David Turner

I hate to say goodbye old pals @ITWBroadway

@DashEaves @NYC_DOT Brava, Ms. Eaves!

@AJamiePierce You’ve taken up arms against your countrymen

@AJamiePierce What is happening

@aimeelafountain My idol Sue Mermelstein at @nytimes would’ve had the good manners to ask permission

@Sophia_Nyx Alan Silvestri

name your fav film soundtrack composer.

@EdKrassen It would be the 240th anniversary of the “Treaty of London” by your telling

What if the United Colonies had lost the revolutionary war, never wonder their independence and America never became America? I asked AI to write an alternative history in which we lost the Revolutionary War and remained under British control. Here is the story below: A Different Path: The United States Under British Rule 1775-1783: The American Rebellion Suppressed In this alternate timeline, the American Revolution ends in favor of the British Empire. The overwhelming military might and superior resources of the British forces prove too formidable for the nascent United States. American revolutionary leaders, including George Washington, are captured or forced into exile. The signing of the Treaty of London in 1783 solidifies British control over the American colonies. Late 18th to Early 19th Century: Assimilation and British Governance Under British rule, the American colonies experience a period of assimilation and incorporation into the British Empire. The British government implements policies to restore order and stability, emphasizing economic development and strengthening colonial governance. However, simmering discontent and calls for greater representation persist among the American population. 19th Century: Industrialization and Expansion Throughout the 19th century, the American colonies witness a similar trajectory of industrialization and westward expansion, mirroring the events that occurred in the actual history of the United States. British investment in infrastructure, railroads, and manufacturing accelerates economic growth in the colonies. The British Empire continues to expand its influence globally, relying on the American colonies as a crucial economic and military stronghold. Early 20th Century: World Wars and Rising Nationalism As the world plunges into the cataclysmic events of the First and Second World Wars, the American colonies are inevitably drawn into the conflicts. British forces, supported by colonial troops, fight alongside their allies against Germany and the Central Powers. However, these global conflicts foster a growing sense of national identity among the American population, who increasingly desire greater autonomy. Mid-20th Century: Decolonization and Growing Independence Movements The post-World War II era brings significant changes to the British Empire, as it grapples with the tide of decolonization. As former colonies across the world gain independence, calls for autonomy and self-governance grow louder within the American colonies. The British government, recognizing the changing geopolitical landscape, begins a process of devolving powers to the American colonies, granting them increased self-rule. Late 20th Century: American Dominion and the Commonwealth In the latter half of the 20th century, the American colonies gradually transition from British control to a form of dominion status within the British Commonwealth. The United States, as it becomes known, retains close ties with Britain while enjoying a greater degree of internal governance. The United States actively participates in global affairs, aligning its foreign policies with those of its former colonizer. 21st Century: Modern United States within the Commonwealth In the present day, the United States remains a constitutional monarchy, with the British monarch serving as the ceremonial head of state. The United States, while retaining strong cultural and historical ties to Britain, has developed its own distinct political, economic, and social systems. It is an influential global power, shaping international relations, trade, and technology in collaboration with other Commonwealth nations. 2023: A World United Under the Commonwealth In this alternate history, the United States, as a key member of the British Commonwealth, plays a significant role in shaping global affairs. With a diverse population and a history rooted in British colonialism, the United States continues to evolve while embracing its heritage. As the world celebrates the 250th anniversary of the Treaty of London, which ended the American Rebellion, it reflects upon the enduring ties between the United States and the British Empire, and the united vision for a peaceful and prosperous world.

@tylermaynard111 That face. Beyond beautiful

My little guys having a rough day. Darn storms and fireworks.

@JohnWascavage And if you did today’s @NYTGames crossword without thinking of #BeaArthur in #Mame you are officially straight

@MoRocca Looking so croquettish

When in Wisconsin…

@Book_Lady_127 How do you feel? Don’t tell me

Wordle 745 5/6 ⬜🟨🟩⬜🟨 ⬜⬜🟩🟩🟩 ⬜🟩🟩🟩🟩 ⬜🟩🟩🟩🟩 🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩

@stealthxbomber @historyinmemes OMG we are effed

@historyinmemes I hold a strong belief that the Earth is expanding, which could potentially provide an explanation for the current positions of the continents, similar to how our Universe continues to expand.

Based on the principles of physics, it is theoretically possible for a planet to have a donut-shaped structure. To maintain the stability of a donut-shaped Earth, it would need to rotate at extremely high speeds, resulting in shorter day durations. Consequently, the gravitational force at the poles would intensify, approximately twice as strong as at the equator. The Moon would continue to orbit the Earth, as long as it maintains a sufficient distance. If the donut-shaped Earth has no tilt, the inner edges would receive no sunlight, while the outer edges would experience increased sunlight exposure, leading to significant temperature variations and extreme weather conditions. However, if the tilt remains unchanged, both the inner and outer edges would receive adequate sunlight. It is worth noting that a naturally occurring donut-shaped planet is highly unlikely unless advanced extraterrestrial beings decide to create one.

@ArkhamFunfair @jimmisimpson quotes.net/mquote/899749

I asked my dentist what percentage of patients hold their hands like this & she said “I never thought about it but probably 80%”. So at least we have that in common, you guys!❤️

@jimmisimpson Jimmi? [removes glasses] Are *you* that horse?

Once, there was a despotic rich boy who saw how peasants loved the darling carousel in the park. So he bought it & had it moved to his front yard hoping they would love him too. When they didn’t, he started punishing them by bashing the mahogany horses each day with his hammer…

@ErnestGubbins @MrRaceBannon Underrated tweet

That’s not an abortion Becky, that’s murder.

@PicturesFoIder Adults

What was awesome as a kid, but sucks as an adult?

@MoRocca Awaiting a mobituary for your electoral college victory

And yes I know that with this tweet I just lost Florida.

I have to say, I don’t really like Cuban sandwiches. But Lay’s Cuban Sandwich-flavored potato chips are addictive!

@GovKathyHochul @NYSDEC The past tense of forecast is forecast

Smoke from Canadian wildfires is forecasted to cloud the air across New York tomorrow and Thursday. Air quality is expected to reach unhealthy levels in some areas. @NYSDEC is issuing Air Quality Health Advisories for Western and Central New York, and Eastern Lake Ontario.

@agbegin @Bobbycressey @SamAsIAm @vosdscott “Wood halve” found interesting

@Bobbycressey @SamAsIAm @vosdscott rather, a story you *wood find interesting amirite I'll see myself out 👋

A friend who is a municipal arborist just called to tell me about a guy who cut down 32 big mature trees on his neighbor's NJ property to get a better view of NYC. He hired a guy who hired another guy. Cut them down and left the debris there. The fine per tree is $1000 so the 1/

@Julia_Wertz Fellow lamp-saver!