Bob

@ihyjace Girls be talking about the pain of childbirth 🙄 but have you ever been shot in the head? Shot directly in the head and killed? Like actually murdered?

@EBK_Koff Fifth

Gun to your head name an Element

@raunakxc Adddresss

how did people even tell pigeons where to deliver stuff man what the fuck

@valorascult Heh, I got a wellness tip right here 😏

i need wellness tips that have changed your life

Clavicular sounds like a Victorian era disease

@starveswirl Sounds like you have some work to do, sister

@harrrmy Or a stray cat with a little bit of personality

@cosmopterix They’re pretty big tho

Don’t concern yourself with food, shelter, family, friendship, or love because there are rocks in outer space bigger than the Earth.

@vapefuls Kind of, I have an ironic joke noise I make to myself that doesn’t exist in nature. A kind of crescendo opera sound but utterly off key, when something faux poignant happens. You wouldn’t get it

you ever got inside jokes with yourself or is that schizophrenia

@julesgambit Wow! That’s horrible! What did the outfit look like?? Can you post a photo of the outfit? Like a few different angles! Just awful! I can’t believe it!!

Being a woman in chess means getting these random emails at 7 in the morning

@umarstar123 @xzy3479 @tragicbirdapp I love your work Doctor. Big fan

@uruncleb0b @xzy3479 @tragicbirdapp No way you gotta be trolling right 🤣🤣

@10xXira @xzy3479 @tragicbirdapp I’m not d

@uruncleb0b @xzy3479 @tragicbirdapp Are u dumb bro?

@martyrdison I would like the invite. I live in Australia and will decline, but it will make your friend seem worldly and cultured

i’ve gotten roped into hosting a party on friday in nyc in the LES the goal: help my friend convince a woman he wants to marry that he has aura and the ability to throw a proper rager to make this plan work, i’m even getting on a plane to come home from my trip early because if he wanted to, he would. and apparently he does so on friday we will attempt to manufacture the exact social conditions necessary for love if you would like to participate in this experiment 💌dm me for the invite

@StarPlatinum_ I am 40 years old and have $50,000. Not much you say? It is when it’s debt

Recommended money according to age: 0: $0 1: $0 2: $0 3: $0 4: $0 5: $0 6: $0 7: $0 8: $0 9: $0 10: $0 11: $0 12: $0 13: $93 14: $232 15: $465 16: $1,395 17: $3,255 18: $6,975 19: $13,950 20: $23,250 21: $37,200 22: $55,800 23: $83,700 24: $120,900 25: $167,400 26: $232,500 27: $325,500 28: $465,000 29: $651,000 30: $930,000 31: $1,209,000 32: $1,581,000 33: $2,046,000 34: $2,604,000 35: $3,255,000 36: $4,092,000 37: $5,115,000 38: $6,417,000 39: $7,998,000 40: $9,858,000 (Peak) 41: $9,765,000 42: $9,672,000 43: $9,579,000 44: $9,440,000 45: $9,300,000 46: $9,114,000 47: $8,928,000 48: $8,742,000 49: $8,556,000 50: $8,370,000 51: $8,138,000 52: $7,905,000 53: $7,672,000 54: $7,440,000 55: $7,208,000 56: $6,975,000 57: $6,743,000 58: $6,510,000 59: $6,278,000 60: $6,045,000 61: $5,766,000 62: $5,487,000 63: $5,208,000 64: $4,929,000 65: $4,650,000 66: $4,371,000 67: $4,092,000 68: $3,813,000 69: $3,534,000 70: $3,255,000 71: $2,976,000 72: $2,697,000 73: $2,418,000 74: $2,139,000 75: $1,860,000 76: $1,581,000 77: $1,302,000 78: $1,023,000 79: $744,000 80: $465,000 81: $279,000 82: $140,000 83: $46,500 Death: $0 From 15 to 40 → Work hard From 40 to 80 → Enjoy Are you on track? 🤔

@PopCrave She’s like an animorph

Kylie Jenner smoking on the cover of Vanity Fair.

@DanManCarney Nothing wrong with letting off a little steam ay boys?

The concept of abusing your wife as a vice

@xzy3479 @tragicbirdapp She obviously misses her ex and wants to snuggle the hoodie and feel like she’s back with her ex again. As long as she’s putting out, what’s the harm?

@uruncleb0b @tragicbirdapp ?

@claudiaroussel_ Come back

you heard the woman. lay off crazies! (ps. souvla ftw)

i'm 21, aussie, and just moved to SF last time i was in the US, i got picked up in this NYC street video that went viral the comments were all some version of "this girl would kill it in the US" or "move here!!!" reader, that's exactly what i did. i'm here with all the other displaced Aussies building @superpower, a new health system focused on longevity. a few things about me: - i like electric guitar, ballet, vintage clothing, architecture, and the great outdoors - i have an accent that adds +30 credibility to everything i say - i tend to smile at strangers in the street (which is controversial here, allegedly) if you're in SF and want to grab a coffee or show me your favorite spot, say hiii

@Teddybear1722 @JoshRainerGold Good lord

Who remembers this one?

@theJayAlto It depends. Are they in a pile??

a pretty good litmus test for optimism is whether the idea of one trillion humans excites you or terrifies you