bam

i would be a good instacart shopper. my replacements would be tasteful. i would break the cycle

@alexL_E_I I’m sorry but if you use a jigger for my vodka soda I’m jumping over the bar

It will always be hilarious that the Bushwick/Ridgewood border argument literally pre-dates America by over 100 years and it has never ended

This report about the surveillance in Madison Square Garden is insane

skipping through mohan’s lecture lmao

braces are kinda chic

@cozyvirgo LANDSLIDE GET DOWN HERE RIGHT NOW. DONT YOU SLAM THAT DOOR IN MY HOUSE

Hurry up, Love T.K.O! You’re gonna be late for school!!!

introducing, the 2026 academi awors d'ouerves:

@rush_less love

i was making small talk with the panera lady and i forgot the word “low.” talm bout “yep it’s gonna be in the young 70’s today”

hey man i'm sorry if i got super cruel and full of hate the other night

@thamosdeaf yes

Are there a ton of Breaking Bad fans that didn't watch Better Call Saul? Just a thought I'm having when considering that Breaking Bad has one of the worst fanbases of all-time and BCS fans are entirely normal, when they should have huge overlap.

he made the same mistake stevie nicks did and i think that’s beautiful

zohran mamdani:

sorry I’m late to the discourse - uhhhh, chopping onions is racist

god intended delivery of chinese food and pizza, everything else is haram

gotta give it to tennessee on this one

i think i was meant to run a gas station

The Alex Honnold video live: ghoulish, macabre, end of civilization The Alex Honnold video as a recording: spiritual, life-affirming, beautiful

@rubiks_kubed maybe he was doing a mrs. doubtfire

Remembering the time I had a date here and the guy was in the bathroom for 40 minutes

the word "content" hits my ears like a slur