Mike Danford

@Nigel_Farage Is there enough ‘fuck the fuck off’ available in the English language to make this man actually just fuck off?

This fantastic Fish and Chip shop in my constituency has been shortlisted for a national award. 🐟

@fesshole TBF, given the right context in our current political climate, ‘pigs and troughs’ is quite appropriate. Remember, all animals are equal, but some animals are more equal than others.

Just found out its "peaks and troughs" and not "pigs and troughs" im 39 years old

@automattic @silverlake_news @wpengine It’s Open Source. No matter what you think or expect @photomatt , it’s Open Source.

Earlier this week, private-equity firm @SilverLake_news and @WPEngine filed yet another document with the court, filled with cherry-picked, out-of-context statements and unfounded allegations–all in an attempt to distract from the reality of their factually and legally unsupported narrative.

@ThatEricAlper A friend has a sausage dog called Richmond and a cocker spaniel called Jarvis. (Probably have to be UK-based to get either of them).

Whats the funniest name for a pet you've had or heard of?

@photomatt @BoweFrankema I don't see the usefulness of collecting this particular dataset. Unless, of course...

@BoweFrankema Metrics and dashboards are useful! I will say the current version isn’t our best work look for some updates in coming days.

@bushontheradio I particularly like the history of the saying 'on tenterhooks'.

Do you know someone like this?

@NoContextBrits Weetabix before - crumbs everywhere no matter how careful you try to be. Left over Weetabix in a bowl - fuck you, put the dishwasher on the nuclear setting for all I care - I’m not moving one motherfucking inch.

The four horsemen of leaving bastard crumbs everywhere.

@wibblewibble1 @anon_opin So you’ve not heard of regenerative braking then?

@anon_opin No engine braking on long downhills. No thanks.

Manual cars were cool in the 80s when automatics were shite, but in the EV age they're as fiddly and dated as a steam traction engine.

@elonmusk @elonmusk That is not a Freudian Slip. Quite the opposite really if what you are suggesting is true.

Freudian slip

@vortse @NoContextBrits It is isn’t it?

@NoContextBrits For a moment, I thought this was the same place.

@FlappySocks @zverevart @JeremyClarkson I do not dispute that. I was merely correcting your original post as it was disingenuous.

Farmers. I know that you have been shafted today. But please don’t despair. Just look after yourselves for five short years and this shower will be gone.

@AMAZlNGNATURE Whatever he tells me to call him.

If you had him what would you name him?

@anon_opin So where does 'And Now For Something Completely Different' sit then? I mean, it *is* a film but...

Can we agree that, with Monty Python, the movies were sublime genius but the TV show was mostly misses with a few hits?

@anon_opin Just like cheese - very finely sliced is best, then grated, then hacked off chunks.

Apples taste better when sliced, as opposed to bitten into.

@ThatEricAlper A sausage dog called Richmond. They also have a Cocker called Jarvis.

What’s the most hilarious name you’ve heard someone give to their pet?

@29Crown @russty_russ I was in a public gym on a spin bike when I saw that episode (listening on headphones) and laughed embarrassingly loudly.

@russty_russ I remember watching this. Hilarious. Up there with 'fillet o' fish' as a kind of ache.

@beebearninja @jodywakelin @anon_opin I thought it was until about the third mouthful then it became too much – happy with just salt and vinegar on my chips.

@m_danford @jodywakelin @anon_opin It's lovely.

Breadcrumbed fish is far superior to battered fish.

@jodywakelin @anon_opin And that weird chicken salt they put on their chips – WTAF.

@anon_opin Odds on you’re an Aussie …. They just don’t get it… don’t even start me on burgers with the lot….

@anon_opin He's not singing about teenage angst, he is singing about his current angst. I Can Never Say Goodbye is about his dead older brother. And he cant really change all the lyrics to the back catalogue can he?

I love The Cure but for Robert Smith to still be cutting about with the smeared lippy and mad hairdo, singing about teenage angst at the age of 93 or whatever he is, is a bit of a cringe.