arealian

@cremieuxrecueil Man this would SLAP

@tom777kruise This shit gayyyyyy af lmao

They made a “wife” Ferrari

Smokin' on p00p

@growing_daniel Driving in the winter with the heat PUMPING and the windows down is GOATED for achieving "wold" fyi

I like running my AC and heater at the same time. It produces a composite temperature effect I call "wold" for warm+cold which hits different than a purebred temp. The European mind cannot comprehend the subtle pleasure of wold

@iShitInMyJNCOS Did it end up being cake or nah

Cutting off my entire arm cause I thought it was cake

@FuneralDrinker Wouldn't you like to know weatherboy

@thombo89 idk what mtf is supposed to mean

Need a girl who will pull my teeth out with pliers and no anesthetic

Now that I am a married man, I would like to formally ask the population of 18 to 35 year-old women in Brooklyn to stop having hard nipples poking through their T-shirts and tank tops. Thank you for your attention to this matter.

@justalexoki Just push through it, you'll be fine. It's a phase and it WILL pass.

i am actually slowly losing the pull to tweet. it used to be obsessive, on my mind all the time. now idk im not feeling it as much. might be a good thing? or maybe it's just the cut taking its toll

@CaudilloXIV Uhhhh duh yeah it says that on the box bro

Cigarettes can’t hurt you if you’re smoking them with a beautiful brunette laying on her tummy

My penis looks exactly like the flying luck dragon, Falkor.

We've had ONE, yes. But what about SECOND breakfast?!

Ong muhfuggin ring wraiths boutta get da homie Frodo but he just hit a record breaking long jump (for a hobbit) onto the buckleberry fairy...wait I mean ferry LETS FUCKING GOOOOOOOOO

@goblinporn I get mad hard when the barber hits the nape Of my neck just right with the buzzer bruh Sends shivers down my spine

Playing with my balls under the cape at the barbershop

Naming your company after an explicitly evil object in the Lord of the Rings / Middle Earth universe...ISHYGDDT I SHIGGY DIGGY

Bro, Merry and Pippin were just close homies and drinking buddies. STOP SAYING THEY WERE GAY MOTHERFUCKERS!!! I have had it up to HERE with this historical revisionism.

*me, having an almost comically bad grasp of basic vocabulary, after my friend tells me his father just died* "Oh man, I'm so sorry. Good riddance."

@Yeah__Penguin Shitty crap is a piece of crud bro

I hate shitty crap

@dwarkesh_sp I'm available

Who should I interview on my podcast? Open to more AI, but also to random history/econ/etc professors that I might not have heard of before.

The Road goes ever on and on, Down from the door where it began. Now far ahead the Road has gone, And I must follow, if I can