RootPoint

A horny gorilla sees a lion bent over a small stream, taking a drink... The gorilla runs up behind the lion, grabs on, and has his way with him. The gorilla then takes off running, with the very angry lion on his heels. As they run through the jungle, the gorilla gets a bit of a lead, and sees a British safari camp ahead. The gorilla enters the camp, grabs some khakis that are hung out to dry, and puts on pants, a shirt, and a hat. He sits on a chair by the campfire and grabs a copy of the local paper, pretending to read, to hide his face. The lion enters the campsite and lets out a huge roar. He yells, "did anyone see a gorilla run through here?" The gorilla, in full disguise, calls out, "you mean the one that fucked the lion up the ass?" The lion exclaims, "Oh my gosh! It's in the paper already?"

@alexpotato @jennfrey I dont mind some of the kids parties but im with that guy. You can just do things and not worry about societal pressure. Then again, his kids may not be really social without interactions outside of school, etc.

@jennfrey Chatting with another dad: Me: “What are you doing this weekend? Him: “Going to Vermont. We rented a house and go every weekend” Me: “Every weekend? What about birthday party invites for the kids?” Him: “We just don’t go”

The secret is you don't have to attend these things.

@blaq_en_belle I wore a blue polo shirt and khakis to Beat Buy the Saturday after Thanksgiving in 2008. Huge mistake. I helped customers make better buying decisions.

A woman at a retail store decided my black pants and plain polo were enough proof that I worked there. She walked straight up to me and asked where some item was. I said, “Sorry, I don’t work here.” She stared at me like I had personally ruined her day and said, “Well you are standing here aren’t you?” I laughed a little because I thought she was joking. She was not. She started complaining that “people don’t want to work anymore” and that I was being rude. I told her again, “Ma’am, I literally don’t work here. I’m shopping.” She said, “Then why are you dressed like that?” I replied, “Because my job also requires clothes.” She stormed off to find my manager. Five minutes later, I watched her arguing with an actual employee while pointing at me from across the aisle. The employee looked at me, looked back at her, and said, “Yeah… he really doesn’t work here.” No apology. She just walked away like I had somehow tricked her by existing in a polo shirt. 😂

@Whynotbeme2021 @CynicalPublius I had a buddy send me a huge amount of Iraqi dinars right after the invasion kicked off. Got sent via DHL if my memory is correct.

@CynicalPublius I distinctly remember this. And yet people still got home with whatever it was that they weren’t supposed to have, reclaim, or acquire

Coming out of Iraq there was always a shakedown inspection at the APOD ("Aerial Port of Debarkation") for the troops who were leaving and headed home. The idea was to catch any illegal war trophies, ammo or other contraband. On my way out the door, a female E-5 from the Signal battalion had ~$20,000 in small bills in her duffel bag. Turns out she was personally running a one-woman brothel out of a port-a-potty. There are more ways than one how port-a-potties in a combat zone get nasty.

@Bhess @HeroDividend Ive done a 29 minute Costco run before and my wife was shocked. Tricky is knowing the layout and hitting certain things in the right order, plus being alone helps so you can just push through the crowds who aren't paying attention.

@HeroDividend You got to go during the week and either early or about an hour before close. Then it's not bad at all.

Every single time I shop at Costco the parking lot is completely full. People literally fight for parking spaces. Shopping inside the store is honestly a terrible experience. Everyone is either old or overweight. Buggies completely full of snacks, toilet paper, and rotisserie chickens. Checkout is a very manual process and typically takes just as long as shopping does. The food court is full of cheap and high calorie items. Good value but full of sodium and seed oils. As a shareholder - the company is extrememly well run. Has a very strong private label brand (Kirkland). Has pricing power to manage tarrifs/inflation etc… They have consistently grown their dividend and have a history of paying special dividends to shareholders Costco is a cash cow and I love being a shareholder

Me: in Japanese internet café at 4AM. place filled with, gamers, exhausted businessmen, one teenager eating instant noodles with military focus. peaceful chaos. I go to vending machine for coffee. machine asks long question in Japanese. Me: ... random guy beside me notices my suffering. Guy: Need help? Me: Please. he presses button for me, coffee comes out. simple, beautiful. then machine suddenly starts dispensing MORE drinks. one, two, THREE coffees. Me:...." Guy: ... apparently this man accidentally selected "party mode." machine now committed emotionally. people nearby watching us receive industrial quantities of caffeine. Guy: I am so sorry. Me: It's okay, we ride together now. so now we're sitting there at 4:30AM drinking multiple canned coffees with strangers because destiny made a bulk purchase. one exhausted businessman nearby grabbed free coffee and whispered: "Tonight... we survive." Honestly felt less like a café and more like support group for people defeated by modern life.

Me: trying to return package at Japanese post office. Employee: Do you have the form? Me: ...possibly. I hand her three unrelated receipts, a train ticket, and what might've been a noodle coupon. Employee studies documents with incredible professionalism. Employee: This is from convenience store. Me: Right. Employee: And this is train station. Me: Also correct. Employee: And this... long pause. Employee: ...coupon for karaoke. Me: I was going through a lot emotionally. woman trying SO HARD not to laugh. finally she gives me correct form. entire thing in Japanese. Me staring at paper like ancient curse tablet. Employee: It's okay. I help. for next ten minutes this woman basically carried me academically through the Japanese postal system. at the end I bow respectfully and say: Thank you for your patience. Employee: No problem. You had strong confusion. Honestly one of the most accurate descriptions of my life.

@dmoon @Stuckey2 And how did that work out?

@Stuckey2 When my mom died we used to a lawyer who said not to pay any of the cards. He was going to send them a notice and the estate would be closed before they were likely to respond as a creditor.

Spent 20 minutes on a call with capital one for my dad’s estate going through process. At end of call, lady says we now own discovery and I can transfer you to their estate team since it’s a separate process. Me “great, yah he had a discovery card, that will save me a step” …

@tao_westie Our westie does that with where our previous westie would be found, which did the same thing to where our first westie would be found.

そういえばですが、少し前に先代モモが亡くなって1年が経ってました 私が11歳の頃から一緒に過ごしてきた、大きくて優しくて賢い女の子です 14歳3ヶ月で虹の橋へ向かいました モモならここに居るだろうなって場所を、タオがよく凝視してるので多分居るんだと思います。

@BletteD83 @ChefMiew @fwmarqix Wait what? 1.5kw??? I get that apartments are small but holy moly

@ChefMiew @fwmarqix Older apartments in Japan have breaker boxes that are rated at very low levels. I lived in one apartment that had a 1500 Watt main breaker (I think). If I turned on an electric room heater, a rice cooker & a microwave oven, the main breaker would shut off the whole apartment.

Me: I think my Japanese landlord believes I’m either a criminal or deeply incompetent. Friend: What did you do. Me: I tried to change a light bulb. Friend: How do you mess up changing a light bulb. Me: I don’t know, man, the apartment fought back. my first week living alone in Osaka, light in kitchen dies. simple task, normal adult responsibility, go to convenience store, buy light bulb with complete confidence despite understanding approximately 3% of the packaging. come home, unscrew old bulb. new bulb does not fit, okay fine, go back outside, buy another bulb. this one fits, victory. turn switch on, entire apartment loses power.🤦😂 silence, complete darkness. somewhere in the distance a dog barks like the universe itself is disappointed. Me: .…interesting.🤣 ten minutes later there is knocking at my door. landlord standing there in full emergency mode. tiny elderly Japanese man wearing slippers and concern. Landlord: Daijoubu?! Me: I think I attacked the electricity. he walks inside, looks at light fixture, looks at breaker, looks at me, with the expression of a man trying to understand how I survived childhood.😂 Landlord: You put wrong bulb. Me: Yes. Landlord: Very wrong bulb. Me: I’m gathering that. he fixes it in literally twelve seconds, light comes back on. Landlord: Okay now. Me: Thank you so much. he starts leaving, stops at door, turns back very slowly. Landlord: You cook? Me: …sometimes. Landlord: Maybe don’t tonight.

@realEstateTrent @aussieflya Also... cell phones

@aussieflya “I’m worried about my privacy!” Meanwhile, 29,284 cameras all over the airport 🤪

I flew out of Newark Airport this morning and experienced something that is obviously going to become standard everywhere within the next few years. There was no TSA agent checking IDs. No pulling anything out of my pocket. I walked up to this new machine, it scanned my face, the gate opened, and I kept walking. There was no line because the process moved so fast. It felt like stepping a few years into the future, and it was awesome!

@RuyDiazB1976 @saif305 Jubans are a thing and its great

@saif305 Jewish-Cuban heritage has to be the most Miami thing ever.

My favorite part of my good friend, Judge Bach-Armas going viral is that: 1)People are seeing this guy is an absolute stud. 2) Folks can look into his background and see he is a proud Miamian (Jewish & Cuban heritage) and someone who gives back and shows up through his commitment to education in underserved communities.

@Z_o_y_a__ @florida_grand Doesn't have enough power capacity for AI. It was designed for colocation loads. AI loads are multiples beyond that. I worked on some heavy compute stuff and per rack it was maybe 1/3rd of AI power draw.

@rootpoint @florida_grand Op said biometrics on every floor not in every room lol 😆 . Also - what’s keeping it from being utilized more fully? And, what do you mean it’s no good for AI ?

Did you know Miami has one of the most protected buildings in America, if not THE most protected building? People drive by it daily without even realizing it. MI-1, NAP of the Americas, is one of the eight wonders of the data center world as it’s able to withstand a Category 5 hurricane. In essence, the infamous "cloud" lives there. “We have steel reinforced concrete walls. We are designed not to flood outside; We are in a 500-year no-flood zone," said Grace Padron, the Senior Director of Operations for Equinix’s Miami and Atlanta metros. "We are designed so that water that falls on the roof, down to the base, floods our internal garage, and then we pump that water out." More bluntly, this is MI-1, a building, which roughly takes up 16 acres of space, has 700,054 square feet of purpose data center floor, with each floor being 120,000 feet. Additionally it has:  •6-story, precast/CMU over steel •7-inch thick steel-reinforced concrete exterior panels •Raised floor •Located outside FEMA 500-year designated flood zone •Equipment floors 32 feet above sea level •Category 5 hurricane resistant with approx. 19 million lbs of concrete roof ballast “Everyone says ‘the cloud’ – well this is 'the cloud,'" Padron said with a laugh. “The cloud is just built of data centers that house servers and routers that route to the entire world, and connect the world and provide that information. Information resides on the cloud, yes on these servers, and for our customers that we protect.“ To enter the building, one must pass a security check. Every floor has biometrics to get in and out of every room, security cameras inside and outside the entire facility, as well as internal record-keeping and maintenance on all systems. And how is it cooled? There are air conditioning handlers to keep motors speeds and temperatures sustained, systems to make sure power is getting distributed correctly, and cages that intake cool air and output hot air to make sure all servers and routers are not overworked. And when was MI-1 built? In 2020? Nope. In 2015? Nope When, though? It must have been recent with all the other massive data centers, right? Nope. MI-1 was built in 2000 and began operations in 2001. It essentially was a prime reason the world was able to go from using flip phones to the smart phones you’re communicating with right now. And do you know how much water was used in the past 25 years to keep it cooled? Not sure if there is a math equation to figure it out.

@florida_grand Just shot you a DM

@florida_grand Yeah i can get you into a few with me as a tech tag-a-long. I brought a lot of cybersecurity students on tours between 2018 and start of 2020. Like 5 at a time and had them go and see what the hardware really means.

It’s truly remarkable how Miami has become the hub for communications throughout the Americas. In Florida, there are currently 17 landing sites, with seven in the works, that connect to other landing sites in countries like Panama, Honduras, Venezuela and Brazil through through submarine communication cables, better known as subsea cables. According to the U.S. Naval Institute, more than 97% of all internet traffic is connected through a network of subsea cables that are under the ocean. And most of them all circle back to Florida, mostly in South Florida.

@vukovicangel @fwmarqix How did he take it?

@fwmarqix I called my prospective father in law, a very traditional Kurdish man, “sugar daddy,” when I meant to say dear father 🫠

Me: trying to buy medicine in Japan. Cashier: What symptoms do you have? Me: Coughing. Cashier: Dry cough or wet cough. Me: .....competitive cough. Cashier pauses. Me: I mean aggressive. Cashier now visibly fighting for her life professionally. she pulls out translator app. Translator: His cough seeks victory. Cashier: "..." Friend in another aisle collapsing silently. Cashier finally hands me medicine very carefully like she's handling a dangerous animal. then she bows and says: Please defeat your cough. I almost cried laughing in the store. What’s the worst thing you've ever said accidentally while traveling?

@WildGoose1691 @fwmarqix Horse kittens!

@fwmarqix Not traveling, and not even in a foreign language. I once asked a coworker if he had a map of November. He looked at me quizically and repeated my question. I said "yeah, a map of November." He replied "you mean, a calendar? "

@LeavingNY00 @florida_grand A lot of them come from the stations in north miami and Hollywood then travel down the FEC right of way. Its why the building was built where it was, its right down that path.

@florida_grand Isn't that building where most of the intercontinential fiber optic cables connect to from overseas?