the Astute Brute

@Tablesalt13 Imagine being this confident while getting the year, the math, and basic civic reality wrong. The 1995 referendum called, it wants its debunked conspiracy theories back. You manage to fit so much victim complex into one tweet without accidentally stumbling into a single fact.

I hope that Albertans understand that the Federal government will surge immigrants to your lands to skew a referendum vote in their favour like they did to Quebec in 1994.

@Camel_Crushin 😜

I don’t know who needs to hear this, but Star Wars wasn’t real. It never happened. Look it up.

@AJEnglish Imagine having the Trump with world's largest defense budget and now needing a UN resolution to help walk through a door Iran just locked. What a walk of shame to the Security Council! Let's see if the UN treats the Trump regime better than the reverse.

The US and Gulf Arab nations ⁠are drafting ⁠a UN Security Council resolution that will condemn Iran for blocking the Strait of ⁠Hormuz in response to US-Israeli attacks, says US Ambassador to the UN Mike Waltz. 🔴 LIVE updates: aje.news/v3v2y1

@RiseOfAlberta So 6% of Albertans signed the separation petition, and 29% support it. A figure that's remained flat despite intense advocacy. 67% oppose separating from Canada, and while many are frustrated, 84% of Albertans express pride in being Canadian. United not divided!

🚨 BREAKING: 301,620 signatures have officially been announced for the Alberta independence petition. That is far beyond the required threshold to trigger the Alberta independence vote on October 19th. A massive day for the Alberta Independence movement.

@Tablesalt13 Alberta is officially trying to pack its toys and move into the garden shed. 300k signatures to prove they're really, really serious about running away from home. Can't wait for the independent state of Alberta to realize they don't have control of oil prices to buy candy.

‼️MAJOR BREAKING: Albertans have reportedly submitted 300,000 signatures (43 bankers boxes) of Albertans looking to trigger a referendum to leave Canada. ....SMASHING the 170,000 requirement set by Elections Alberta. This is going to happen. Buckle up Canada.

@Monteleone3537 Wrong! Xi Jinping was re-elected by a unanimous vote of 2,952 to 0. Kim Jong Un secured a massive majority in the most recent parliamentary election. His party and its allies officially won 99.93% of the vote. So what's your point?

There are only 3 UNELECTED MAJORITY GOVERNMENTS in the world: 1. China 2. North Korea 3. CANADA

President Trump joking about staying in office an additional 8 to 9 years:

@MoMohler That one's going in the dad-abase

When asked how to make condoms more pleasurable for women, Sir Julius Leapington-Smyth had but one word……“ribbit!”

Mondays are like those killers in horror movies... you keep defeating them but they always creep back and try and hurt you again

@_Sprinkles_77 @Quartzjixler

Yeah, I’m taking my bra off while driving mind ya business

@politico Is the door really open, or is it just a jar?

DeSantis keeps the door open for a 2028 presidential run dlvr.it/TSMpBP

@MikeNellis TRUMP: "One test was for my long-term memory, the second was for my short-term memory, and the third was to remember where I left the results of the first two. My doctor said I have the memory of a goldfish."

He sounds so stupid when he brags about this

@difficultpatty @DestryBrod

Happy Star Track day to all who celebrate.

@Hickoryhaggis4 @DaddyJew What? You're really Donald Trump?

I’m living proof only the stupid survive.

@RiderofWolves @BadMikeyBad Animal! 😜

Who knew that so many animals were capable of typing?

@FT Welcome to...

‘Unprecedented’: transportation costs for US World Cup games have fans crying foul ft.trib.al/GtOIKdB

@AJENews @AJEnglish So many things Iran doesn't have, but some how Trump's regime still doesn't have peace. What's going on Pete Hegseth?

BREAKING: US President Donald Trump says Iran has no navy, air force, radar or leadership, adding that “we’re doing very well.” 🔴 More on aljazeera.com

Star² Wars Trek

@CityNewsTO Alberta separatists are the main character of today's Canadian sitcom. They give us plot tension and ratings. Canadians love them because, without their threats to "leave the show," Canadians would be sitting around watching the Weather Network and talking about the weather.

#LATEST: Alberta separatists say they delivered 301K signatures on petition for referendum bit.ly/4dnkuP0

@StateDept But who's gonna get rid of you, the biggest lunatic with nuclear weapons that can wipe out countries with the push of a button. It should've been done a long time ago, but can you leave today?

PRESIDENT TRUMP: We had to do this little excursion in Iran. It was worth it to get rid of lunatics that would have nuclear weapons that can wipe out countries with the push of a button. It should’ve been done a long time ago, but I'm very proud to be doing it.