Kevin E. Cleary (Parody)

Ok, so you want to tell me the Ferengi were INSTANTLY ready to adopt dresses with pockets, and we hu-mans are still struggling with that?

Sometimes a sentence cuts right to the heart of the human experience in a profound way.

In Greek mythology, Cassandra was a Trojan princess and prophetess cursed by Apollo to have the "gift" of seeing the future, while he ensured that absolutely no one would believe her warnings. Today, "Cassandra syndrome" describes people whose valid warnings about impending disasters are ignored. To all the Cassandras, I see you and I understand. 😭

still not quite over the fact that i watched 15 year olds get sued for millions of dollars for downloading twelve songs and now we all have to accept AI slop because every tech company in the known universe decided that IP laws don't exist now that they're inconvenient for them

I didn't know Helen of Troy could generate so much conflict.

If you can’t budget $174K to feed your family while also having the best healthcare insurance in the country you have no business setting the budget for our country

Neurodivergents will say “I need rest” but what they actually mean is “I need uninterrupted time where no one expects anything from me”

today on the streetcar the man sitting across from me ended what seemed like an important business call with “well, as snoopy would say: gawrsh!” then he frowned, looked at me, mouthed “goofy?”, I nodded, then he said “I’m just being goofy!” and hung up, and gave me a thumbs up

If you, as an adult in my circles, turned up at an event or dinner party with an under 18 year old date, you'd be considered a creep and never invited again. You'd probably be asked to leave immediately. It would be so monumentally not acceptable. All these men online going 'it's normal to be attracted to 15 year olds' are suss af.

Sometimes the first evidence that you were deeply harmed in a relationship is not how you react to abuse, but how overwhelmed you feel when someone is finally kind to you. I remember once, when everything was falling apart, I went into a gas station and dropped something, spilling it all over the floor. I was barely in my body, self-conscious and trying to process confusion, abandonment and grief and this stranger simply said, “Oh my gosh, it’s okay. Let me help you.” I was so accustomed to eye rolls, contempt, shaming and being called names that his kindness caught me off guard, and I remember my face getting hot. I got to my car and completely broke down crying, flooded with emotions, not because dropping something was a big deal, but because his softness toward me was. That is what psychological abuse does. It does not just teach you to expect cruelty. It teaches your body not to know what to do with kindness, because when you have been trained to expect punishment, mockery, contempt or emotional abandonment, even a stranger saying “it’s okay” can feel almost unbearable, like your body just found water after years of crawling through the dust and it simply doesn’t know how to absorb it.

Mike Johnson making a strong case that minimum wage starts at 174k/yr

If I already have diarrhea, I’ll go and eat Taco Bell because you can’t get diarrhea twice at the same time.

I bet y'all ain't laughing at the Amish anymore.. they clickity, clackin right past the gas station.

I think some neurodivergent people became perfectionists because mistakes were treated like character flaws instead of human experiences.

Chaucer was believed to be a rapist based off of one legal document, and feminist scholars used this info in their critical analyses of his works. Just a few years ago, a NEW (medieval) legal document, that was found in a salt mine (???), cleared his name.

my favourite thing is when you stop petting a dog, and he puts his paw on you like "we're not done here"

My hot take is US Senators should be paid whatever their states minimum wage is. That’s how you represent your constituents, you live like them.

Kids these days probably don’t even know how to make micro-adjustments to their font sizes and page margins. Back in my day, half the fun was figuring out whether you could turn a 9-pager into a 10-pager without the teacher realizing you set Times New Roman to 12.3 pt.

Neurodivergent’s be so gifted and talented at literally everything except for things that make money.