Yoni Chanowitz

DM: you find the phylacteries, suddenly a voice emenates from around you "muwahaha! You are too late mortal! For I have been reborn!" Me: I use intimidation by checking phylacteries, and ask "with all due respect, when was the last time you brought these to a soifer?"

Yechi Chuck Norris

@Twit_Or_Miss Sometimes when the urim vetumim doesn't know, it asks Chuck Norris

@Twit_Or_Miss Rashi wonders "what's bothering Chuck?"

@Twit_Or_Miss Chuck Norris actually reads a whole book over Shabbos

Chuck Norris once visited the Lubavitch Rebbe and gave the Rebbe a dollar.

Chuck Norris can support a family while learning in kollel.

@GilStudent Can I get this? I was trying to design a boardgame for memorizing korbanos

Below is a cheat sheet to Vayikra and Tzav. I discuss it all in just half an hour here ohrbit.ai/p/146588

The most successful creative people all found someone who is incredibly organized and made them a good friend earlier in their career

@handleym99 @eigenrobot Wouldn't work because IRGC isn't being run by people who are completely working in their own self-interest they're more about religious fanaticism towards some prophetic Islamic goal

Could it honestly be as simple as Good Cop, Bad Cop? Israel takes out a *small* part of Iran energy - with the message "we could do a whole lot worse". US kayfabes "Iran, you better listen, I'm trying to hold this madman back but it's not easy". And gulf states, being hit again by Iran, are reminded who's their actually enemy vs who isn't blowing up their stuff. Everyone gets what they want! Israel pressures/weakens Iran. US gets to look diplomatic and serious. Arab states get a whole lot of help with the politics of the post-war settlement ("Fundamentalism is bad! Israel and America are not our enemies! We're justified in arresting any islamic lunatics we can!") Seems like people are taking Trump/Netanyahu obvious kayfabe way too seriously.

situation seems to be 1. israel wants to destroy iranian regime 2. iran can only really hurt arab states + their customers, so 3. arabs are functionally iranian hostages but maybe israel doesnt really care about that lol interesting thing is,

@AiRebbe I hate that freeze because it implies that by default I'm going to forget it which after hearing it for 3 days makes me actually forget it

@yoniChanowitz Don’t forget the nasi!

REMEMBER THE NASI!!!!!!!

@ldkop ROMANIAN???

@ldkop Despite it's name מים שלנו is not communist water

PSA Despite it's name, ליל שימורים has absolutely nothing, and I mean NOTHING, to do with yeast.

🎶THIRTY AND A HUUUUUNDRED WAS ITS WEEEEEEEIGHT 🎶

@minhagim Slivovitz

@yoniChanowitz vodka?

8 oz

@eigenrobot @TheKircheis Usually, we put on jeans, eat a hot dog, and watc fireworks while wrapped in an American flag and yell "ייייהאוווו"

David (preparing the 1st Temple): I live in a house so God must have a house. Herod (revising the 2nd Temple): I live in a palace so God must have a palace. Millennials (dedicating the 3rd Temple): So this is God’s studio apartment that God shares with three roomies…

@minhagim Do you put an orange on the seder plate?

Lastly, for now - x.com/minhagim/statu…

Do you eat non-Shmura Matza during Pesach, with the exception of the Sedarim?

@AkivaEisenberg @minhagim Edgy

@minhagim gra

@minhagim Add one whenever I have the money

Do you use the same Haggadah each year at Seder (regardless from which you prepare beforehand) or do you come each year with a different one?