christina parrish

@brocklaborde Congrats homie!

UPDATE: I won this. And the award is a production deal for the movie I wrote. I am not used to winning things.

accidentally used a frozen card for my uber eats order and even though it declined they still processed it because i’m a “valued eater”

Escape hell and come visit the site onlyfans.com/nightstreetgirl

@feraljokes I peeled off my toenails in a dissociative state so maybe that’s a sign

Is anyone ever going to mentally OK again or is that just over

@allenanalysis @omibaloney Patel black out drunk at a bar in Milan makes me vagina hurt

Finding out the head of the FBI is at the Olympics partying on my tax dollars while the Epstein files are still buried and pedos are still walking free.

Imagine being Pam Bondi getting a pedicure after defending a bunch of pedophiles in front of the entire world

@EmmaVigeland @mattxiv I hope this is another Nick Kroll series pls

Right-wing women have zero solidarity with one another, and it's one of my favorite things in the world

@willsommer Hahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahah

Candace Owens is kicking off a miniseries on Charlie Kirk widow Erika Kirk on Wednesday: BRIDE OF CHARLIE.

Pam Bondi wouldn’t last a day in my old neighborhood in Mesquite

hey shut up officer I was actually drunk driving yesterday

@SUBWAY Your mom

IT’S BAAACKKKK. Drop your favorite flatbread order👇

Why is it always the women and children being saved, what about the kangaroos, frogs, cats, F150’s, butternut squash, I mean my vote doesn’t even count anyway for instance I’m a long coat jacket

@Doritos They’re all dead

text someone to have a good day

It’s the year 2055. Trout are running the world. The pencil man says “our government is screwed”. Women don’t exist cause they ran out of Colostrum. Billy Idol is the only man alive. “How could this be” a trout says while doing cocaine. The ocean swells.

Hey Cher it feels like I can’t believe

@MountainDew I know the piss drinkers a working for ICE holler

Who is the biggest Mountain Dew drinker you know?

@GodandCountryy @DanScavino @realDonaldTrump I know you don’t have custody

@DanScavino @realDonaldTrump Congrats 🎉🎊

On behalf of Erin and me, thank you to everyone for the love and support we've received. We both had an unforgettable wedding day, and we'll never forget it. We're humbled and grateful to all. THANK YOU! 🙏🏻🇺🇸🦅🚀

@KariLake @DanScavino I hope you find some gas

@DanScavino So very happy for both of you. You are perfect together.❤️🇺🇸❤️

@megynkelly @DanScavino I hope you find some more poopoo to eat

@DanScavino Congrats! This is so beautiful

I haven’t held a pencil in years