K-BLAQ ALABI OYO

@AnaniRose @Rimansleek @DavRowlan @ImANorthernGirl @Helltridax001 Isoyeh kakureh baa?

@youghb @Rimansleek @DavRowlan @ImANorthernGirl @Helltridax001 It's Isoyeh!!!

I hope this message reaches the right person, as I have to try. I am searching for my mother, Joy Bassey (maiden name), who comes from the Emienyi family in Nusomutong, Abi LGA, Cross River State, Nigeria. Her brother is Clement Bassey. She left when I was very young, and I have spent my life without knowing her, hearing her voice, or having answers to my questions. I was informed that she remarried and moved to Ghana, and since then, she has completely disappeared from my life. If you know her, if you’ve heard her name, or if this message somehow reaches someone connected to her, please, I am begging you to help me find my mother. Even the smallest piece of information could change everything. Please repost. Someone out there must know something. 🙏💔

@Rimansleek @DavRowlan @ImANorthernGirl @Helltridax001 Isoyi

@DavRowlan @ImANorthernGirl @Helltridax001 @9jaTalkerX I am a native of Usumutong, Enokpore ward precisely. I will ask my Dad, hopefully he can help with any available information. My heart goes out to you bro.

@slimvnsn A story about a car is making me remember my friendships and my youth. When we came together for brotherhood and talked about nothing and everything. Those long drives where you forget the destination and remember only the journey cos the good company was the most memorable thing

My friend Rotimi bought a car he had no business buying in 2019. Tokunbo Camry. 2006. Big boot. Leather seats with a crack on the passenger side he covered with a towel he called temporary and is still there today. He drove it off the lot in Berger like a man handed a small country to govern. We called it the Landlord. Not because it was fine. Because it acted like it owned everywhere it went. That car changed our lives in a specific way none of us planned for. Before the Landlord we were 4 men in Lagos doing what young men do. Complaining about traffic from inside danfos. Eating at bukaterias because they were close and Mama Ngozi knew our orders. Talking about things we were going to do someday in the way people talk when someday feels safely far away. After the Landlord we had no excuse. Rotimi showed up one Friday at 7pm outside my flat and said get in. I asked where. He said Ibadan. I said for what. He said suya and a drive and stop asking questions. We called Femi and Kazeem. Both in within 20 minutes. We drove to Ibadan on a Friday night talking absolute nonsense for 2 hours. Kazeem argued the entire way that Rotimi was driving wrong. Not dangerously. Just wrong. Wrong gear changes. Wrong AC. Wrong station. Rotimi said it was his car and Kazeem said it was everyone's car now and that was somehow accepted as truth without further debate. We found a suya spot near Dugbe at 10pm. Old man. Iron skewer. Newspaper wrap. The kind that makes you angry because you know you'll spend the rest of your life comparing everything else to this moment. We sat on a bench outside and ate with our hands and argued about everything. Football first. Then money. Then which one of us was most likely to be successful. Kazeem voted himself immediately. Femi said Kazeem's definition of success was suspicious. Rotimi said he was already successful because he had a car and none of us could argue with that. We drove back at 1am. Kazeem fell asleep before we reached the expressway. Femi was on the phone with someone he refused to explain. Rotimi drove and I sat in front and we talked quietly the way you talk at 1am when the others are sleeping and the road is empty and Lagos is something you're returning to instead of something you're inside. He said he bought the car because he was tired of waiting to be ready. Said we all kept saying when things are better we'll do this when things are better we'll go there and things were never better enough so nothing ever happened. I said that was the wisest thing he had ever said. He said don't tell Kazeem. Many trips followed. Port Harcourt for a wedding where we ate bole and fish by the roadside for 45 minutes and nearly missed the ceremony. Benin City once with no plan, just driving, found a restaurant that served the best ofe onugbu any of us had tasted and sat there 3 hours ordering more than we could finish. A beach in Badagry that took 2 hours to find and was worth the wrong turns. The Landlord broke down 7 times across all of it. Twice on the expressway. Once in Benin at midnight. Once so dramatically in Ibadan that a mechanic came out laughing before he even looked at the engine. We fixed it every time. Stood by the road eating whatever was nearby waiting for the thing to be sorted. Rotimi would say she's resting. Kazeem would say she was never built for this. They argued while Femi and I found cold drinks. Last month Rotimi sold the Landlord. New owner came and drove it away and we stood in the compound watching it go like we were seeing off something that had carried more than just us. Rotimi was quiet. Then he said we did good with that car. Kazeem said the car did terribly and we overcame it repeatedly. Femi said same thing. We laughed on that compound for a long time. Then Rotimi said he was getting a bigger one. Kazeem said God help us. He wasn't complaining.

@RobinaxOg @realsabigurl I reject all. But can we reconsider the mandate song. It’s a bit catchy. Just the song

Do you reject Satan, the APC, the mandate song, and all his evil works?

Calling an urgent zoom meeting with my creator and assigned guardian angels. We need to talk. I was supposed to be a billionaire by now. What’s happening with the plan? Attendance is mandatory please.

@Fact Chuck Norris once pulled the pin on a grenade and tossed it. It injured 47 people, killed 16 and then it exploded

R.I.P Chuck Norris. Chuck Norris once kicked a horse in the chin. Its descendants are known today as Giraffes.

@kevinford678866 @tsitsiii_t You’re right Kevin. But you still didn’t answer the man question. Tha hell is Luke?

@tsitsiii_t It's hot, cold and warm. Mid warm is like saying irregardless. It is regardless, regardless. Otherwise, you are being redundant. Saying the same thing over and over, again and again repeating yourself.

why is it called lukewarm like why isn't medium warm. who is Luke

@adhezeomavwowo @avrilamaka It actually has rules if you deep it. What I love most about pidgin is the respect it gives to the English language. Words are not misused. They retain their original meanings in pidgin. Only difference I think is the absence of present, past and continuous tense

@avrilamaka It literally has no rules, you can break it however way you want and people will still understand you. You can pronouce words however way you want and people still get it

I speak 7 languages fluently but I often think Nigerian Pidgin might actually be humanitys default language. It deletes unnecessary grammar, keeps the vibes fun and just makes more sense. it's less problematic. Once it clicks in your head it bangs so hard.

@IsaacAjax1 @funmitor_ @bigjikada0 The rules never said they have to like it sir

@funmitor_ @bigjikada0 So, if they don’t like it ? what happens???

I disagree Andy. Always give them option. Mama gave us multiple options then too... Option 1 - Eat what I have and cooked Option 2 - Sleep hungry. Option 3 - Go and call the slaves and maids of ponri pongba of your forefathers and father to make another meal for you.

GREAT DAY HABIBI. GREAT DAY!!!

@jamscecred @lelethubb Dey is the pidgin variation of the e verb “to be” So I am becomes I Dey He is becomes He Dey They are is dem dey You are is you dey It is becomes “e dey”

@lelethubb i thought “dey” meant “they”

@Emeneks @OfficialSwazzi Costume na water. What is white cloth that cele church cannot bring

@OfficialSwazzi Keep encouraging me! Na you go be costume designer eventually 😂😂

An Odumeje biopic, but with me playing Odumeje 🥹 Bring 🙏🏼

@elnathan_john Please publish Papa Blessed’s reply. Please. Can’t forget that line about never trusting a man without a moustache. I need to read those write ups again

I wrote this short story a while back, but I have decided to republish it here. Please read An Explanation, a letter from a wife to her estranged husband at the Federal Neuropsychiatric Hospital.

@FATOKIMICHEAL2 @RealKrisDLofton The opening scene of power is Ghost establishing a night club. The series starts out with him wanting to leave the drug life. Angie just made the dream seem within reach. Tasha never saw the dream

@RealKrisDLofton Ghost also had a mind change because he saw future with angie

Tasha lost her nigga season 1. When Ghost asked her; when we met, what did you think I would be? & her simple ass responded “the biggest goddamn drug dealer in NYC” he was checked out THEN! They just delayed the inevitable..

@ejiedddy @Youssefyamani @drpenking He was a bad coach not a bad player. On his wing the only person in the world that could displace him in his prime was Luis Figo.

@Youssefyamani @drpenking If I hear finidi from your mouth ehn... Person wey make us no qualify for world cup... Someone who doesn't believe in formations... He can't be here... No matter how good he was in his playing days.

Nigeria Best XI in history!! 🇳🇬 Who is missing here and who shouldn’t be here?

@UTDKara I’m convinced there was a sniper in the crowds. The number of Algerians going to the ground with every touch was sublime

This Akor Adams goal in slow motion tells you everything you need to know This is definitely AFCON goal of the tournament. That assist alone from Osimhen is unbelievable

@Phred_jr @Fimiii06 I hate when people misspell Kodivua. Just say Ivory Coast

@Fimiii06 you are right, kodovua is hard to spell

nggas be like “ivory coast” because they can’t spell kodovua

When your Naija policeman dad annoys you, but you can’t say anything, so you post him on Twitter in uniform, caption it “congratulations dad”, and wait…

@Abisco__ I’ve never understood the coconut and bread combo. That’s diabolically stressful. My jaw hurts just thinking about it. Why? Is life not hard enough already?

His Korean wife complains about Nigerian food, especially what we eat with bread.

19 December. Mary has put the car seat on the camel. Any day now