John Beef Wellingoon 🔺🇮🇹

@pippy_skippy Ohhhhh ok I get those a lot actually. I didn’t realize there’s a name for it. Thanks pippy.

@jbeefwellingon Blue Balls Is Like Blocking An Orgasm Hence The O Block Or Blocking Of The O

getting blue balls in chicago call that o block

@raydavisIIII @Shaynagillis And then after everyone had a huge cumshot and clapped

@Shaynagillis I got caught smoking cigs inside twice in a span of minutes and pretended I had no id. I gave them a fake name and major so they let me stay 🙂

Since there’s no actual Pre Law requirements I’m about to start Larping and tell everyone I’m Pre Law

@pippy_skippy What are you talking about ?

@jbeefwellingon Sure Bro

@sarah_micheleg I’ll probably just go to work. It’s all I do anyways while my wife gets to sit at home and do her Krav Maga lessons with her private instructor. Even worse: when I get home, I have to sleep on the couch because he’s “too tired” to drive home after so he sleeps in my bed with her

so the nats are above .500, what do we do

@Iam6ixdee Because I’m not afraid of who I am anymore.

Why do mfs put they first and last as they username on socials 😂

@jjjjjonesjjjjj Nope, not normal. I’ve been telling my roommate this for years but he keeps locking it. I’ll keep checking though. Every night. And one day, I’ll get in.

U mean to tell me its not normal to lock your bedroom door at night

@twinkytuff Where else am I supposed to get the news

if ur a grown man on snapchat you should honestly kill urself

@NickyDied @slothy_420 You should check out SpongeBob. He (squidward) is in it.

@jbeefwellingon @slothy_420 Yes (Squidward)

i have got to get my dick sucked

@kingofpotassium Maybe as a start, you could denounce the genocide and stop taking blood money from Israel #SPLITENYAHU

i don’t even know what to say to this

@benadryldoer Imagine a caca barnyard smell…. Ew it smells so bad! Haha gross

imagine a ponderous question

Bryce Harper might be on to something with this toothpaste directly in the mouth strategy. Very unpleasant sensory experience at first, but your mouth does feel a little cleaner. Will continue to see if this holds up.

@corbinmadisonr @jiratickets No it isn’t

@jiratickets Not corporate, but the house where John Wilkes Booth planned his assassination of Abraham Lincoln is now Wok and Roll, a Chinese restaurant and karaoke bar.

does anyone have any more examples of this

@NickyDied @slothy_420 do you like him (squidward)?

@slothy_420 Squidward

@Hazeludw Obsidian

boobs to your mouth name a rock

@polypocketknife My wife’s new boyfriend (idf)

is there a pejorative term for military like what pig is for cops?

@heinefan Either benson Boone or chipmunk sounds (not the movies, like literal chipmunk noises)

guys what would be ur walkup song if you were a baseball player

@Rob2Shifty No it wasn’t

Abraham Lincoln’s assassination was planned at what now is a Chinese restaurant and karaoke bar in D.C.

@DrewVento I thought that was your penis but then I realized it’s your thumb

Cut my thumb, very inconvenient

@UKnoTRo @BauerOutage Buddy, that’s the least weird part of my life. Have you ever done Krav Maga?

@jbeefwellingon @BauerOutage Must be a weird life following accounts of ppl you don’t like to hate.

This Boring Pitch Makes You Unhittable