Mark Keeping 🏳️‍🌈 👨🏻‍🤝‍👨🏽 🕷

Did you know that Britain’s M, A, and B roads are numbered according to zones, not done randomly?

I should run a competition - how many of these Gov announcements, all released in last 4 days, have you heard about??? #DoingTheMediasJob #FixingBritain #LabourAchievements

Robert Jenrick under investigation by Metropolitan Police re possible illegal foreign donation for failed Tory leadership bid. Jenrick’s wife Michal Berkner lawyer for the donor, was warned the £40k actually came from a US fraudster. Where's the noise? #BBCBreakfast #r4today

Some notes on my work ethic: -I last voted in Parliament on 18 March, so I haven’t done my job for ten weeks. -I’ve never held any face-to-face constituency surgeries, despite apparently having £5 million to spend on security. -I refuse to do interviews or face press scrutiny of any sort. -when I was in the European Parliament I had the 4th worst attendance record out of 748 MEPs. -although I did manage to turn up to vote AGAINST plans to tackle Russian misinformation. -I was on the Fisheries Committee but I only turned up to ONE out of 42 meetings. -but I will of course be taking my £73,000 EU pension. Vote Reform, get lazy, grifting, self-serving sacks of shit.

So just to sum up. Labour win a 174 seat majority under Keir Starmer and return to power after almost a decade and a half. They find governing challenging against the backdrop of struggling public services and low growth, and make unforced errors (winter fuel, Mandelson etc). Social media conspiracies, led by Elon Musk, contribute to a toxic political climate. Nigel Farage, the architect-in-chief of Brexit (which made things harder than they needed to be) pops up with his divisive rhetoric and poorly thought through policies and… Labour MPs, egged on by the media, panic. If Andy Burnham, a man without a plan, wins a staged by-election, he likely becomes Prime Minister. He then either calls a general election and loses Labour its hard fought majority, or struggles through for a couple of years before Farage is better “prepared” to move into Number 10. Stupid doesn’t cover it.

People are saying that Nigel Farage has asked Elon Musk to ban people from X for sharing this clip of him attacking his crony Robert Jenrick. Surely free speech champion Nigel Farage isn't that petty? But just in case, THIS is the video that you mustn't download or share

"Five Things I Noticed Whilst watching The Daleks' Master Plan" Silliness by Pip Madeley youtu.be/0q_uF26_5Uw?si…

Fact: Flights going to Dubai don’t have episodes of the Flintstones on their entertainment systems, but flights going to Abu Dhabi do.

🇺🇸 Trump: 90% of their missiles destroyed 🇺🇸US intel: They are Nowhere near destroyed 🔥 🇺🇸Trump: Xi Jinping told me he is not sending weapons to Iran 🇺🇸US intel: China is helping them build missiles🔥 🇺🇸Trump: Iran will take 20 years to recover 🇺🇸US intel: They have recovered faster than expected and stockpiles are at 100%🔥 No one has exposed Trump’s lies quite like U.S. intelligence 🤣

Inflation “unexpectedly” fell by 0.5% to 2.8% Growth was an “unexpected” 0.7% - the highest in the G7 Net immigration “unexpectedly” fell by 82% NHS “unexpectedly” met it’s interim 18 week target Our media have so deceived the public that all positive news is now “unexpected”

That's why you should never trust those with a beer belly

🚨@Nigel_Farage and @reformparty_uk have demanded Elon Musk have this video taken down and everyone who posts it banned!

If my boys grow up to be like Jo and Kush from Race Across the World we will have done something right. They’re a brilliant antidote to Tate-style toxic masculinity: bright, kind, compassionate, emotionally intelligent, grounded, and culturally aware. PROPER role models for boys.

"I said it's quite bold of Nigel Farage to avoid all media interviews during an important by-election. What did I say Roy?" "You said the cowardly little shit's in hiding because of his dodgy financial dealings"

I was elected as a Councillor when I was 20. I spent hours researching about standing orders, how to propose an amendment and what a council structure was. If you’re 40+, stood for election, got elected, and didn’t research how a council works you should resign for incompetence.

Bloke that was sacked at the 11th hour by the Tories because he sent dick pics to councillors. Standing next to the woman who gets angry when she sees black people on TV. Standing next to the bloke who posted a whole host of creepy misogyny, homophobia and hate on his deleted and suspended accounts. Reform UK is a circus.

Farage, with a very different accent, explaining how to exploit and profit from the very same system that he claimed to rail against. Including using one’s wife to account for financial irregularities. Well, it apparently works when trying to explain away house purchases, eh?

Starmer dealing with leadership rivals.