James May

@airmainengineer Pretending it isn’t happening.

Can you guess what they are doing?✈️

@NJExecutive @VerminusM Yous was directed at me, and you called me a POS. I’m not responsible for other people.

@MrJamesMay @VerminusM Really weird you jumped on my response, but said nothing about the absolutely vile antisemitic responses It’s as if mine was worse🙄 Right.

Jews are great at science, business, entertainment and, as we learned in the last 80 years, war. What are some things Jews are not good at?

@Dave9876543 @VerminusM They’re the ones in weird hats eating bagels.

@MrJamesMay @VerminusM Out of interest, how do you determine which of your mates are Jewish?

@NJExecutive @VerminusM That was parody, you nobber.

@MrJamesMay @VerminusM Even here, an anti- Jewish trope. “Jews are cheap” You can’t help yourself. You can’t even see it.

@MattJParlour Yes.

@MrJamesMay would you oblige me with a "sod off" on my birthday today?

@luxemiaa I have been with the same woman for 25 years. During the first of those, she ate a fruit cake that my mum had made for me. I mention it most days.

and asked where his KitKat was. I confessed immediately. That was 13 years ago. We’ve now been married for 10 years, and he still brings it up like I committed a serious betrayal. Any time I mention trust, he says, “Trust? You ate my KitKat.” I have apologized many times. Apparently some wounds heal slowly, and some are wrapped in red foil and kept in the refrigerator.

My husband bought two KitKats one day. One was for him and one was for me. I ate mine immediately because that is what happens when you give me chocolate and expect patience. He put his in the fridge and then left the next day for a two-week work trip. That KitKat sat in the fridge the entire time he was gone. Every time I opened the refrigerator, it was there staring at me. I held out for several days because I am a supportive wife and I respect personal property. But sometime during week two, my self-control gave up. I ate it. I fully intended to replace it before he got home, but of course I forgot. So when he returned from his trip, he opened the fridge, looked around for two seconds, and.........

@RickFlare145851 Stop following me if you find me boring and irrelevant. It’s why I don’t follow you.

@MrJamesMay After enjoying you on tv for so long you are rapidly becoming somewhat of an irrelevant bore. Even the 'Reassembler' was more interesting than your tweets😐

I’ve just boarded a flight from London to the US. I checked my boarding pass and headed to my seat, fully expecting it to be occupied by an entitled woman claiming to need it so she could be near her kids, giving me the essential elements of an indignant social media post. But no. The seat was empty. No entitled woman claiming to need it so she could be near her kids, giving me the essential elements of an indignant social media post. Empty. Unoccupied. I sat down. The delightful stewardess brought me a drink. Sometimes in life oh do fuck off.

@BudeJim Congratulations.

@MrJamesMay Flight Attendant

@MorganStarr89 It’s always a woman in the various versions I’ve read.

@MrJamesMay What about an entitled man? 🤷🏼‍♀️

@JoSentjens Yes, tee bee dee.

@MrJamesMay Is it also going to get an elaborate painting scheme?

Flemish single-manual harpsichord after Ruckers project update: glued overnight, unclamped, square. Note work beginning on preparation of tailpiece for fixing. Bentside out of shot. More news as it happens, folks. Please be patient. I know you’re excited.

@wood_nogood Oak, lime, spruce.

@MrJamesMay And again I ask for the species of wood you are using.

@Etsphonebill I’ve been waiting for that comment.

@MrJamesMay Gotta blast some stranglers golden brown when complete..

@jewishwarriors It’s a Paris Workshop kit.

@MrJamesMay Is this from a kit or are you making it from scratch?

@MichaelJPryce @James_Merion @Hush_Kit How could the M52 carry enough fuel?

@James_Merion @MrJamesMay @Hush_Kit The air intake was probably going to scupper it. It gets a brief mention in my book, before the UK went with a Nazi scientist's idea and created the EE Lightning. penguin.co.uk/books/468411/j…

Delete one aircraft from history

@James_Merion @Hush_Kit I don’t really believe the popular version of the story. I don’t see how the M52 could have worked.

@MrJamesMay @Hush_Kit I'd delete the historical decision that saw it given to the Americans. I have huge respect for Chuck Yeager, but it should've been us.

@dorsetforever Will do.

@MrJamesMay I always like to be ignored. There is a lot to be said for it. (So please ignore this, it will make my day if you ignore me too)

I went to a lovely village fete today, and there was a fish ‘n’ chip van, so I had a large cod and chips. My missus ‘didn’t want any’, but then, of course, proceeded to eat around 40 per cent of my chips. Also, two random women simply walked up and helped themselves to some, as if that was perfectly acceptable. How much longer must men put up with this? How do we know how much food to buy? If you run a chips-adjacent food outlet, how do you know how much to serve to a bloke when there are obvious women present? Of course, I’m happy to share with the frail, fainting flower of womanhood, because what’s mine is hers first. We are men, and our duty is to provide and, ultimately, defend, even unto death. But this is about chips, and boundaries are important. Sisters: it’s OK to like chips. It’s OK to want some. We know you do.

@The_Real_Gonzo You have been abused.

@MrJamesMay I agree, I used to say to my Wife and Son do you want a freshly made ring donut covered in sugar, the reply was always no. I bought my usual av of 10 and then they wanted one, we would fall out when I said I didn’t buy 11 or 12 I bought just 10 for me. It’s not acceptable