lukefromthemoon

I suffered a stroke thingy about 4 years ago and as a result I mess up my words now, that and I'm a monger.

@Dead_wth @grok What about FOT?

Hey @grok make her from FAT to Fit !!

@willjreading1 @beehaber If you’re Cornish this is proper way of saying it

@beehaber it's 'WHERE?', not 'where to'

Matthew Perry, Friends’in son şakasını özellikle istediğini anlatmıştı: 🔹 “Friends’in finalinde son repliği ben almak istedim.” 🔹 “Bunun Chandler’a yakışacağını düşündüm.” 🔹 “Ekip Monica’nın boş dairesinden çıkıyordu.” 🔹 “Rachel, ‘Kahve içelim mi?’ diye sordu.” 🔹 “Ben de sadece ‘Nereye?’ dedim.” 🔹 “Yıllarca Central Perk’e giden biri için tam Chandler şakasıydı.” 🔹 “Diziyi kuru bir espriyle kapatmak istedim.” 🔹 “Son şakanın Chandler’dan gelmesi doğru hissettirdi.”

@fesshole Someone is doing alright for themselves

Had an early job interview in Central London which was done by midday. Had several hours before my train, so did a solo mini-pub crawl. Best day out I've had in ages.

That hair was amazing #24hoursinpolicecustody

@claireztweets Is that a black n white pic?!

Fb never fails

@liamgallagher @graceyldn We all like figgy pudding

To whom it may concern MC VITIES FIG ROLLS aka THE FiGGY ONE the last couple of packets I’ve purchased there’s been biscuits missing 3 in each lane only 2 some times now 1 sort it out there’s a thief on the loose IM SERIOUS

@camiknickers Can I wear my shell suit?

@stephaniemain2 Gin

Oh vodka for me...what's yours?

@Argyle Does he still shop at Asda?

We're delighted to have Argyle legend Ronnie Mauge with us this afternoon! 💚 Our Wembley goalscorer in '96 met with Tom Cleverley and Kevin Nancekivell. 🤝

@fesshole Probably easier to give up too

At the weekend, I sat my wife and kids down and confessed to my crippling gambling addiction. I've never gambled in my life, but it's a explains where all our money has went a little better than my regular escort and powder binges.

@NOT_MOTD Erm Rooney Erm erm Can’t say a sentence without saying erm

Which pundit would you happily get rid of forever? 🤔

@liamgallagher @parklief That made me do a lol

@parklief Mmm Betty the cat did a whoopsie

if you showed my 2023 self this picture he would not survive

@WarrenNolan @JokesWithMark Really good dude

@lukefromthemoon @JokesWithMark Was he good mate? He can argue

@JokesWithMark saw you at St Austell tonight, I have some feedback on how you can make a joke work better

@Mafer1ck Nutkin?

Who's your favourite Terry?

@pourmeavino @timefortwatter Wahaha!

@timefortwatter I went on a date and the dude said his favourite kink is to rub those bad boys on his japs eye

Salt and vinegar Discos are fucking brutal on yer tongue!! But they're sooooo good 😁😁

@clumsyoaf33 I would say it needs it in it

Cauliflower cheese is not just cauliflower with cheese grated on the top. I wish pubs would stop bloody serving it like this…IT NEEDS CHEESE SAUCE ON IT AND CHEESE!! 🧀

I don’t like the sound of drones

@mrliamdurkin Cornwall is a long way

Is she calling on one of these? #popmaster

She’s my mate #popmaster