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Twitter: the place where people you agree with 99% of the time lose their shit and block you over a single moderately different opinion.
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pam berkeley
65.4K posts
pam berkeley
@pmberkeley
Engineer, educator, entrepreneur. Cares more about how people treat people than what they claim is their ideology.
Katılım Eylül 2009
2.8K Takip Edilen1.5K Takipçiler
But the issue is that it is a lot more common now. I had a friend around my age who didn't mind porn at all, didn't have a filter on it (for decades of dating men), and then she dated a guy who was secretly exceedingly into it and then started doing creepy stuff to her from it. She was massively traumatized by the experience and she was out of touch with me for years while she recovered from it. Most/a lot of women dating these days have encounters with men like that, and that's why/how so many women become so absolutely "anti porn".
I'm curious if you start asking these women *why* they disagree with you on porn, asking for specific details of their experiences, it might be eye-opening. I think your (very slightly) older generation has largely been cut off from these experiences with porn-addicted men. It's causing a disconnect between the women slightly older than me and those slightly younger than me, and that's the divide I'm trying to bridge here. I think you're assuming they're arbitrarily absolutist about porn and just don't understand the male sex drive, but I think they might know a little too much about it and know they need to be yanking back hard on the reigns, penalizing the class of men who are using it so maybe it'll land somewhere close to where you experience it to be when the dust settles.
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I agree with you about excessive use. Excessive use of anything is problematic and destructive. When I discuss these topics I'm contending with women who seem to have an all or nothing approach. Most people are not all or nothing in their behaviors. Most people do consume some form of pornography on occasion. That is what I'm trying to get across.
Now if these women are traumatized by men who have abused them, and neglected them in favor of pornography, then that's a different thing. That's unacceptable. But I think they need to come to terms with the fact that they may have been exposed to addicts and abusers and those are not the norm.
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I can only hope that the women I impact also become interested in learning about how male and female brains differ and how this impacts our relationships with sex. The more we can come to understand the hormonal and structural influences the opposite sex is under, the more we can bridge the divide between each other.
And I can only hope that men who I impact come to respect themselves and the way their brains function as a natural, positive and necessary influence on humanity, Rather than constantly feeling like they are wrong or immoral for how they were born. Men are not defective women and I want them to stop listening to those who believe they are.
𓅇@icono_clastic
@LizzyStarrrdust @hollowearthterf I’m not expecting you to prioritize me or care what I think but you should care about the women you’re impacting and the men you’re stunting.
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@JokeNowNapLater I don't know, a lot of women did this during the pandemic without their employers knowing. Women are typically more productive employees than men, including mothers. Depends on the job, I think.
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@pmberkeley No way could they do it full time, but part time sure. They'd have to take a ton of breaks and work much less.
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There's really no good reason why corporate America couldn't let these women work with their infants.
Zero Tolerance Policy@ThoughtCrimes80
This is hard. Mothers shouldn’t have to leave their babies 2 months after birth and go back to work. I love America, but this is one thing we haven’t gotten right. Babies need their mamas. Mamas need their babies. 💔
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@Laura_ltdn18 @sfmcguire79 @wesyang Honor code only works when the purpose of being there is honorable
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@pmberkeley @sfmcguire79 @wesyang This was the honor code, though, and students took it seriously when I was there. It was a point of pride. Just really sad to see such a marker of integrity fall by the wayside.
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Concerns about academic integrity have led the Princeton faculty to make a major change to the honor code:
“All in-person examinations at Princeton will be proctored starting July 1, representing the most significant change to the honor system since it was established in 1893.”
“The historic vote was the culmination of months of deliberation within the administration and student governing bodies about how to address increasing concerns over academic integrity violations, including the proliferation of AI usage.”
“In The Daily Princetonian’s 2025 Senior Survey of over 500 seniors, 29.9 percent of respondents reported that they had cheated on an assignment or exam during their time at Princeton.”
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@sevultura @AntiCommieBecca Reproduction is not the same thing as marriage
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@AntiCommieBecca In 14th century England 30% of women were unmarried. In 1850 it was 25%. In every era of history there was a substantial number of unmarried women
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I think everybody is overthinking this. Throughout human history, every single individual is NOT reproducing. I don’t know where this idea came from. This doesn’t exist in ANY species.
Historically, 80% of women reproduced & 40% of men. Currently we’re at 80% of both and it’s considered a crisis.🤦♀️
The reality is humanity didn’t hit their first billion until the 1800s and we are now peaking at 10 billion.
The birth rate is slowing all over the world which likely means this is at least in part, a natural phenomenon to reduce the overall number of humans.
Population decline will eventually plateau and stabilize at a lower number.
And by the time this all shakes out, who knows what the reproductive technology will look like.
The world is changing. We are no longer in the 1400s. Continuously seeking arcane solutions to a modern world is a waste of time.
Try your best & go with it. Maybe you’ll get married, maybe you won’t. If you have to remain single accept it. Human beings are not slaves you are entitled to.
Either way, it’l be alright!
Rob Henderson@robkhenderson
My latest for WSJ "Female emancipation reduced the utility of...'low-value men'..in previous decades, monogamous marriage was 'DEI for men,' meaning it used to be easier for men to find partners, regardless of their own level of success or attractiveness" wsj.com/opinion/free-e…
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@Laura_ltdn18 @sfmcguire79 @wesyang Universities stopped being about learning and started being about prestige decades ago. The problem didn't start with this generation.
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@sfmcguire79 @wesyang Wow. We used to pride ourselves on this honor code. What a terrible reflection on this generation.
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@_FucknBossChick @Romy_Holland I think, too, a lot of women just have trouble moving quickly. They have trouble turning around, or pulling down multiple layers of clothing, or they need to find something in their purse, or fix something
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You know they could be doing other things than just straight peeing right? Changing a pad or tampon. Some people line the whole seat with toilet paper before they use it. Some people have IBS. Could be doing a #2. Could be sick. You really couldn’t think of any other reason why it would take a woman a bit longer than 40 seconds?
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whenever there’s a line in a public bathroom, i notice that the women ahead of me usually take like 3-5 min in the stall. i’ve always been confused about why. i timed myself today and it took me under 40 seconds without rushing. is everyone else just resting or something?
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@webdevMason @justalexoki I worry a lot more about my younger brother than my older sisters, and a lot more about my male friends than my female friends.
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@justalexoki Oh man, that's funny. I worry so much more about my son!
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having a daughter this fall and i am already stressing out over her entire life lmao. did not feel this with my boy at all
Melina 🇻🇦@bioenergeticmel
Why do men always act upset at gender reveals when they find out they’re having a daughter? Why do men hate having daughters? 😭
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The only scenario I can see it making sense to save mom instead of the kids is if it's only one very young baby and it's a very young and fertile mother and there was no great medical, social, or technological system in place to help the father keep the very young infant alive without the mother.
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I suspect a majority of women will say to save the kids. Please share for reach, though.
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I'd really like to hear the arguments for both.
Your hypothetical: A married father is in a position to save EITHER the wife and mother OR the child/children. Which should it be, and why?
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@Savsays This is framed like it was the woman's fault, when it was really the cops' fault. The cops don't have any kind of restrictions based on what victims do or don't want to do with the perp. They could have and should have arrested him. They didn't.
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WTF: So apparently this criminal, Rhamell Burke, attacked a young woman on the subway and chased her until she found police who could help her.
She then DECLINED to press charges because she “didn’t want to put another black man in jail”.
5 weeks later, Burke shoves a 76-year-old retired teacher down a flight of stairs, killing him.
And it gets WORSE because apparently NYPD officers had sent Burke to the Bellevue Hospital for psychiatric evaluation earlier that day and within FIVE HOURS of his release, he went on to kill 76-year-old, Ross Falzone, while still wearing his hospital PSYCHIATRIC BRACELET.
Burke had also already been arrested four times prior for assault, burglary and resisting arrest.
Yet another horrific death that could have been prevented if NYC had enacted basic law and order and put this man in prison where he belonged...
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This is framed like it was the woman's fault, when it was really the cops' fault. The cops don't have any kind of restrictions based on what victims do or don't want to do with the perp. They could have and should have arrested him. They didn't.
Savanah Hernandez@Savsays
WTF: So apparently this criminal, Rhamell Burke, attacked a young woman on the subway and chased her until she found police who could help her. She then DECLINED to press charges because she “didn’t want to put another black man in jail”. 5 weeks later, Burke shoves a 76-year-old retired teacher down a flight of stairs, killing him. And it gets WORSE because apparently NYPD officers had sent Burke to the Bellevue Hospital for psychiatric evaluation earlier that day and within FIVE HOURS of his release, he went on to kill 76-year-old, Ross Falzone, while still wearing his hospital PSYCHIATRIC BRACELET. Burke had also already been arrested four times prior for assault, burglary and resisting arrest. Yet another horrific death that could have been prevented if NYC had enacted basic law and order and put this man in prison where he belonged...
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@NoToMisogyny @Savsays Except there's no such thing as "pressing charges". The cops could have arrested him, regardless, they just didn't.
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@Savsays What a stupid fucking bitch. She should be charged with murder alongside Burke
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@LizzyStarrrdust On the other hand, the escalation in use of porn is sapping/redirecting the male sex drive, hence the drop in the birth rate.
I'm not kidding...
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"Cheating" is whatever the two people involved have decided amongst themselves that it is.
Personally, I don't consider this cheating. This is a wholly female sex brained concept. Men are going to look at other women than you sexually, whether in porn or on the street. They don't necessarily want to do anything about it, that's just how their brains are wired. Women cannot conceive of how this can be the case, but it is. And that's why humans have survived. The male sex drive.
Lizzie Marbach@LizzieMarbach
Boyfriend admits to watching porn “like a week ago.” 🤮 then gets offended when she says that’s “gross.” Ladies, a guy using porn IS cheating and you should not tolerate it. Men should also have the same intolerance for women reading smutty books.
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Vegetarianism was around during slavery, and there wasn't a great correlation between vegetarians and abolitionists.
Aella@Aella_Girl
a great test of "would you have been chill with owning slaves, if you'd been born into a slave-owning family" is whether or not you're vegetarian today
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@Hoodie_Milly @Aella_Girl There is a kind of human abnegation involved in vegetarianism that I personally think is at odds with the humanitarian spirit of abolitionists.
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Lol most vegetables are harvested by underpaid immigrants who basically *are* slaves.
Dont get me wrong i believe vegetarianism is fundamentally more ethical than eating meat in a vacuum.
But the world is not a vacuum. And what I fundamentally dislike about vegetarian elitists like yourself is youre like that one roommate that throws a couple of their own dishes in the dishwasher and cant stop praising themselves for how much they helped clean the house. The job is never finished. And you are never done doing your part. So spare us all the moral handwringing and self-backpatting cause at the end of the day you cast out human despair and inequality and instead anthropomorphize the animals and extend all your empathy to them as if they dont kill eachother for less.
And for the record. No. This doesnt excuse me eating meat. This isnt cope. And I still actively make efforts to reduce my meat consumption more and more every day. But at the end of the day. Animals are not my priority. Humans are. And I know damn well you losers cannot say the same which is why your test is bullshit
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@Romy_Holland I don’t totally understand this perspective apart from a religious worldview. You’re an animal. Look at your teeth. You have canines. You’re adapted to eating meat. Do you think that the lion is being selfish, too? The hawk? The robin?
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as someone who spent 16 years doing some combo of vegan/vegetarian/pescatarian and then gave up and ate meat while pregnant last year, i actually think this tweet is true.
the feeling of choosing to eat meat was very much like “*shrug* i’m gonna do something selfish and sorta evil because im lazy and full of desire.” i think many choices are like this and you’ll find that acknowledging that reality actually feels better than doing mental gymnastics to justify your decisions.
Aella@Aella_Girl
a great test of "would you have been chill with owning slaves, if you'd been born into a slave-owning family" is whether or not you're vegetarian today
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@justalexoki @Romy_Holland This is the significant realization. It's rational to draw the line at your own species, particularly your own offspring.
I personally think the slavery analogy doesn't hold for this reason.
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@Romy_Holland lollll i was the same. well part of it was actually realizing compared to my child I don't really care about animals that much
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@WomenReadWomen His jaw repeatedly attempting to flee his face is distracting, is this a bone issue caused by puberty blockers?
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This is a 30 year-old man.
Puberty blockers are a form of chemical castration.
Chemical castration and gender identity ideology were pioneered by pro-pedophile sexologists.
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This seems like a particularly modern ghosting culture problem. People aren't valuing real world events enough.
Real Post Folder@RealPostFolder
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