Devin 

Kids are basically reverse Roombas

Every Winter Olympic event could be renamed “careful it’s slippery”

[seeing anyone after googling something you didn’t know five minutes ago]: hello you ignorant piece of shit

@emkeeyzer I will always love this

Just remembering the greatest slide in the history of slides

@meliburgh Don’t see a message but just dm’d

hear me out: slot machines but when you win big it hugs you and tells you it’s proud of you

@chelbb_ @360i Yesssss congrats! We love the fish!

Big news i think I'm making pasta for dinner ┳┻| ┻┳| ┳┻| ┻┳| ┳┻| ┻┳| ┳┻| _ ┻┳| •.•) oh also I've been promoted to ┳┻|⊂ﾉ Social Strategist at @360i, still owning ┻┳| SPK work but now Swedish Fish as well :)

@milkglutton_ They’re scared of how powerful you’ll be

i keep getting close to having 1400 followers and then i lose like five or six very suddenly and i just want to say: i get it

haunt implies the existence of huncle

I will once again remind anyone who has written a line of code: You are literally a wizard. You have use a strange language to entice a rock filled with electricity to do your bidding. We speak to golems.

@emkeeyzer Honestly all the time

Do you guys ever think about how wild it is that lava exists?

BEWARE: As Halloween gets closer, parents need to make sure to LOOK at your child’s candy. Some people are giving out what looks like normal candy, but turns out to be Bit-O-Honey.

oh and this one!

@roxiqt Thank you!

Do you think a depressed person could make this?

@roxiqt Well you’ve officially made my day that’s high praise 🙂

@roxiqt I did!

pain

Stop 👏🏻 letting 👏🏻ghosts 👏🏻wear sheets 👏🏻that’s 👏🏻why 👏🏻sheets are 👏🏻so 👏🏻expensive 👏🏻because 👏🏻of 👏🏻high 👏🏻ghost 👏🏻demand

“Miffta whurlwhidde”

Pitbull ft. A Mouthful of Saltines