dotn

@BovrilG I think that would probably be ‘The Crying of Lot G’ by Yo La Tango. I think all participants would kind of just want to kill themselves with a heroin overdose.

I’ve been spending most of this morning trying to come up with the worst possible song to watch your wife being railed by another man to and the best I’ve come up with is Chas & Dave’s “Snooker Loopy”

@Milkmeray Mustard?

i just found out my American friend doesn't know what hotdog sauce is. It literally has an american flag on the bottle of hotdog sauces wdym they don't have it and never heard of it? Germany just made that shit up!???😭😭 HUHHH

@Bob_Janke …being played by an actually old Abe Vigoda in a wig.

Little known fact: The woman that gets out of the red Ferrari Testerossa at the very beginning of Road House is actually a young Charlize Theron

@adamstatonsmith @scotchscotchzz @Mike_M_Klotz You disgust me.

@scotchscotchzz @Mike_M_Klotz This is crap. I’m a ryobi guy. I’m an average homeowner. I’d rather have an amazing suite of tools that I use 6x a year than have spent all my money on dewalt drill that I’ll never push near its limits. I’m hanging picture frame for god sakes

I witnessed a man at Home Depot go down a dark path. This choice will lead to a broken home, a promiscuous wife, gay children, and unfinished projects while drinking seltzers. If you don’t take your tools seriously you don’t take your life seriously.

@DanaAllenS @Bob_Janke Der Fuhrer’s Face really said something back then.

@Bob_Janke Nirvana is listed and not Spike Jones?

I can listen to Led Zeppelin, non-stop, 24 hours a day, without commercials in my own private headphones FOR FREE and I still won't do it.

@VladTimes @EddieTrunk I saw Billy Bob at the mid state fair. I enjoyed the Boxmasters.

@EddieTrunk He should've booked smaller venues. I saw both Bruce Willis, Billy Bob Thornton & later Lou Diamond Phillips at a small venue on Beale Street that topped out at 200 people max. Fun times had by all.

Credit to anyone actually honest about the reason for a cancellation

@BENZOTOOIE “The parking was fantastic. Really close by.”

“The movie was… it’s… This is a beautiful theater, son.”

@fwmarqix I had this happen to me in Tokyo at an eel house. The main chef was 99 or something and my Japanese friend talked up how much I love eel. They filmed me in the presidents room.

Me: sitting quietly in a tiny ramen shop. Chef: Extra egg? Me: Sure. Chef nods with terrifying seriousness. Friend: Congratulations. Me: For what. Friend: You've been chosen. Me: By WHO. Chef disappears into kitchen. Entire staff suddenly start moving faster. Me: Why did the atmosphere change. Friend: You complimented the broth too sincerely. Me: That's bad? Friend: Now he must prove himself. Me: This feels illegal. Chef returns carrying a bowl that looks spiritually important. Chef: Please. Me: Why does this ramen have an aura. Friend already taking photos: I've never seen him use that spoon before. Me: WHAT SPOON?! Old customer in corner whispers: "The dragon ladle..." Me: absolutely not. Chef watches silently while I take first bite. long pause Me: ...oh my God. Chef closes eyes slowly like a warrior hearing good news from battle. Random businessman starts clapping once. Then the whole restaurant joins in. Me: PLEASE STOP. Friend wiping tears: He accepted you. Me: IT'S NOODLES.

@KevinEspiritu Strawberries are a better cover crop. Less vigor but not terrible. Best is going to be your legumes so you can boost your nitrogen.

@FuxNet @alexchristy17 @newsbusters I think you’re right. His other movie was alright. Danny Glover, that dude from Atlanta and David Cross as the white people voice were kind of funny but it was preachy as hell.

@dotn @alexchristy17 @newsbusters I don't think boots riley will have an issue with that

The Daily Show has its Hasan Piker moment as it promotes a new film by self-described communist Boots Riley about shoplifting that Jordan Klepper describes as "'Pee-Wee’s Big Adventure' if it were directed by Karl Marx with a bunch of Molly in the background."

@justinboldaji You know Mateo was just sitting around watching Wolf of Wall Street making those noises.

This the funniest shit I’ve ever read

@MoMohler The Sumac called it the Mo’Mohler. They’d wear it as a stink bracelet for good luck.

They say that Native Americans used every part of the animal they killed. What were they doing with the butt holes?

@Cheesymanfredo “Oh Nagina, that’s not a place for serpents. Or is it? Oh you cad!”

So is the porn played in between the Harry Potter movies or is porn spliced into the Harry Potter movies?

@orcachillin Nope, same hemisphere though.

apparently i can limit replies to just seattle?? hi seattle people reply if you can

@jbaby4788 @nocontextmemes His weapon is a gas fitting he utilizes as a garrote. Just like in the original when he taught Biff the ways of Uncle Ben-Kun’s way of the dream warrior.

@dotn @nocontextmemes Dark and gritty Death of a Salesman remake. In order to become well liked, Willy Loman has to fight in an underground Kumite.

@Cakman @lukeisamazing Wait up, Hyperion has definitely been logged as Canterbury in Space every time I’ve discussed it. Are you saying Rashomon is a closer equivalent?

@dotn @lukeisamazing Oh are you just trying to do Internet jokes? Did not pick up on that, thought we were having a genuine conversation. But even still, only sort of-- Canturbury Tales just has a single framing device and Hyperion is just multiple viewpoints. Neither are really doing the same thing.

@Cakman @lukeisamazing True, but I enjoy the old fashioned means. That new fangled on the same page but also has relevance stuff is too much for me. Did it make no sense but everyone catch a vibe?

@SaulSlut Once I made the connection that he’s a Lemmon aficionado like myself, it all made sense. The craziest part of Breaking Bad was the amount of Lemmonheads.

@dotn He was brilliant as Shelley Levine in Glengarry Glen Ross on Broadway last year! I got to see it and it was amazing!

@Cakman @lukeisamazing Oh so Canterbery Tales, but instead of some Hyperion knock off it’s even more gay. I get it, I’m just not into it.

@dotn @lukeisamazing On a personal level I appreciate IJ, but I think the technique used in HoL is more effective because it's kind of done firstly from necessity-- you're reading stories nested within one another four times over. The aesthetic element is surely present but it's not the only reason.

@graveair I hung with the babies in Catholic pergatory. They say they don’t have the cool magazines. Heaven doesn’t help the aborted kids. You heard it here first.

Theologically, Heaven is equally, if not more terrifying than hell.