kc2squared

Okay, now I can die and go Knockin’ on Heaven’s Door.

@mariana057 This joke I cannot handle, bar it.

What’s the difference between a poorly dressed man on a unicycle & a well-dressed man on a bicycle? Attire.

@TheProjectUnity Do not listen to these idiots claiming sunglasses cause sunburn. Not wearing sunglasses can damage your eyes as UV rays are just as bad as they are for skin. A simple UV monitor, such as an Apple Watch, can tell you if the UV rays are becoming stronger.

Okay is anyone else's skin burning way faster than normal in the UK right now? It feels like the sun is far more intense... Even my darker skinned friends are saying they are feeling a new intensity to the sun. But it's only like 21 degrees Celsius... It's weird.

@noyeahobviously Italy, and Aperol, is wasted on people like you with no taste. It’s okay not to like something but to call others performative is rude, childish, and in poor taste.

I spent an entire month in Italy and tried an aperol spritz almost every day at apertivo time and every single time it was disgusting, it is a bad drink, people who say they like it are being performative!

@fegnomagic @_MI__E @grok Yes, I believe that is the correct diagnosis. My stepson has KT syndrome and it affects one of his legs, one of his hands, and his right cheek. There is no treatment or cure.

@_MI__E @grok It’s Klippel-Trenaunay syndrome… the patient will has unilateral limb enlargement subsequent to abnormal venous development and will has varicose veins in unusual location mostly at lateral leg and port wine stains ربنا يشفيها

فتاة جميلة قوية تعاني من تضخم الرجل اليمنى، مانوع هذا المرض يا @grok ؟

@TimHannan @shelcou A King Charles at that.

Being lectured by a King on limits of executive power is where America is right now under Trump.

@mariana057 The Who

When you were a teen...what poster did you have hanging on your bedroom wall? I had Michael Jackson, NKOTB, Sting and Depeche Mode

@KrissBergTweets You’re a 5-year old clown. National Parks are for people with scientific curiosity; i.e., not you. The fact that fauna is of no interest to you only illustrates the depth of your ignorance and arrogance. Sublime is not in your vocabulary. Get educated. Until then, STFU.

Someone explain the allure of Joshua Tree to me like I'm 5. Just judging from the photos this would be a C- state park in Utah or Colorado.

@mariana057 At least you’re stayin’ alive!

I walked into my bedroom, turned on the light, and there was a large picture of Barry Gibb on the bed. Scared the BeeGeeses out of me.

@JoJoFromJerz Is the Pope Catholic?

Is Kash Patel a drunk?

@luiscalleo Jackson Browne, Tender is the Night Bob Seger, Like a Rock Guitarist, Rick Vito

What’s one guitar solo you never skip no matter how many times you’ve heard it?

@ProjectGokuu Good thing for us that he quit being an MD.

Paul Saladino is a board-certified MD who quit after realizing Western medicine was never designed to heal you. On Mike Thurston’s podcast, he revealed 10 "normal" habits you do every day that damage your body, brain, and hormones: 1) Wear Airpods

@DocAtCDI 👍👍

They weren't brainwashed. They chose cruelty over kindness, spectacle over substance, and grievance over governance. Nobody conned them. They wanted exactly what they got: permission to be their worst selves. That's the alarming part.

@jeffgibbstc @rbfrncs Actually, most of the passenger pigeons were killed for sport. Word would go out that they were in the area and men by the dozens would show up to blast them out of the trees where they were roosting. People believed their numbers were infinite. They weren’t.

@kcsquared3 @rbfrncs Well there is some truth to that for buffalo, but I live near where the last flock of a billion passenger pigeons were wiped out and market hunting was the prime driving force. Great Lakes fish and birds fed the growing population of the Eastern US -- for a little while.

This was written in 1879, just a few years before passenger pigeons disappeared from the wild. These people are still out there and they're running our country

@j0ker937 I put leftover pizza back in the box because it’s an easy way to keep it edible.

I can verify this to be true.

@Rainmaker1973 Also called a screwball.

Magnus effect visualized by a tennis ball x.com/fluxfolio_/sta…

Starmer's Toast. JonathanPie.com

@HannahIamthest1 They never wash down pills with water, but swallow them dry. When somebody knocks on a door, it is answered immediately. When people are meeting in their cars at night, they leave the lights on no matter how illegal their activity.

Things I have learned from the movies" Having watched hundreds of movies, they have taught me many things that I would like to share with you today: 1. If being chased through town, you can usually take cover in a passing St Patrick's Day parade - at any time of the year. 2. All beds have special L-shaped top sheets that reach up to armpit level on a woman but only waist level on the man lying beside her. 3. All grocery shopping bags contain at least one stick of French bread. 4. Once applied, lipstick will never rub off - even while scuba diving. 5. The ventilation system of any building is a perfect hiding place. No one will ever think of looking for you in there and you can travel to any other part of the building without difficulty. 6. Should you wish to pass yourself off as a German officer, it will not be necessary to speak the language. A German accent will do. 7. The Eiffel Tower can be seen from any window of any building in Paris. 8. A man will show no pain while taking the most ferocious beating but will wince when a woman tries to clean his wounds. 9. When paying for a taxi, never look at your wallet as you take out a note - just grab one at random and hand it over. It will always be the exact fare. 10. If you lose a hand, it will cause the stump of your arm to grow by 15cm. 11. Mothers routinely cook eggs, bacon and waffles for their family every morning, even though the husband and children never have time to eat them. 12. Cars and trucks that crash will almost always burst into flames. 13. A single match will be sufficient to light up a room the size of a football stadium. 14. Medieval peasants had perfect teeth. 15. All single women have a cat. 16. Any person waking from a nightmare will sit bolt upright and pant. 17. One man shooting at 20 men has a better chance of killing them all than 20 men firing at one. 18. Creepy music coming from a graveyard should always be closely investigated. 19. Most people keep a scrapbook of newspaper cuttings - especially if any of their family or friends has died in a strange boating accident. 20. It does not matter if you are heavily outnumbered in a fight involving martial arts - your enemies will wait patiently to attack you one by one by dancing around in a threatening manner until you have knocked out their predecessor. 21. During a very emotional confrontation, instead of facing the person you are speaking to, it is customary to stand behind them and talk to their back. 22. When you turn out the light to go to bed, everything in your room will still be clearly visible, just slightly bluish. 23. Dogs always know who's bad and will naturally bark at them. 24. When they are alone, all foreigners prefer to speak English to each other. 25. Rather than wasting bullets, megalomaniacs prefer to kill their arch-enemies using complicated machinery involving fuses, pulley systems, deadly gases, lasers and man eating sharks that will allow their captives at least 20 minutes to escape. 26. Having a job of any kind will make all fathers forget their son's eighth birthday. 27. All bombs are fitted with electronic timing devices with large red readouts so you know exactly when they're going to go off. 28. It is always possible to park directly outside the building you are visiting. 29. A detective can only solve a case once he has been suspended from duty. 30. If you decide to start dancing in the street, everyone you bump into will know all the steps.

@HiddenYorkshire Furthermore, your vinyl records are slightly damaged by the stylus every time they are played. Over time, the sound quality of your vinyl records will be degraded.

I'm an anti-vinyl hipster. I can say that because I served my time being 14 and obsessed with collecting records and playing them on my mum's Dansette player, only to realise that I was fooling myself. Unless you're playing them on a very good, high-quality turntable and speakers, in the vast majority of cases there is no way vinyl *actually* sounds better than mp3. It's Emperor's New Clothes. A £££ turntable and speaker set? Okay, now we're talking. But let's be real here, most of your vinyl hipsters are using a terribly tinny HMV portable suitcase turntable and convincing themselves that it's somehow more ~authentic~ than Spotify. Just let it go. It's all about performance and aesthetics. You feel cool handling a record and posting about to Insta, but for actual musical quality, I'll stick with a good pair of headphones and my phone.

@mariana057 Sometimes jokes are actually funnier when you know punchline. 🤣

Jenny’s friend Debbie said she had a sore throat . So Jenny said, “I give a blow job to my husband & the next day I'm better, you should try it.' Next day Debbie comes in singing. 'How did it go?' asks Jenny. 'Great' says Debbie, 'Your husband couldn't believe it was your idea!

@VexArcYT @Chizitere_xyz Neither is your story. If you’re going to correct someone’s story, at least make the effort to Google it first to see if you’re correct. You weren’t.

@Chizitere_xyz All of that story and it just isn't true. The black dots are purely cosmetic and do not do anything to protect the windshield. It's to give a gradient on the glass from where it's attached to the car since it's almost invisible when it's completely clean.

Those black dots literally saved my and my boyfriend's life. We were four hours deep into a road trip through the desert, and the dashboard thermometer was reading a suffocating 112 degrees. My boyfriend, Mark, was driving my car. The AC was blasting at full capacity inside, while the outside of the car was basically baking in a convection oven. Mark was complaining about the glare and pointed at the edge of the windshield. "I don't understand why cars have these stupid black dots all over the edges," he said, tapping the glass. "It just blocks the view." I didn't say anything because I was half asleep. Ten minutes later, that random piece of car trivia became the only reason we didn't end up in an ambulance. We were cruising at 80 mph behind a massive eighteen wheeler when its back right tire violently blew out. A massive, heavy chunk of steel belted rubber the size of a microwave launched into the air and came hurtling directly toward the passenger side of our windshield. There was no time to swerve. The rubber slammed into the top right corner of the glass, right directly on that thick band of black dots, with a deafening *CRACK*. The impact was so violent it shook the entire chassis of the car. Mark slammed on the brakes, pulling us over to the shoulder in a cloud of dust. We sat there, hearts completely hammering in our chests, waiting for the glass to cave in on us. The windshield had a massive, ugly spiderweb fracture spreading from the corner, but the glass stayed entirely intact and firmly glued to the frame. When the tow truck driver finally arrived to get us, he ran his hand over the cracked glass and whistled. "You guys are incredibly lucky," he said, shaking his head. "With the temperature difference today, freezing AC inside, over a hundred degrees outside, the thermal shock alone usually makes these things completely cave in when they take a hit like that. But it hit right on the frit band." Mark looked at him, confused. "The what?" "The black dots," the driver explained, tapping the edge. "They dissipate the heat so the glass doesn't warp, and they protect the adhesive. If this car had a cheap aftermarket windshield without a proper ceramic frit, that impact would have instantly popped the entire pane of glass right out of the frame and right into your laps at 80 miles an hour. That little black border literally held the structural integrity of your car together." Mark went completely pale and looked over at me. I just raised an eyebrow, took a sip of my water, and let the silence hang there. He never complained about the black dots again.