jizz and tonic

today seems like a good day to avoid Twitter

@GreenEggs1985 @TheMetsX Yeah, so anyway, it’s also illegal in Puerto Rico.

@TheMetsX Who cares, another man’s culture isn’t your business. Unless it’s the Middle East and a grown man is marrying a child then ok, that’s a huge problem. It’s a fuckin chicken

Edwin Diaz’s star Rooster on its way to kill another chicken

@elischoop Love this album and still remember it. Was kinda glad I forgot when Steven was leaning in super fucking hard on being her.. grand-nephew

feels like cosmogramma has been memoryholed pretty bad when its the spiritual descendant of alice coltrane youtube.com/watch?v=hYraDJ…

@lifeof_jer @HORISracing you use the same API key for staging and prod?

@HORISracing It was a staging environment.

@rowdyburns1978 @SaveYourCinema Right? I don’t understand the move here. “If you don’t give me a firm timeline for re-opening, I’m going to protest and try to stop you from doing one of the things you need to re-open and be able to sustain a business.”

@SaveYourCinema Hilarious that you’re framing this as if you’re putting them on trial for not reopening it but in reality this is them applying to reopen it because they want to reopen it and it has nothing to do with you at all.

Alright folks. This is it! A public hearing for the future of the Cinerama Dome & Arclight Hollywood. We can question them IN PERSON! We will ask for specefic reopening timelines and they will have to prove they are serious about reopening to get a liqour license renewal approved. RSVP: partiful.com/e/lW9ap5Lkprjg…

@SaveYourCinema It would be quite literally insane to apply for a liquor license with no intention of reopening. Also didn’t you say you were stepping away from this after you picked up harassment charges?

We deserve a specific reopening timeline for the Cinerama Dome and MAJOR questions answered by Decurion. If they refuse I don’t think they deserve approval IMO.

@HoodieAlonso 8-2 to sweep, my man.

Dodger comes to the plate: this guy had a career year last year and gained 50 lbs of muscle this offseason and the fanbase adores them Met comes to the plate: this is the worst baseball player I have ever seen

@akshatsharma989 @GhostHu40406586 @beatsinbrief sorry, genuine question before i respond--are you mentally challenged?

@GhostHu40406586 @beatsinbrief bro if i m innocent i will be calm no matter how many people are there? but this guy is behaving strangely i m not accusing him but this guy has done something which he was ashamed just an observation from my site because i m good at reading people and i have read psychology.

Indian man Akash Singhania moves to file a multi-million dollar defamation lawsuit in the US against streamer Vitaly Zdorovetskiy after being falsely accused of being a child predator in a sting, raising concerns over racism against Indians.

@Evo @_MenaRD__ @daigothebeast Is anybody else old enough to remember when this wasn’t scripted?

"Beating Daigo in this set... will be the biggest win of my life." @_MenaRD__ talks about challenging @daigothebeast in the Kemonomichi FT10 format and the significance of their upcoming match.

@BillShaikin my man out here documenting every individual piece of trash like he never takes public transportation or even walks anywhere. sure, it’s not ideal, but you know how many of us walk that bridge or up the hill on a regular basis? it’s LA, not a third world country.

@S2zC7g @W15Mej2esY4811 my dude just discovered corners, doors, and architecture in general

@W15Mej2esY4811 ねぇねぇよく見たらこの写真おかしな所あるよね？ 私だけかな？何か左右の風景？が違うんだよね？ これ、私の勘違いなら全然良いんだけどこんな場所ってあるのかな？

サイゼリヤのメニュー全部買った〜

@PaperBagDev @Texas68Landon @nytimes @TheAthletic strong words from a man who lives on a couch

@Texas68Landon @nytimes @TheAthletic This just need to be removed entirely. Letting gravity pull you down a ramp is not a sport.

From @TheAthletic: Reports have surfaced before the Winter Olympics that allege ski jumpers are injecting their penises with hyaluronic acid to fly farther. The World Anti-Doping Agency has vowed to investigate. nyti.ms/4r10aaA

@L2pir @BigNapzzz @selfdfens It’s been fun reading you spiral out over some shit that really doesn’t matter. Your music kinda sucks btw

@BigNapzzz @selfdfens The one where he used the “n-word” lol are you serious? “Which song is the one where if a white boy sings the whole thing because he lives Kendrick Lamar is going to piss off all the black people?”

I don't wanna join a chorus of people celebrating Pitchfork's demise. But I will Monday morning quarterback a bit: Maybe the past 20 years of treating novelty rap like high art and guitar music like a cliquey bloodsport alienated the readership. Hard to say.

@Bobkelley777 @DodgersNation @YordiMLB Nah son

@DodgersNation @YordiMLB I’m not a fan at all of Pages, if we are serious about winning another pennant, pages has to go and be replaced. He’s average in the regular season, but World Series, he choked and was too nervous, batting-.067 the dodgers manager finally switched him out, he took too long though

BREAKING: Andy Pages has reportedly decided against playing for Team Cuba in the 2026 World Baseball Classic 🚨 Pages has opted to prepare for the Dodgers season and addressed that he needs a lot of improvement. Via @YordiMLB

@BKiley10 @17thSonSchaefer @JeffPassan may god bless y'all in 2026, truly. i wanna see something fun this year

@fyrabanks @17thSonSchaefer @JeffPassan As a reds fan, we are poverty in our eyes 😓

BREAKING: Star outfielder Kyle Tucker and the Los Angeles Dodgers are in agreement on a free agent contract, sources tell ESPN.

@BKiley10 @17thSonSchaefer @JeffPassan i would have gone with the white sox, but even they paid out for Murakami. the reds aren't a poverty franchise by any means.

@17thSonSchaefer @JeffPassan This is completely wrong. An organization like the Reds could never ever financially catch up to the Dodgers or Yankees. It’s unrealistic

@17thSonSchaefer @JeffPassan same way the Dodgers got Freeman and Betts, who would both have preferred to stay with their franchise if the offer was matched

People will blame the spenders. What really kills the league is the teams that refuse to spend. This bothers me less then being a Reds fan and how our owners cry poor, “small market”… they have cheap controllable stars and aren’t spending to take them over the top. They’re lying to fans, and there’s no requirement for them.

i hope you're having a great day, and if not, that it gets better soon.

@Hoespice21 @lifeismizzy "milk shower in public" in the top right corner is just such a weird, sad exclamation mark on this whole thing.

@lifeismizzy This was the most stupidest bit/prank I’ve seen. Watching that clip of you messing with that guy and him tearing you a new one was the most satisfying thing I’ve seen. Your camera man was shaking from being so scared and you standing there looking like a speechless dumbass 😂🫵🏽

Officer Mizzy gives out tickets in hollywood 🚓 #lifeismizzy #pitchKICK 🚔 kick.com/lifeismizzy

@maibarraza @RoofKorean7 Ah yes. I hated when everyone mocked the goddamn horse medicine that was shown in multiple studies to be completely ineffective against COVID. That sucked

@RoofKorean7 The most disturbing part wasn’t the virus. It was watching medicine abandon curiosity for compliance. Ivermectin mocked. HCQ buried. Dissent punished. Some of us kept notes. Independent access matters: medscrest.com

News that could've been really useful 5 years ago... Thank you establishment medicine and ignoring the ivermectin (ridiculed as horse paste), hydroxychloroquine (a quinine easily made at home) mixtures that could've saved so many instead of dying alone...in empty hospitals as staff made tik tok dance videos...fucking macabre. I don't forget. 20K more words says the publisher. Well, hot damn...it's going in this book.

@LB_Brigade @RoofKorean7 Wouldn’t cause myocarditis a year after. It happens within 1-3 days. Sounds more like your other “aggravating health factors.”

As someone who was a front line health care worker when all this started I received the first vaccines.. it was either that or lose my job. I did not have the luxury to do so at the time. One year later I was hospitalized with what they thought was a heart attack, then was confirmed to be myocarditis. I do have aggravating health factors that exacerbated the outcome. I have an autoimmune disease (lupus) but my cardiologist who was part of the NIH, educated at Johns Hopkins University, during which time he pursued research in finite element biomechanical modeling of the heart, also thinks the vaccines are linked to this problem. I was a healthy person before.. now I have lost 15% of my heart function. This should be labeled as gross misconduct and I, along with all the others who suffered deserve the truth!