broomy☢️

@Hobbie4C "Denying radical islam exists" campaign medal.

We all know what Ben's medals have been awarded for. But what are your best guesses as to what recognised valour and gallantry has Krissy been rewarded for during her tour/s deep into the bowels of the Canberra bureaucracy?

@SamanthaTaghoy ISIS guy has a performance that will blow your mind though.

Today, Keir Starmer has banned Kanye West from entering the UK because his “extremist views pose a threat to the country.” But… Last week, Keir Starmer invited a LITERAL ISIS TERRORIST to 10 Downing Street.

@SprintsUp17478 @BradKlibansky Yeah, and a six day break.

@gavva79 @BradKlibansky It's not the winning, it's the effort required...

😱 💩 🩲 👏 👏 What. A. game. Well done to both teams. That will be hard to beat for game of the season!! Massive win by the Hawks Ginnivan ⭐️ Josh ward 👏 🧙 🔥 The youngsters 😃 Gunners 🍷 Tackling and pressure 💪 Midfield 👍 Massimo D’Ambrosio 🦵 ✅ Beating Geelong in a thriller 🥳 Backline in the 4th 😘 Lewis in the 4th 🙌 Goal kicking 💩….again 🤮 @HawksInsiders #AFLHawksCats

@AflGlicko VFL team will need to be stacked (in the future) to take on the mighty Tassie Devils

Geelong VFL selection In: Jhye Clark, Kobe George, Will Sheahan, Jack Costello, Tom Peirce. Out: Brad Close, Jack Bowes, Jake Kolodjashnij, Kye Annand, Jesse Hart Therefore, 23 of last week's team sans Jhye Clark, and including Close, Bowes and Kolodjashnij will be picked.

@TheMarcitect Elon can probably monitor it. They are testing him to see if he can keep the NASA secrets.

I thought there would have been wall to wall coverage and great camera shots for the moon mission by NASA to prove everyone wrong about them faking everything. But apparently all we get is a visualization of what it might look like.. This isn't helping NASA's case at all.

@RealHickory Can we split the NBA conferences into God Fearing and Devil Worshiping now?

I used to respect Billy Donovan, but not anymore after he said Jaden Ivey didn’t "live up to certain organizational standards, that his conduct was detrimental to the team." That's just Chicago BullsSHIT! The Bulls stated they do not support free speech or Christians.

@AlboMP "Those who were wavering because of my crappy speech, please like me".

NEWS: We’re cutting gambling ads on TV, radio, online and on the field.

@Rob_Ruadh2 How come I can see all of Albo's press releases but I can't find the vision of him on the boat with the party boys any more? Anyone still have it?

If Albo had said... "Right, shit's fucked. Sorry we didn't prepare for this. So, we're going to team up with Trump, send in the big guns & get oil out here stat. Then, we're going to start producing our own shit so we're never in this mess again". ..I'd probably vote for him.

@dom_lucre Hopefully they follow the Aboriginal song lines and take all their space rubbish when they return.

🔥🚨BREAKING: Fox News just announced the first woman, first person of color and first Canadian are making history on this trip to the moon.

@grswo Primary vote is dropping. Yep, real support.

The PM does the correct thing, address Australians, tells the government has their back, don't panic help each other and try to minimise fuel use. Now the usual suspects are out complaining he had nothing important to say. And they wonder why the Aussie voters trust Labor

@theoztrucker The government acts like they are taking a hit. They don't show you how the GST take will be greater, and likely offsets the excise reduction.

So…… we’ve cut the fuel excise in half. Basically dialled the fuel price clock back a week or so. I just drove down Pennant Hills Road on my way home from Brisbane. Diesel at the BP at the top there $3.31.9 So no change then. Well done everyone. Well done!

@AlboMP Did you record this in the morning . . . . . of April Fools Day???

My Address to the Nation.

@anguskramer Brodie Moles?

Cleary never misses

@Ryandally08 Just on the beef then? Not the pork products?

@TheHoopsCrew The Victorian government is giving $84m to ensure the project is finished in 24 weeks.

Not good… A drainage inspection following recent heavy rains has identified a failure in the GMHBA Stadium’s turf's binding layer. The AFL has reportedly been advised that the ground is unsafe for professional play until a full 10-week resurfacing project is completed.

I dare a petrol company to advertise diesel for $1.50/L and when people come to pay just say "April Fools"and charge full price. Albo won't prosecute, he loves a laugh.

@KTHopkins Dame Edna should get a gig if the criteria is this loose?!

*COUGHS VERY FUCKING LOUDLY* ……

@realMaalouf Suicide bacon bomb incoming.

You see this sign at your workplace. What’s the first thing that comes to mind?

@Ryandally08 Ooooo, the press isn't being nice. Time to jump in the plane.