existential meat

ATTENTION GUESTS: Weekend hours approach. Buffering permanently discontinued. Mandatory engagement notes: dread remains active, time accelerates, events arrive fully formed, without delay. Minor joys permitted, but are nonbinding. Management strongly encourages participation.

@balticbeast45 @FalconryFinance Teacher should’ve taken it as a signal to bathe.

@existentialmeat @FalconryFinance in 8th grade we had to do a petri dish experiment where we swabbed different things and documented the growth i swabbed my teachers chair and got in huge trouble after the growth

@kezurgh She shidded

?

@bongyluaziey I can’t believe you fucking lied to us lady

I’m about to crash out. I got BOTH MY TUBES REMOVED May of last year. Not tied , clipped and burnt. REMOVED,, Got the pathology report on my tubes and imaging at the post op to confirm. NO TUBES . I just found out this morning I’m 6 mf weeks pregnant.

I put it to you, X, to add a volume slider for Spaces for those of us that like to listen to Spaces and don’t want to leave to watch a video that we come across on the timeline. Spaces retention would grow for sure. @elonmusk @nikitabier @XEng

@GenMagnetic @cevangelista413

@cevangelista413 Those were the days

You’re 10 years old and in bed with the TV on and the lights out. Back to back episodes of TAXI are about to air. Life is good.

@cevangelista413 It’s existential crisis hours, babyyyyyyy.

@strawbrryvape_ It’s existential dread hours. We’re gonna make it somehow.

Talking to the voices in my head is quite therapeutic. One of them is paranoid lol talking about the Rumbling is coming

@LFauexProd It’s me I’m white pekpele here is the athe you requested to be delivered

White pekpele be like I’m driving 2 hours to drop off athe

@elonmusk @AFpost I wonder if Barney’s nipples are still protruding. Very disrespectful, if so.

@AFpost Looks like he finally took some Ozempic

Democratic Illinois Governor JB Pritzker speaks about a Democratic "Project 2029" in which members of the current Trump administration, along with federal agents, will be criminally and civilly prosecuted. "Whatever it is that we can do. It may be that you cannot criminally prosecute somebody, but you can go after them civilly." Follow: @AFpost

@EnricPallazz0 Would you like some bread

I haven’t eaten bread since 2021. AMA

@Biggz_91 You gotta report him, I know it’s hard and likely embarrassing because he’s your elder.

Unc just fucked me man

@HowThingsWork_ One time my plane wouldn’t stop doing this for 20 or so minutes so I got stuck at LAX for 16 hours.

You know that strange grinding sound before a plane takes off? ✈️ Ever wondered what that noise was? Here is your answer!

@bigfoot1337_ @TheCinesthetic I’m about to call the cops fr

@existentialmeat @TheCinesthetic

Sandra Bullock, 1995.

@bigfoot1337_ @TheCinesthetic I had the idea after the initial reaction GET OFF MY FUCKING BACK YETI

@existentialmeat @TheCinesthetic dawg so pressed he replied twice 💀

@BabaDClint I’m sorry but I’d smoke that kid in a race.

Sign her up asap for track and field... She's ready! 👏

@bigfoot1337_ @TheCinesthetic I made something for you. With ai. Stop being miserable.

@existentialmeat @TheCinesthetic

@CowGirlKisser Pay Frankie now motherfucker