Joe

Sensational 🔥🔥🔥 @daveryding becomes Britain's first ever alpine skiing World Cup GOLD medallist with a superb second slalom run 🥇 Not a bad way to warm up for #Beijing2022 👏

Former ‘Playdays’ star Why Bird to join GB News

@TheGroveBalham @Claire_harr Thanks for making it a great day 🥂 All the team were brilliant, hope you managed to put your feet up after running a packed out pub

It was our pleasure @Claire_harr - Congratulations once again on yesterday 👏🏅 Hope you & Jen are well rested! (And seem to remember @some_cool_guy saying he didn’t like social media 🤣 - hope he enjoyed his birthday 🥳) See you all again soon!

@TheGroveBalham @Claire_harr I did say that, and today they all broke. I never knew I had that power! 😈

Tonight on Panorama: Panorama attacks Panorama.

Don’t ever tell me I’m “not English”.

@Matt_Smally You really need to invest in some bib shorts

I know, sat morning is screaming out for a video of a school bus arriving in Mongolia - so here you go - keep watching....

@Matt_Smally No people, just like March 2020

I made this video when Phil Daniels was on MasterChef. It was not approved.

@Matt_Smally Yeeess! Let’s go to the pub.... oh

@Matt_Smally Yes! Cannot wait to get back in there

@Matt_Smally While you were in the flat?

From 4am (South London Time) no-one who lives in Clapham will be allowed into Balham

I know some people are uncomfortable with the double-entendre of #EatingOut, so I've come up with a few alternative slogans the Govt. could use. Go Down To The Cafe! Beat Off Recession! Make It Local Food! Huge Menus, Huge Savings! #GoDown #BeatOff #MILF #HugeMen

@Matt_Smally Had no idea that Slough and back was all downhill

[Text] UNKNOWN NUMBER: Hey, you busy? ME: Nope, still in lockdown. Who’s this? *Rips off mask* DUOLINGO OWL: I fucking knew it! Learn Spanish you piece of shit.

@Matt_Smally Is this related to your earlier tweet? twitter.com/matt_smally/st…

@Matt_Smally David financing your Lego habit?

Keep yourself entertained during quarantine by taking daily mail comments and putting them on New Yorker cartoons to create your own satirical comics.