Colonel Manslaper

Brian Cox jets into Edinburgh tomorrow to speak at a sparsely attended rally for Scottish independence. Brian loves Scotland, but he just can’t bear the thought of actually living here. Don’t worry Brian, the BA to Heathrow leaves at 17.55.

Got to 37 #Labour failures and U-turns so far: 1. Chagos Islands deal costing £39 billion 2. Two-child benefit cap rebellion 3. Lord Alli donations and freebies scandal 4. Broken manifesto promise on taxes including Council Tax 5. Summer riots and two-tier policing allegations 6. Starmer's "far-right bandwagon" remarks 7. Civil service cronyism appointments 8. Taylor Swift concert security and tickets 9. Winter fuel allowance cuts 10. Early prisoner release scheme 11. Sue Gray's resignation 12. Louise Haigh's resignation over fraud 13. Farmers' protests over inheritance tax changes 14. Highest 30-year gilt yields since 1998 15. Flatlined economic growth 16. Inflation rise 17. Tulip Siddiq's resignation over corruption 18. U-turn on definition of "woman" 19. Non-Doms tax changes cost revenue 20. Private school VAT cost revenue 21. Tax breaks for Indian workers in trade deal 22. U-turn on grooming gangs inquiry 23. U-turn on "island of strangers" remarks 24. Loss of Commons control and rebel suspensions 25. U-turn on disabled welfare cuts 26. Rachel Reeves cries in Commons 27. Peter Kyle accuses Farage of siding with Savile 28. Rushanara Ali's resignation 29. Angela Rayner's tax avoidance allegations 30. Record small boat crossings 31. Free speech disasters 32. Highest global millionaire emigration 33. Off-track housing targets 34. Islamophobia definition 35. Andrew Gwynne's sacking over racist and sexist comments 36. Bridget Philipson capitulating to education unions to the detriment of children 37. Refusing to allow the USAF to refuel at RAF bases and then reversing the decision 2 days later.

BREAKING: Thousands of Muslim jihadis are on their way to the Christian town of Al-Suqaylabiyah, Syria, following yesterday’s pogrom. They are hunting for Christian blood and want to commit a massacre. It’s crazy how little the world cares about Christians in the Middle East.

I think there's a complete collapse of confidence in the Labour government They are corrupt, they are liars and they are completely in over their heads Nothing good can happen until they are gone Oh ! That's the door bell ! Must be the police

“Let’s spend £4.5 trillion on net zero over the next 25 years. Let’s increase taxes to pay for net zero. Let’s ban new oil and gas licences in the North Sea but spaff away £40billion buying North Sea oil and gas from Norway. Let’s buy coking coal shipments worth £7.2million from Japan but ban UK coal mining. Let’s plaster thousands of acres of farmland with solar panels but spend £50million on sun dimming experiments. Let’s give huge renewable energy construction contracts to China. Lets fail to improve gas storage facilities, Let’s give Drax an estimated £1.8billlion in taxpayer funded subsidies on top of the £11billion it has already received despite Drax burning an amount of wood equivalent to 300 million trees. Let’s give £1billion this year alone to wind power companies not to generate power from their wind turbines. And let’s spend £30billion of taxpayers’ money on carbon capture machines but put pensioners, farmers and the disabled into financial peril by claiming there’s a £22bn black hole.”

Muslims in the UK are now creating their own security firms to patrol THEIR communities. Soon they will introduce Sharia Law.

Let this sink in. A Downing Street‑issued phone, used by Keir Starmer’s then chief of staff, is snatched in central London. Police logs show No 10 made no attempt to recover it, no approach to the Met’s specialist units, no MI5, no GCHQ – nothing. Now the ICO says it wasn’t told either, despite guidance to report any serious loss of personal data. If a Tory government had done this, Labour would be screaming ‘national security scandal’ on every channel.

They are allowed to burn 19 Yazidi girls but I’m not allowed to talk about it because it is considered Islamophobia.

@MrBonMot @NickPullen5 . You've never had it do good...

@manslaper @NickPullen5 I remember when I was a tearaway teenager running through corn fields with some lass called Theresa. Hearing a song on my transistor radio by a pop group called the Fly's. How Theresa and I laughed as we ran bare foot through the corn. Of course now I condone such behaviour.

Do people who call radio stations to request a song know about the internet?

. Here's an idea. Stop all HS2 work immediately. This pointless project will just eat more money and will never really work. HS2 tasked with reducing cost to taxpayers and speed up completion share.google/hMhcRIsngecVNe…

. If I was cynical I'd say this report is just a warm up so there's an excuse for Reeves and Starmer economic failures. BBC News - UK facing biggest hit to growth from Iran war out of G20 economies - BBC News bbc.co.uk/news/articles/…

@MrBonMot @NickPullen5 . You are a rocker, aren't you. Sorry, this station is strictly pop music, so here's an old favourite, 'The Flies Crawled Up the Window" by Jack Hulbert. Lovely.

@NickPullen5 Hello I'm a bit nervous I'm a first time caller and I don't get out much Have you got a record by that nice Harry Seacombe?

4 White British girls were sexually assaulted by 18 migrants over the course of 24 hours and the media says nothing. Do you get it yet

🚨And there you have it. Lindsay Hoyle misled the house by omitting the fact that he has the power to pause proceedings and ask the prime minister to answer the question. He was quite happy to do this with Boris, but he REFUSES to do it with Keir Starmer. Absolute disgrace.

More examples of the Speaker, Lindsay Hoyle, reminding Boris to answer the question put forward to him. There’s no excuse for allowing Keir Starmer to evade every question time and time again during #PMQs

Is This Plausible? I am Morgan Macsweeney I am Chief Of Staff to the Prime Minister of Great Britain and Northern Ireland I hold a top-secret security clearance I own a mobile phone I use this phone to conduct Government Business I use this phone to message with Lord Mandelson My phone is tracked by GCHQ There are protocols for officials using personal phones to conduct Government business My communications are monitored to ensure they are not intercepted My phone is "stolen" a month after Lord Mandelson is sacked The police do not investigate The phone is not tracked down The police are too busy to track down the phone the most senior member of the Prime Minister's team - someone with a top-secret security clearance I do not contact my service provider to block the stolen phone I do not consider asking GCHQ to do this as a national security priority I do not ask for a replacement sim I do not buy a new phone I do not activate my new phone with the new sim I do not log-in to my Google account I do not select "Restore" I do not download WhatsApp I do not recover my messages Nobody, ever, who had their phone stolen was ever able to get their messages back. @UKLabour @Keir_Starmer DO YOU THINK WE ARE ALL STUPID? It is the cover-up that will take you down

🇬🇧 Shocking that Labour MP & ironically former anti-corruption minister Tulip Siddiq STILL hasn't been sent back to Bangladesh to serve her prison sentence It's also unacceptable that she STILL sits in parliament - voting on laws we have to follow DEPORT & LOCK HER UP 🇬🇧

Labour just voted to block North Sea drilling while energy prices surge. Blocking Rosebank & Jackdaw isn’t climate policy—it’s economic self-harm. Utter stupidity. express.co.uk/news/politics/…

In 2003 Keir Starmer won the case that gave illegal migrants access to UK benefits. Twenty three years later, we’re living in the chaos he created. Don’t forget that!

The Jackdaw gas field in the North Sea could be up and running in just a few months. Enough gas to heat 1.6 million homes. Every single drop will go into our pipes. Ed Miliband is blocking it. Madness.