Steve

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Steve

Steve

@stevehasatweet

This is where I tell you about myself. These are tweets. Click that link.

? Katılım Eylül 2015
3.5K Takip Edilen8.1K Takipçiler
Sabitlenmiş Tweet
Steve
Steve@stevehasatweet·
I may be an open book but I'm far from an easy read.
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Quite the Curious
Quite the Curious@QuiteTheCurious·
Every year, without fail, there is a point at which I lose the ability to breathe through both nostrils simultaneously. Every year, without fail, I swear to never again take the simultaneous working nostrils for granted. Every year, I forget. *snort cries through 1 nostril
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Quite the Curious
Quite the Curious@QuiteTheCurious·
Lazy me always skips simple tasks with the expectation that later me will take care of if, and anyway later me is now current me and current me hates lazy yesterday me. She’s such an asshole.
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Quite the Curious
Quite the Curious@QuiteTheCurious·
If you don’t intentionally time your cough with his orgasm, do you even really love him?
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Quite the Curious
Quite the Curious@QuiteTheCurious·
Looking between the lines for words that do not exist is almost always a sure way to hurt one’s own feelings.
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Quite the Curious
Quite the Curious@QuiteTheCurious·
When young I had a friend whose mom sang “I’d die without shoes” for the chorus of PM Dawn’s ‘I’d die without you’. And really let’s all be honest and admit that for most women this was a much more accurate and relatable lyric.
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Quite the Curious
Quite the Curious@QuiteTheCurious·
🎶Buttplugs and restraints and things that cause pain, these are a few of my favorite things….🎶
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karen
karen@klsmd12·
thank you for letting me be exactly who i am, and loving me for all of me
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paused mortem 💀
paused mortem 💀@LeeCram·
be kind. kidding. be insufferable. like me.
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Meh Curie
Meh Curie@BeckQuerels·
Sometimes pizza crust makes me believe in God.
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Ginger
Ginger@gingerbrigade1·
Welp, I hurt my own feelings again.
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Forward March
Forward March@RunOldMan·
I don't mind getting socks for Christmas because it makes up for all the ones I lost in the laundry.
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Katie D
Katie D@KatieDeal99·
My “treat yourself” mindset hits a whole new level during the holidays
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Jade Munkii
Jade Munkii@MunkMania·
So I looked him in the eyes, which was really hard because they were floating in the bucket all lopsided.
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Panda_Moany_yum 🐼
Panda_Moany_yum 🐼@ajarfullofrage·
it’s okay to not be okay.. it doesn’t make you any less of a man or any less of a woman, it makes you fucking human
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Maddy मॅडी 🥭🌺👗
Maddy मॅडी 🥭🌺👗@MadHatterMommy·
Doctor: eating every 2 hours is wrong Me: yea, 2 hours is a stretch
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Manders 🌻
Manders 🌻@SunflowerGpsy·
That tiny pocket in my jeans holds my dignity
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