreyYT @GianmarcoSoresi Maybe if it looked anything like her

@jaubreyYT @GianmarcoSoresi So, she can sue for her likeness being used, right?

Triggered?

@yonann He’s just saying $5M can’t buy you yachts and private jets for life. Literally just not a “crazy life forever”. The comments are missing that.

Caleb Hammer says 5 million dollars doesn’t buy you a crazy life forever "5 million dollars is more money than most people can imagine, but it doesn’t give you a huge crazy life for the rest of your life" "I've always accepted I might have to go get a regular job post YouTube"

@MrBeast Dang. Maybe I should have pushed the red button.

If this tweet has exactly 1 like in 24 hours I’ll give that person $1,000,000

@GianmarcoSoresi @CantEverDie I watched another one of his videos and I was making the same faces she made. I’m saying that she was not being performative…he just gives that reaction to some people.

@CantEverDie It’s not crowd work if the other person isn’t even talking!!!!!

we’re in the middle of a crowd work epidemic

@axifyclipping_ That’s not what he said. Not saying he’s not creepy, but he’s saying that his computer has to be at least 6 years old. Which means he started liking her when she was [googles her]….oh. Oh. When she was 12 😬

Piper Rockelle ENDED her podcast and was left SPEECHLESS after her 58-year-old 0F top spender revealed he’s supported her since she was young 😳 “When did you first discover me? How many years ago?” “When I got my computer, you had to be 6 years old.”

@afraidofwasps @poe_collector Counterpoint: the clip is very funny

@shellbow_ @TheNerdWASuit We used to think the 4-minute mile was impossible. Until someone did it. Now there are high schoolers that can do it.

@TheNerdWASuit People who complain about how far metal bending has come in a few generations should look up Olympic performances from 50 years ago. It’s night and day to what people do now. The fact is that it’s human nature to keep pushing the boundaries

You know, I don't mean to try and sound rude, but a lot these criticisms I see about Korra scream to me the specific problem these people have is that the world just...evolved. Seeing how metalbending took off after Toph discovered it is just so cool to observe with Korra.

@alice_sama Love when Thragg was like “yes Mark we’re really here, this isn’t a hallucination like all those other times”

This is what would happen if Thragg fcked up his timing when meeting Mark in the season finale 😭 #Invincible #InvincibleMemes #Thragg

@sircalebhammer Oh is “barely obese” your official category? Way to downplay it fatass 😂

I Admit I Am Obese

@Bad_____bunny99 Thragg to Cecil

Why didn't thragg negotiate with Cecil and Leaders of the Coalition of Planets Instead of mark making the call on his own?