K Woodland

@StephenMcGann This is Billy he likes to remind us that he wants food as well....

@history99917180 🤭 the boss will never know. famous last words .. oh trust me she will after a few cups it will be ‘something tastes off.’

Gareth’s husband tips #22 I ordered the wrong teabags. Sam likes Yorkshire Gold. Bugger. Never fear, transfer the normal Yorkshire teabags into the Yorkshire Gold teabags box. Then discard the normal teabag box. The boss will never know. Genius.

@mandyandy551 @history99917180 I’m sort of with your wife on this one .. Sorry, sort of.. 😬

@history99917180 It’s not all about you Gareth!!😂😂

Right, you know how you all think my wife is the clever one. Well, try this. Sam ‘Make me a brew and I’ll find a good film to watch’ Me ‘ok, but I’m not watching anything with that Reacher bloke in it’ 10 minutes later, Sam ‘I’ve found a film’ Me, ‘FFS’

@history99917180 Nothing like this happened then.. 🤭

Had lots of feedback after this post. I’d just like to clarify that despite appointing myself the captain I wasn’t actually allowed to drive the ship. I wasn’t actually allowed to touch anything important. I basically spent all day stood at the front pretending I was Kate Winslet

@history99917180 Billy relaxing in a lap ..

Morning all. How many points does Jonesy score on the cuteness scale?

@FeeandpetePeter @history99917180 Ok so that’s the boys view. Now Mrs W’s , so slightly curious, what was wrong weak story line , ?

@kit_x @history99917180 Avoid for the sake of your sanity

Watching a film with the boss. Me ‘this is pants’ Sam ‘I know, but it’s the chap who plays Reacher so we’ll stick with it’ Me ‘righto’

@history99917180 @FeeandpetePeter I need Mrs W’s view please. As it’s on my watch list. please check with her is it worth the couple of hours or not? 🤷🏼‍♀️

@FeeandpetePeter Nope. War Machine. It’s proper pants.

@kit_x Best answer 🤣

I give away house plants at work quite frequently. A colleague asked me last week: "You gave me this (nearly impossible to kill) plant a while ago. It has died. I really want the big one in the (work) staircase window now." "But you killed one." "That was small. The big one will be fine." What would you do?

@dyson123 @HeldinEU I have one indoor plant a peace Lily, I honestly don’t know how it’s survived every time I think it needs re potting it throws out some flowers.. 🤷🏼‍♀️

@HeldinEU @kit_x If they are anything like me they will end up killing that too. I managed to somehow. Sadly I have had to resign myself to the fact that I am not an indoor plant person.

@history99917180 We used to have a beautiful ginger cat like Jonesy, ours was called Rhubarb. Much loved and such a wonderful natured cat.. x

4 years ago this little fella was found abandoned in a barn in a very desperate state. Sam went to his rescue and admitted it was touch and go as he was so very ill. Well, after lots of love, attention & mischievous behaviour we think he’s done ok. Happy birthday Jonesy.

@history99917180 You do realise that mum might spend every thing before the reading of the Will.. 😉

Bit of good news. We got to see mums Will today. I was still in it. Result. Off to look for a new kitchen. Happy news.

@history99917180 Look, I didn’t say this right. But just buy some and stash them somewhere that no one else is going to look.. chocolate in a box of bran flakes works for me. 😉

Request for help* The boss won’t let me eat mini rolls at home. Hence why my mum let me scoff them when I visited her on Tuesdays. So, I’m looking for anyone who will accommodate me on a Tuesday so I can devour mini rolls. I’m house trained. And we can talk tachographs.

@history99917180 Dear Lord you like living close to the edge..

I’m in bother again lads. Mrs W’s car insurance renewal has arrived. Sam ‘crikey, it’s gone down by almost £70. They obviously know I’m a safe driver’ Me ‘couldn’t possibly because you’re getting old’? Mrs W,

@history99917180 Safest.. buy them all ..

We’re going out. Mrs W is trying on shoes. Brown flats - match her blouse, but not her hair. Black flats - match her trousers but not her hair. Pink heels - look great but Mrs thinks they look a bit too slutty (I like them!) Wish me luck.

@history99917180 I hope you don’t mind me pointing out you’ve miss spelt stable Lad .. 😉

See, I’m more than just a good looking trophy husband. I’m also a stable god.

@history99917180 😂😂

I’m in bother lads. I’m at the horse yard. I’m currently the only bloke here with 11 horse ladies. Lady ‘be careful when you go into the field, there are two very stroppy mares playing up’ Me ‘horses or owners’? Horse ladies,

@history99917180 Hope your mum had a lovely birthday.. did you get her a cake, after all she buys you lots of cakes/biscuits..

It’s my mums birthday today. Happy birthday from your favourite boy. Before you ask, that really cute baby is me. I’ve not changed much.

*Tesco order update* I have completed an early morning trip to the village shop.

@jk_rowling @scrumpyh3 Phew, I know I’m by 62 but I have some Disney ones I like wearing round the house .. please don’t judge .😊

@scrumpyh3 The skateboard rule doesn’t apply to women.

I fear this might be my most controversial take ever, but I agreed to put it to a vote so here we are. Hoodies should only be worn by men young enough not to look silly carrying a skateboard.

@Christi62204082 @history99917180 @SamRaincock I’m actually from Somerset but my ancestors were from Devon .. so for me Devon clotted cream teas ..👌🏼perfect

@history99917180 @kit_x @SamRaincock Nooooo only the Cornish way is right! The jam first acts as glue for the cream you heathen 😡

I am getting some practice in for the summer….