Penny Blackburn

@FelixLongbrook @BlokeFromCas @JHCPAL Cuddy by Benjamin Myers is a brilliant novel if you get chance to read it.

@BlokeFromCas @JHCPAL Kirkcudbright, in Dumfries and Galloway, is named in his honour. It translates to Cuthbert's Chapel. His remains were moved there from Lindisfarne before later being transferred to Durham.

Happy St Cuthbert's Day to all in, and from, the ancient Kingdom of Northumbria.

@WG_RumblePants Nasser is my favourite. When I listen, it sounds like he still feels every ball. Just something about him feels 100 percent genuine ❤️

I know many people miss the sound of Richie’s voice on commentary. He’s probably still widely regarded as the best tv cricket commentator. But, if Richie remains at #1, who would you put at #2? I’m genuinely interested to see who people pick. Radio commentators need not apply!

@JoannaCannon Also: the episode finishes once the murderer confesses and there is no more Important Detectiving to do. While in real life they know people recant confessions and they continue to investigate to get the actual evidence that will be valid in court 🙄

Not dealing with my emotions has also stolen my ability to read (no concentration) or sleep for any length of time, so I have taken to watching ENDLESS British crime dramas. The mandatory opening scene is a chaotic family breakfast, featuring at least one person staring furtively at their scrambled eggs for Reasons Unknown. The cast needs to include Martin Clunes, or James Hannah (or both) and Nicola Walker, and a nice woman who used to be in Casualty, but you can’t remember her name, so you have to pause and look it up. The body is always found by a dog walker. Someone also has to vomit at this point (either the dog walker or a policeman fresh out of policeman school, either will do). The cast needs to include an eccentric pathologist, an enthusiastic but naïve junior detective, and a desk sergeant who knows more than he’s letting on. The main detective must have sketchy coping strategies and constantly argue with their boss, but rather than getting them sacked, this attitude somehow makes them better at solving crimes. There is a lot of car door slamming, and people are in such a rush to catch murderers, they never say goodbye to each other on the telephone. It’s also almost always set at the sea side, because you can conveniently throw things into the sea, like mobile telephones and murder weapons. The sea also provides ample opportunity for yet more furtive staring. At some point, the detective will need to consult a retired policeman who, quite fortuitously, remembers every single detail from a case he never solved in 1973. People stare out of windows and draw arrows on whiteboards. Then, just when everything seems hopeless, the eccentric pathologist rings at some ungodly hour of the morning with a break through, we discover the murderer didn’t clean their car boot out properly, and something the detective hasn’t been able to ‘quite put their finger on’ since episode two suddenly makes sense and they finally decide share it with the rest of us. The closing episode usually involves a tense car chase, lots of confrontation and shouting (usually in a multi-story car park or a disused warehouse), but finally we can all rest easy because the murderer is caught (and it’s never, ever the furtive starer). Please God let my reading mojo come back soon or I will lose my ACTUAL MARBLES. *watches another one*

The Thing (1982) recreated with Pingu. A crossover that never stops being funny.

@andrewswalks Pitch looks a disgrace. Need to have a word with the ground team 😐

Herdwick United six-a-side team - two at the back, three in midfield and one up front

@womensart1 There was an exhibition at the Bowes Museum a few years ago which featured this painting. It was wonderful to see it in real life 😊

"My illustrious lordship, I'll show you what a woman can do." -Artemisia Gentileschi (1593-1653) Italian artist #InternationalWomensDay

A cartoon reminder that tomorrow is World Book Day (In the UK anyway). Originally for @GuardianBooks

@siobhanworld Terrible. She needs to be grounded until she learns 😶

Going to Lakeside in my daughter’s car. I picked up her keys and said ‘I’ve got the key’. She replied ‘thanks’ and I now realise I have failed as a mother.

@kobylka @AdamHighcliffe Multi Academy Trusts

@AdamHighcliffe One question - what are these “MATs”? Not a well-known acronym, and Google brings up lots of doormat products.

🚨 Schools reform: what just happened? 🚨 This is a colossal reform of education, not just SEND. But beyond the headlines, 3 themes are emerging. 1. The can is being kicked well into the 2030s. 2. A battle is coming over SEND. 3. This is a plan for MATs. Brace yourselves... 🧵

@GraemePeacock1 Wallington's gorgeous crocus lawn ❤️

An Up North orchestral chorus of crocuses. But where ?? :)

@WG_RumblePants Nice tea shops in Cockington 🫖

Today’s beautiful cricket ground is Cockington Court in Devon

Thanks to @NationalGallery and their loan to South Shields Museum and Art Gallery (@NE_Museums) I got to see Monet's version of a grey river in winter as well as our own Tyneside version. Monet's looked a bit more scenic and with a slightly less freezing wind blowing over it 😄

@IronGeek100 @anon_opin Sorry, I took it a bit literally 😄

@penbee8 @anon_opin I want the points. I also want them to bring my food. 😀 I use the app for the drive though. I also was trying to be a little funny 😀

What is the table service in McDonalds about? Queue for your meal like normal people. You're in McDonalds, not fucking Carluccio's.

@Sockpuppetacts @danielgoyal @gibbsy66 Personally, I'm now the shadow Booker Prize winner 🙂

@danielgoyal @gibbsy66 Since yusuf can call himself shadow home secretary when he’s not even elected Im going to call myself shadow Man Utds centre forward

Jenrick as the chancellor Braverman as the education secretary Yusuf as the home secretary Seriously, I’m starting to believe this is all some elaborate psychological experiment testing how ridiculous politicians can behave and still maintain support!

@IronGeek100 @anon_opin I go every few weeks with a group of students and I've used the screen to order and never used the app. Honestly, you don't have to 🙂

@penbee8 @anon_opin Yas but you have an account that you scan on the screen. So you link to the app.

@IronGeek100 @anon_opin You don't need to use the app. Just order on the screen without it. Or go up to the counter and order direct. Both are fine 🙂

@anon_opin Fuck that. If they are making me use their app. They can bring my food.

@WistfulCass @JesmondLibrary @swanwickwriters Yes but not very active 😄 I think I'm penny.blackburn.5

@penbee8 @JesmondLibrary @swanwickwriters 😘 Hope all is well Penny. Are you on Instagram?

This clever poetic summary of Rebecca by Daphne du Maurier was written by @penbee8 for Jesmond Library’s #Book2Poem January challenge.

@WistfulCass @JesmondLibrary @swanwickwriters Only a few months to go! 😄

@JesmondLibrary @penbee8 Sounds fantastic Penny 😘 Looking forward to meeting up again at @swanwickwriters x

@bernese02 @Poppy_yyyyyyyy I worked in a pub many years ago that had a house beer made in exactly the same way. Any dregs got mixed in to one barrel. People loved it 😄

@Poppy_yyyyyyyy I worked in a fancy Italian bakery in the UK - the most expensive biscuit was made by mixing all the left over stale stuff with chocolate powder and rebaking it.

Not my first job but one I often think about - at about 19 I got a job in a trifle factory. For some reason all the other workers there were Polish. Our instructions were given in Polish and we were sent to our stations. The other people at my station would tap the lids of passing trifles and, by the tap, decide if they could carry on down the conveyor belt or be thrown in the bin. I could not work out what the tapping was supposed to deduce so I joined in the trifle tapping and binned them at about the same rate as the other workers. I lasted two shifts and quit but for the next few weeks was constantly expecting some trifle poisoning scandal to occur. I stole six family sized trifles in my two shifts. I’m hindsight we were probably just checking the lids were on securely.

@anon_opin RNLI don't want government funding, which come with government control and policy makers' interference. It works best as an independent body which has consistency of governance and autonomous control. 🙂

It's a sign of a failing society that vital emergency services like the RNLI and mountain rescue are charities nearly fully staffed by volunteers rather than publicly funded agencies.