hols

fuccckkkkkkk this

I feel like maybe she should be our next president. She’s a smart, no bullshit, very serious person. We need more leaders like Chairwoman Homendy, please.

@atrupar lmao I’m sure there’s nothing dangerous about this.

Trump on Iranian leaders: "They're gonna make a deal. They did something yesterday that was amazing actually. They gave us a present, and the present arrived today. It was a very big present worth a tremendous amount of money. I'm not gonna tell you what that present is but it was very significant prize."

@atrupar Ok, Vlad.

Trump: "They call it a war. I call it a military operation."

@scarylawyerguy x.com/gothburz/statu…

Randos are cashing in on the prediction market by (possibly?) using inside info on Trump's actions, media laughs along while he tours Graceland *in the middle of a war* & a $200B supplemental will get rubber stamped by his toadies. Think we're missing the forest for the trees

I placed $1.5 billion in futures at 6:50 AM. Fourteen minutes before President Trump's Truth Social post. That's generous. Usually, I get five. The S&P was barely breathing. Premarket Monday. The kind of quiet where a single order echoes through the entire book. I bought $1.5 billion in futures. The index moved 0.3% on my entry alone. That's how thin the market was. That's how empty the room was. At the same time, I shorted $192 million in crude oil. Then I sat there. Three screens. One coffee. The futures blinking green on the left, the oil contract bleeding red on the right, and in the center, a Truth Social feed set to refresh every four seconds. Fourteen minutes is a long time when you know what's coming. Not because I was nervous. Because I was early. At 7:04 AM, the president posted. Productive discussions. Five-day halt on strikes. Peace talks with Iran. S&P jumped 2.5%. Oil cratered 6%. My position gained $60 million before most Americans' alarm clocks went off. Good morning. Iran later denied that the talks ever happened. Called it fake news. The speaker of their parliament accused the president of manipulating financial markets. The talks might not be real. The sixty million dollars is. The analytics accounts flagged it within the hour. "Unusual activity." "Orders 4-6x larger than anything else trading at the time." That's their word for it. Unusual. My word for it is Tuesday. They always flag it. That's their function. Flagging is not investigating. Flagging is the system's way of noting that it saw something, documenting that it will do nothing, and calling that process oversight. The actual investigation is conducted by the CFTC. The CFTC has one commissioner. Out of five seats. One. The other four chairs are empty. Not vacant. Emptied. There is a difference. Vacant means nobody applied. Emptied means somebody decided the body responsible for policing futures markets should not have enough members to hold a vote. That's not negligence. That's architecture. You know what we call this pattern on the desk? TACO. Trump Always Chickens Out. Escalate on Friday, capitulate on Monday, and extract in the window between the decision and the post. It's so reliable, we named it. We have a private Slack channel. #taco-tuesday. It updates automatically when Truth Social pushes a new geopolitical keyword. We don't teach it as insider trading. We teach it as a market structure. New analysts learn it in their first week. By the second week, they stop flinching. The phone rang at 6:47 AM. Three minutes before I entered the position. The call lasted ninety seconds. Ninety seconds of context. $60 million of outcome. You call that insider trading. I understand why. Insider trading is the word you learned. It's the crime from the movies. The whispered merger at a cocktail party. Four hundred shares of a mid-cap pharmaceutical. That gets prosecuted. That's the version of this crime the system was built to catch. What I do is different. I place $1.5 billion against a war decision made in a room I have the phone number to. On a platform overseen by a commission with one member. In a market where the president's social media account is the most powerful price-setting mechanism on earth. That's not insider trading. That's infrastructure. You would go to federal prison for trading on a tip from your brother-in-law. I made $60 million trading on a war. The difference is not the crime. The difference is the decimal point. Americans paid for this war with four-dollar gas and sixteen billion in taxes. I paid for a phone call. We are not in the same economy. Last month, $529 million was wagered on Polymarket's Iran strikes market. Six accounts pocketed $1.2 million. Deposited funds the same day. Hours before the bombs fell. One account cleared $553,000 at 17% odds, seventy-one minutes before public confirmation. He has not placed another bet since. The president's son sits on Polymarket's advisory board. Two federal investigations into the platform were quietly dropped this year. Twelve government officials sold stocks in the weeks before the tariff crash. All of them reported the sales after the deadline. Nobody calls any of that insider trading. They call it prediction markets. Delayed disclosures. Portfolio rebalancing. I call it the junior varsity version of what I do with futures. An Oxford law professor called it the most far-reaching securities fraud in history. We call it the window. Tomorrow, this will be gone. Buried under a new tariff. A new ultimatum. A new TACO. Next Monday at 6:50 AM, I will be here again. Coffee. Three screens. The phone. The ninety-second call. The fourteen-minute window. The game isn't rigged. Rigged implies something broke. Nothing broke. Every component is functioning exactly as specified. The one-member commission. The anonymous platforms. The four-second refresh on the Truth Social feed. The phone that rings at 6:47. I didn't exploit a flaw in the system. I am the system.

Sen. John Kennedy: "The Democrats offered to open up everything but ICE. Ted and I said, 'Ok, let's accept their offer,' and then at the same time we would offer a bill for reconciliation where we don't need any Democratic votes to do whatever we wanted to do with ICE. That way we're out of the shutdown and DHS is back open. Thune submitted that to President Trump. He said, 'No. No deals with the Democrats.' So we're back to square one."

This is Lenny. He prefers to hold your hand while you go downstairs. He's not taking any chances. 13/10

@atrupar The Make A Wish Administration

Kash Patel: "I'm living the wildest dream you could possibly imagine, sir. But it's thanks to you."

@atrupar For the record, I’m just a middle aged accountant on the west coast but I was definitely thinking about it.

Trump: "Look at the way Iran attacked unexpectedly all of those countries surrounding them. That was not supposed to-- nobody was even thinking about it."

@atrupar That’s not even makeup anymore. It’s just spackle.

Trump's discolored hand, photographed today during his press gaggle by Roberto Schmidt of Getty

ALERT: Professional news. Nine days after leaving CBS, I have found a new professional home: Chief Washington Correspondent and Anchor for @MeidasTouch

SHE DOESN’T GO TO THIS SCHOOL

@atrupar Sounds like Joe Kent was exactly the false & twisted GOP definition of a DEI hire. Not merit based but sympathy based.

Fox News cuts away from Trump's gaggle as he bashes Joe Kent, saying "he remarried fairly quickly"

@atrupar I wish we had a president who had a real strategy, lied a lot less, and fixed all his weird & incoherent typos before he hit “send” the first time.

Trump: "I AM PLEASED TO REPORT THAT THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA, AND THE COUNTRY OF IRAN, HAVE HAD, OVER THE LAST TWO DAYS, VERY GOOD AND PRODUCTIVE CONVERSATIONS REGARDING A COMPLETE AND TOTAL RESOLUTION OF OUR HOSTILITIES IN THE MIDDLE EAST. BASED ON THE TENOR AND TONE OF THESE IN DEPTH, DETAILED, AND CONSTRUCTIVE CONVERSATIONS, WHICH WILL CONTINUE THROUGHOUT THE WEEK, I HAVE INSTRUCTED THE DEPARTMENT OF WAR TO POSTPONE ANY AND ALL MILITARY STRIKES AGAINST IRANIAN POWER PLANTS AND ENERGY INFRASTRUCTURE FOR A FIVE DAY PERIOD, SUBJECT TO THE SUCCESS OF THE ONGOING MEETINGS AND DISCUSSIONS. THANK YOU FOR YOUR ATTENTION TO THIS MATTER! PRESIDENT DONALD J. TRUMP"

@SkinnerPm He’s repeatedly told us there’s no leadership left and “we don’t even know who’s in charge there.” Color me skeptical.

You all know the president is lying, right?

@TreyYingst He’s repeatedly asserted there’s no leadership left. Please will someone ask him who he’s been talking to? I thought we didn’t know who’s in charge.

President Trump says “very good and productive” conversations have taken place between the United States and Iran over the past two days.

@RichardEngel Please, will someone please ask him who exactly we’re supposed to believe he’s talking to? He keeps saying there’s no leadership left and “we don’t even know who’s in charge.”

Trump in last few minutes now says threatened massive attacks on Iran now postponed. And that talks with Iran underway. And productive. “Regarding a complete and total resolution of our hostilities”.

@irishrygirl 100%. I hope one of these journalists who keep calling his cell for their extra special fancy exclusive access will ask him who the fuck he wants us to think they’re talking to. He keeps telling us that “we don’t even know who’s in charge.”

Market manipulation to stop gas prices from increasing

@MacFarlaneNews I hope someone will ask him who exactly they’re talking to. He keeps telling us they “don’t even know who’s in charge.”

Trump backs down on timing of his ultimatum to Iran

@alexbward I hope someone will ask him who has been talking. He keeps telling us “we don’t even know who’s in charge.”

AP hed: Trump extends deadline for Iran to reopen Strait of Hormuz