Robney Mcplum ⱽᵉʳᶦᶠᶦᵉᵈ

@bushontheradio its only 3rd :(

Please sum up 2025 for you so far in 3 words.

@7ellis96 @anon_opin I think about you Sam, your work is appreciated at Robney Towers

@anon_opin And yet everyone upset about this will happily watch TV all day without thinking about all of us engineers out there making it happen - and the same for New Years Eve. Fireworks don't film themselves.

It fills me with joy to see people posting photos of the absolute worst christmas dinners they've paid well over £50+ for because they decide they need to go out to a pub to eat forcing people to have to work on christmas when they aren't essential workers

@anon_opin Or a different take, I have nobody to join me for Christmas dinner even when I've offered to take them out for it.

@fesshole what a bizarre thing to lie about...

Played an episode of Blake's 7 to check streaming from my home RAID was working properly. Realised the stories and acting were better than anything new from streaming in the last decade. Daughter agrees. Cancelled all five video streaming subscriptions.

@fesshole @fesshole. No, you dont. And everyone knows you don't. And deep down, you actually know that nobody believes you do either.

When I see a bad driver, I follow them home to figure out their address then send them a fake "Notice Of Intended Prosecution"

@fesshole why are you in a primary school playground eavesdropping private conversations between young girls?? 🤣

To discourage the kids asking for a Furby for Christmas, I told my them that they come alive at night and pull your fingernails off to feed on the soft meat underneath. Overheard the youngest telling her friends about it in the playground.

@SustoFelix @fesshole Preparation H

@fesshole Yank here, can someone explain to us speaking a different dialect of English what "pile" cream is, please?

A hot girl has started working in my local pharmacy so I can't get my pile cream there anymore. I have to go two miles to the big Boots instead.

@fesshole Doesn't really matter what you say, it wont make her any less fictitious.

Girlfriend of four months doesn't know the difference between their and there. Or should I say ex-girlfriend.

@fesshole So, what we can take from this is after his death, you behaved in exactly the same way you did whilst he was alive, reinforcing your uncles decision as to why he cut you out of his estate. Oh, and your uncle was clearly a nonce.

My Uncle died and left his estate to the kids next door. He left his household junk to me. Any photo, negative or digital picture/video of them growing up that I found amongst his stuff, I summarily shredded or deleted. Many were likely the only copy.

@DogeDillionaire @greg16676935420 That's why THEY want cashless, traceable, no escape, contactless bank cards. I'm no CoVID19 conspiracy loon (honest) but the one where it was invented to get people used to and not WANTING to, handle germ covered cash anymore was the one I'd believe if I HAD to choose one :)

@tokyosexwhale because hes a nonce?

Why won’t Andrew Tate make a good teacher?

@fesshole I'm not a stupid person, but this, electrical terms like amps/volts/watts and order of the planets around the sun, simply refuse to stay remembered in my head. No matter who has attempted to 'teach' me or how often I've tried

I'm quite a successful publisher and editor based in London with an imprint dealing in turnover in the millions. I still need to ask my girlfriend what an adjective/verb/adverb is.

@gm2112rush @fesshole no, needs to be something natural and normal that she also can do nothing about. Tell her you don't find her as attractive because she's lost 2" in height and if she's not noticed, tell her her eyes must be going also as it's massively obvious.

@fesshole Just tell her you find her less attractive because she has put on weight.

My wife admitted that she found me less attractive because I am losing my hair. Ordered some pills off the internet which actually do stop my hair loss, but also totally kill my sex drive. Now in a catch 22 situation where one of us is less interested in sex no matter what I do

@anon_opin you forget, they aren't designed to make the users life easier, they are designed to use as little paper as possible to make savings for the owners.

The person who invented those "cats bum hole" toilet paper dispensers should be on trial in the Hague

@Thefieryjack @fesshole and borrow it off her THEN fuck her off.

@fesshole Borrow £5k and get a hair transplant its great and worth every penny

@fesshole Fuck, and I can't stress this enough, Fuck. Her. Off.

@fesshole if you had the old pin, he obviously had no issue with you being able to access his phone. Something must have happened you've either chose to not mention or didn't notice, maybe a light hearted joke about something innocent you saw that's made him now close you off?

I needed my husband's phone. It was for a second, he has now acted like it is the nuclear football and changed the pin instantly. There's a little bit of a problem here, isn't there?

@fesshole I have to take my glasses OFF to read menus and such like.

I'm 28. Went for a pub lunch yesterday and for the first time had to pull out my glasses in order to read the menu, mortifyingly in front of a very attractive barmaid. Never felt so old in my life.

@fesshole as a cat owner, can confirm this is the best way to 'have' cats. Very much like grandparents and children, you get all the best bits but let other people deal with the 90% of the time it's simply not.

Downsized to a smaller house when I became widower. Bought house largely because it has a corner plot which neighbourhood cats pass through on way to neighbouring countryside. Enjoy company of several of them without getting one of my own and paying vet's bill.

@MidSportsMedia j20 didn't exist in my day, was either britvic orange or coke in a glass bottle. And seabrook crisps.