mike sacks

Your porn name is the combination of you having a shitty childhood and not many prospects in Hollywood

Haven’t dated in a good long while but is “Won’t you lay me down in the tall grass and let me do my stuff” no longer an inappropriate “come on” line?

If I had to do it again, I would not have named my restaurant The Wuhan Wet Market

@fringeblog Thank you, Jeremiah!

@michaelbsacks Amazing story, Mike, congrats on the win!

@MobtownDare @Orioles Love this! @Orioles

They are always very good to us here Luv u @Orioles

“Responsibility To Our Shareholders” could very well be the tombstone epitaph for all of humanity

I pitched working on the Ocean City Maryland boardwalk for a summer to then write about it for the Washington Post. They said it was too "stunt like." I still think it'd be fun. Return to my retail roots.

Yeah, I know, I know. We need to save money. But, honey, it was absolutely imperative that I purchase this! It'll hold change and stuff! Isn't it simply marvelous?!

I’ll sleep when I’m dead. Also, tonight at 10:45.

@oriolesrager @ryanripkenshow Wow. Never seen that before

@michaelbsacks @ryanripkenshow Sun for the second basemen

Not every day you see a 3rd baseman start a double play with a bounce pass.

Pretty happy with my new author's photo

Super fun times on @JetBlue

This week 20,000 pigs burned to death in a factory farm fire in Ontario. They haven't let photographers inside. But here's what another pig factory farm looked like after it burned. It's hard to imagine the suffering of these intelligent, sensitive animals — trapped, without any means of escape or hope of help, as the flames engulfed them. It's harder to imagine the greed of an industry too cheap to even install sprinkler systems.

This guy. Jesus.

Funny Letters From Summer Camp and Their Not So Funny Responses mcsweeneys.net/articles/funny…