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Actual quotes from President Trump: Trump’s “victory timeline” claims. Mar 3: "We won the war." Mar 7: "We defeated Iran." Mar 9: "We must attack Iran." Mar 9: "The war is ending almost completely, and very beautifully. March 10: practically nothing left to target Mar 11: “You never like to say too ⁠early you won. We won. In ​the first hour it was over.” Mar 12: "We did win, but we haven't won completely yet." Mar 13: "We won the war." Mar 14: "Please help us." Mar 15: "If you don't help us, I will certainly remember it." Mar 16: "Actually, we don't need any help at all." Mar 16: "I was just testing to see who's listening to me." Mar 16: "If NATO doesn't help, they will suffer something very bad." Mar 17: "We neither need nor want NATO's help." Mar 17: "I don't need Congressional approval to withdraw from NATO." Mar 18: "Our allies must cooperate in reopening the Strait of Hormuz." Mar 19: "US allies need to get a grip - step up and help open the Strait of Hormuz." Mar 20: "NATO are cowards." Mar 21: "The Strait of Hormuz must be protected by the countries that use it. We don't use it, we don't need to open it." Mar 22: "This is the last time. I will give Iran 48 hours. Open the strait" Mar 22: "Iran is Dead" Mar 23: "We had very good and productive talks with Iran." Mar 24: "We’re making progress." Mar 25: “They gave us a present and the present arrived today. And it was a very big present worth a tremendous amount of money. I’m not going to tell you what that present is, but it was a very significant prize.” Mar 26: "Make a deal, or we’ll just keep blowing them away." Mar 27: "We don’t have to be there for NATO." Mar 28: No major quote Mar 29: Claimed talks were progressing Mar 30: "Open the Strait of Hormuz immediately, or face devastating consequences." Mar 31: Claimed a deal was "very close" and that Iran would "do the right thing" Apr 1: "We’ll see what happens very soon." Apr 2: Repeated that a deal was likely, while warning of continued strikes if not Apr 3: "Something big is going to happen." Apr 4: Said Iran must comply "immediately" or face further consequences. Apr 5: "Open the fuckin' Strait, you crazy bastards, or you'll be living in Hell - JUST WATCH! Praise be to Allah." April 6 :a whole civilization will die April 7: total and complete victory April8: objectives were met A true disaster

It's not what tRump says at any given moment, it's that everything he's says is just Fucking Stupid.

@MXGRyan Do they even sell enough of those things to keep the lights on??

Zach Osborne has signed an extension with Beta Motorcycles as a brand ambassador through 2028! ❤️🤘

@MeachamDr For sure next Tuesday, or it wouldn't be on the menu.

What’s the likelihood that he Tacos again?

@acnewsitics I saw this movie. It was the Money Pit. How long until the work is completed? 2 weeks.

BREAKING: Trump warns Iran to accept this new two-week ultimatum; otherwise, they'll face the wrath of another two-week ultimatum coming in two weeks

@JamieBonkiewicz Well the first draft came in and it was written in crayon so.....

You guys… I’m starting to think Donald Trump didn’t write The Art of the Deal

@jsolomonReports He took tRump's... outta his mouth just long enough to make that statement.

Todd Blanche says it would be an 'honor' if Trump nominates him to replace Bondi as AG justthenews.com/government/fed…

@RubinReport Same shit same Asshole

Which Panican wants to hand me my “I told you so” award? Trump has been running the same negotiation playbook forever. Pressure, escalation, chaos… then leverage a deal. We’ve watched it happen again and again. This wasn’t complicated. It was basic pattern recognition. While some people were panicking, others were paying attention. Now we move to Phase 2. Iran is largely neutralized. The Strait is reopening. The war is de-escalating. Markets are already reacting. That’s not a small win—that’s a global reset. This forces movement everywhere else. Russia and Ukraine get pulled closer to a real negotiation. China has to think twice about Taiwan when the U.S. just proved it will apply overwhelming pressure when it matters. And for the first time in decades, there is a real path to stepping back from endless Middle East entanglements. Look at the region. It’s no longer just Israel. You’re seeing alignment across countries that historically were nowhere near each other. The world is safer today than it was yesterday—and it’s about to get even safer over the next few months as this locks in. And yes, let’s be very clear about this: This happened because of Donald Trump. Not the pundits. Not the podcasters. Not the panic merchants. Trump. Now comes the real opportunity. With global stability improving, we can finally refocus inward at full speed. Immigration, housing, affordability, healthcare, infrastructure, AI, rebuilding American strength where it actually matters. We are entering a new American era—economically, technologically, and yes, even in space exploration. This is what the start of a new frontier feels like. So here’s the assignment: Put your phone down. Go build something. Start a family. Create. Get outside. Do something real. Stop listening to the Panicans. Onward 🇺🇸

@AdamCianciarulo So you're ready to fill in for....

We did a full main today.

@PaulleyTicks A dead ringer.

Go tuck yourself. Fucker.

@EricLDaugh And tRump will pardon them all for a price $$$

🚨 JUST IN: Acting AG Todd Blanche announces over 8,000 THOUSAND fraud investigations are underway — and even more are coming Good! Leave NO FRAUD unturned, that's what we voted for 🇺🇸

@BreitbartNews Like the 2 weeks to flatten the curve . Operation Bent Knee!

Panicans rekt AGAIN!

@IngrahamAngle @AmbNathanSales Shut up and dance loser!

“DEAD ON ARRIVAL” @AmbNathanSales: “Their wish list was exactly that—a fantasy wish list.” “Withdraw all forces? Not going to happen. Reparations? Not going to happen. Control of the Strait of Hormuz? Dead on arrival.” “This is all subject to Iran opening the Strait—now we watch what Tehran does.”

@RubinReport Yes we do. He's gonna get his diaper changed and have that hideous make up sandblasted from his face.

The truth is, no pundit, influencer, or anonymous furry has a clue as to what Trump is going to do tonight. That is perhaps Trump’s ultimate superpower, keeping everyone on their toes after all these years. I, for one, have faith in him and the people around him.

@DanCrenshawTX Dude he's a Dolt and speaks in crayon. Nothing more nothing less.

A lot of pearl clutching from the usual suspects online and on the cable news panels about “ending civilization.” Take a breath. Let’s do some critical thinking and pretend like we actually know how President Trump communicates. Should he be taken literally? Like you really believe he’s going to vaporize the Persian population? Really? Have you been paying attention the last 11 years? President Trump speaks in terms of POWER, which is the only language our adversaries understand. Carefully worded diplomatic statements make the UN feel nice and cozy but also don’t get anything done. Pay attention to his actions. And so far the actions have left the Iranian military in shambles, their ballistic mission program nearly gone, and their nuclear program nearly destroyed. The President is rightfully prioritizing the need for overwhelming force in order to open the Straits of Hormuz. That’s it. That’s the action we can expect.

@neoavatara Tim's sweaty beanie.

What did he win?

@MarkMeadows Get his dick out of .... wherever.

The Duality of President Trump: Yesterday, he was playing with children at the Easter Egg Roll. Today, he’s negotiating a historic deal with Iran. No one, and I mean no one, does it like President Trump.

@ByronYork The only one who's unbalanced is tRump! Fucking Cucks everywhere tonight.

Trump's war threats are part of what is sometimes called the Fog of Trump. It keeps the enemy off balance. But it can keep the American public off balance, too. And a majority is already opposed to the Iran war. washingtonexaminer.com/daily-memo/451…

@EWErickson No we're just going to insist the he's a Fucking Moron, Big Mouthed,Full of shit diaper wearing Cuck!

All the people who insisted Trump was about to commit war crimes will now insist he chickened out.

@bonchieredstate Yes tRump is stupid in both directions. Art of the kneel.

“Trump is a madman who will nuke everyone and must be removed from office!” “Also, he’s a big chicken for not nuking everyone like I said he would!” If you actually believed the first thing with any seriousness, you’d never say the second thing.