Robert Alan Hall

Shout out to the great movies with dumb names because dumb movies used the good names first. I see y’all

Sixty-nine? More like sixty-nice.

Being smart is knowing how to stop the spread of the virus in the US Being wise is knowing it was never gonna happen

@zoopti Nothing. Hooch is crazy

I’ve been denied two hugs today because of Coronavirus. That’s what will kill me

@timleak @_not_sharon I had to use it for memos in the Navy and it just stuck with me

@robhall93 @_not_sharon Oh god. I counted you a friend... and you use COURIER NEW?!

I’m gonna open a buffet that goes on and on and call it Eat Cetera

When a writer asks someone to marry them, do they pro-prose?

@MyWifeClaire Have you tried jerking off the whole pack?

I've tried keto paleo carnivore and i STILL can't stop beating off

@cam_noah_mcl “No, you! You’re a stud!”

Haha, thank you!

Don’t ask how I got here, just be glad I came

This morning, I sarcastically asked myself what black shirt I was gonna wear today

I can’t dance in my dreams because I have bad circadian rhythm

The best part of moving to a bigger comedy scene is getting to bomb twice a night instead of once

How much I like a band is directly correlated to how closely the singer sings in my vocal range

TONIGHT ON BEAST! @merrydevo! @bitchimababy88! @robhall93! @LeftHannPath! @shanolafoodlova! & MORE! Hosted by @MalloryNHead & @TheZambon! @Howlinwolfnola | 8:30pm | FREE + $2 🌮’s and Miller High Life 🍺’s

I’ve reached my peak

I like to play this game before writing papers for school called “can I still pass if I don’t write this paper?”

Professor: we’re learning about reflections today Me: when will my reflection show who I am inside