Dan The New Man Smith

I'm in the basement, canning pickled fucks. You never know when you will run out of fresh fucks.

Hawai’i just passed a bill that undermine Citizens United. The bill establishes corporations as “artificial persons” without the right to spend money on elections. The bill could limit the influence of super PACs and be a model to challenge the influence of money in politics.

With purity culture on the rise again I think it’s very important to be naked a lot, masturbate and have sex, watch porn and make porn, and don’t let anyone tell you embracing your sexuality is bad.

How come celebrities speak out about everything except Jeffrey Epstein.

Some roofer guys from next door blocked my drive today. I knocked on the truck’s window and said “what the fuck” and gestured wildly and he rolled the window down and said, “we got a firecracker on our hands, boys!” and I said “i am more like a bomb” and he really liked that.

@JaneotN @curiouschinwag And then those same employees who are on SNAP/EBT benefits, buy groceries at Walmart, because they get a 10% discount. Walmart wins, all the way around!

Why is this creepy little South African son of a bitch in China meddling in US foreign policy? Elon Musk should be stripped of his US citizenship, lucrative government contracts and UNDESERVED security clearance. Deport that privileged a-hole back to Cape Town ASAP-fucking-P.

This is not normal.

Thank you Fox News for the 1st Time

In 10th grade, I overheard a female 11th grader tell someone that I was weird. I just looked her up online and my house has twice the square footage and is worth 33% more than hers so WHO'S WEIRD NOW, JODI?

Xi has greeted President Obama at the airport in China. Xi has also traveled to see President Biden at the White House. Donald Trump had to travel to China and wasn’t even greeted. I miss being respected

When I’m eating shared nachos I’m always thinking 3 nacho moves ahead of my opponent.

Trump is negotiating to settle his lawsuit against his own IRS, and one of the remedies being floated (along with almost 2 billion dollars) is the IRS dropping all audits of Trump, his family, and his businesses. Just absolutely staggering corruption.

The “I don’t take a salary” president is now trying to take $10 billion from us

Trump: “President Xi doesn’t respect Obama, nobody does.” And yet the only time Xi came to the White House was when Obama was president.

Ask a communist why they hate capitalism, and they'll give you a myriad of reasons. Ask a capitalist why they hate communism, and they'll describe capitalism.

If we can't be taxed on unrealized gains, why the fuck are we being taxed on the new increased valuation of our home without selling it? THAT'S UNREALIZED GAINS!

🚨BREAKING: The Senate just failed to end the Iran war. 49-50. The one vote that blocked it: John Fetterman. A Democrat.

Same As It Ever Was...

For fuck's sake, Donald J. Trump is selling off American farmland to the Communist Party of China. Let that shit sink in.