Kelly

@ellad3vi I thought she looked great actually

pete hegeseth's wife wore a dress from temu to the white house correspondents dinner (i'm not joking)

@KCStar Why don’t you ask them about high property taxes?

KC area drivers sound off on high gas prices, the Iran war. ‘We all know who to blame’ kansascity.com/news/local/art…

@Jason @hasanthehun @mehdirhasan He’s the next Mamdani and the Dems are supporting it.

@hasanthehun @mehdirhasan You need to reflect deeply on your violent rhetoric Hasan. There are many mentally ill people in the world, and you’re inspiring them.

we dont even have details of what happened yet and these mfs are already using this opportunity to try and blame me! the president uses the most violent rhetoric ever known to man, perhaps thats why its usually his own supporters trying to shoot at him.

@davidaxelrod @POTUS Circumstances have changed.

Here's the official statement announcing plans for a grand new White House ballroom last July. Not one word about the need for it due to security. Last night, the @POTUS & his acolytes immediately seized on the WHCA attack at to justify his dream project. whitehouse.gov/briefings-stat…

@bennyjohnson That’s just bizarre.

🚨 FULL MANIFESTO: Trump White House Correspondents' Dinner Shooter Cole Allen details his motives and targets: "Hello everybody! So I may have given a lot of people a surprise today. Let me start off by apologizing to everyone whose trust I abused. I apologize to my parents for saying I had an interview without specifying it was for “Most Wanted.” I apologize to my colleagues and students for saying I had a personal emergency (by the time anyone reads this, I probably most certainly DO need to go to the ER, but can hardly call that not a self-inflicted status.) I apologize to all of the people I traveled next to, all the workers who handled my luggage, and all the other non-targeted people at the hotel who I put in danger simply by being near. I apologize to everyone who was abused and/or murdered before this, to all those who suffered before I was able to attempt this, to all who may still suffer after, regardless of my success or failure. I don’t expect forgiveness, but if I could have seen any other way to get this close, I would have taken it. Again, my sincere apologies. On to why I did any of this: I am a citizen of the United States of America. What my representatives do reflects on me. And I am no longer willing to permit a pedophile, rapist, and traitor to coat my hands with his crimes. (Well, to be completely honest, I was no longer willing a long time ago, but this is the first real opportunity I’ve had to do something about it.) While I’m discussing this, I’ll also go over my expected rules of engagement (probably in a terrible format, but I’m not military so too bad.) Administration officials (not including Mr. Patel): they are targets, prioritized from highest-ranking to lowest Secret Service: they are targets only if necessary, and to be incapacitated non-lethally if possible (aka, I hope they’re wearing body armor because center mass with shotguns messes up people who *aren’t* Hotel Security: not targets if at all possible (aka unless they shoot at me) Capitol Police: same as Hotel Security National Guard: same as Hotel Security Hotel Employees: not targets at all Guests: not targets at all In order to minimize casualties I will also be using buckshot rather than slugs (less penetration through walls) I would still go through most everyone here to get to the targets if it were absolutely necessary (on the basis that most people *chose* to attend a speech by a pedophile, rapist, and traitor, and are thus complicit) but I really hope it doesn’t come to that. Rebuttals to objections: Objection 1: As a Christian, you should turn the other cheek. Rebuttal: Turning the other cheek is for when you yourself are oppressed. I’m not the person raped in a detention camp. I’m not the fisherman executed without trial. I’m not a schoolkid blown up or a child starved or a teenage girl abused by the many criminals in this administration. Turning the other cheek when *someone else* is oppressed is not Christian behavior; it is complicity in the oppressor’s crimes. Objection 2: This is not a convenient time for you to do this. Rebuttal: I need whoever thinks this way to take a couple minutes and realize that the world isn’t about them. Do you think that when I see someone raped or murdered or abused, I should walk on by because it would be “inconvenient” for people who aren’t the victim? This was the best timing and chance of success I could come up with. Objection 3: You didn’t get them all. Rebuttal: Gotta start somewhere. Objection 4: As a half-black, half-white person, you shouldn’t be the one doing this. Rebuttal: I don’t see anyone else picking up the slack Objection 5: Yield unto Caesar what is Caesar’s. Rebuttal: The United States of America are ruled by the law, not by any one or several people. In so far as representatives and judges do not follow the law, no one is required to yield them anything so unlawfully ordered. I would also like to extend my appreciation to a great many people since I will not be likely to be able to talk with them again (unless the Secret Service is *astoundingly* incompetent.) Thank you to my family, both personal and church, for your love over these 31 years. Thank you to my friends, for your companionship over many years. Thank you to my colleagues over many jobs, for your positivity and professionalism. Thank you to my students for your enthusiasm and love of learning. Thank you to the many acquaintances I’ve met, in person and online, for short interactions and long-term relationships, for your perspectives and inspiration. Thank you all for everything. Sincerely, Cole “coldForce” “Friendly Federal Assassin” Allen PS: Ok now that all the sappy stuff is done, what the hell is the Secret Service doing? Sorry, gonna rant a bit here and drop the formal tone. Like, I expected security cameras at every bend, bugged hotel rooms, armed agents every 10 feet, metal detectors out the wazoo. What I got (who knows, maybe they’re pranking me!) is nothing. No damn security. Not in transport. Not in the hotel. Not in the event. Like, the one thing that I immediately noticed walking into the hotel is the sense of arrogance. I walk in with multiple weapons and not a single person there considers the possibility that I could be a threat. The security at the event is all outside, focused on protestors and current arrivals, because apparently no one thought about what happens if someone checks in the day before. Like, this level of incompetence is insane, and I very sincerely hope it’s corrected by the time this country gets actually competent leadership again. Like, if I was an Iranian agent, instead of an American citizen, I could have brought a damn Ma Deuce in here and no one would have noticed shit. Actually insane. Oh and if anyone is curious is how doing something like feels: it’s awful. I want to throw up; I want to cry for all the things I wanted to do and never will, for all the people whose trust this betrays; I experience rage thinking about everything this administration has done. Can’t really recommend it! Stay in school, kids."

@BarackObama Go away and be quiet like Bush and Clinton

Although we don’t yet have the details about the motives behind last night's shooting at the White House Correspondents Dinner, it’s incumbent upon all us to reject the idea that violence has any place in our democracy. It’s also a sobering reminder of the courage and sacrifice that U.S. Secret Service Agents show every day. I’m grateful to them – and thankful that the agent who was shot is going to be okay.

@ChefGruel And add veges

I’ve always found the best way to make pasta low carb is to double or triple the amount of meat in the sauce.

@JackMac Why is there a “disability channel” in the press room? Why not ask what he’s going to do about the NFL domestic abuse problem?

This is an insane question at a post draft presser. What does the guy even want him to say?

@NFL_DovKleiman More NFL stupidity. He probably made that much in college too. #NIL

𝗧𝗥𝗘𝗡𝗗𝗜𝗡𝗚: New Chiefs rookie DT Peter Woods bought multiple $100,000 Maserati SUVs for his mother and sister after he was drafted. Woods will only make $2.4 million per year after taxes. What an amazing gift to give his family 🥹❤️

@tedcruz Great story. Remember our daughter taking this class on her way to becoming an aerospace engineer

Fascinating.

@NFL_DovKleiman Why should he have even expected a question like that? Maybe the more important social question should have been about domestic abuse since that seems to be a continuing NFL problem. And what is a “disability channel”?

Yikes: New Giants rookie LB Arvell Reese REFUSED to answer how he will make an impact on the disabled veteran and children community in the NFL. "I don't know how to answer that right now." 😬😬😬

@theficouple On top of that they are probably still paying lower property taxes too because taxes reset at the higher sale value once it’s sold. So whatever they would buy might have taxes much higher than they are currently paying

Baby boomers aren't selling their homes & why would they? They paid $90,000 for a home 25+ years ago, owe $0 & have $550k+ of equity. "Downsizing" means they'd need to buy something for $450k + take on a 6% loan. Many won't move & this will keep inventory low.

@Martina I’d say what a sick woman who would provide a baby to this obviously sick man.

What a sick sick man

@LBknowsBall Very sad to see this being done. But I also don’t like seeing all the players from foreign countries.

The inevitable cannibalization of college athletics is here…Arkansas is not an anomaly; Arkansas is a preview. For every $4 million quarterback that signs with a Power Four school, will there be a tennis player, a swimmer, a gymnast, someone who did everything right, losing their sport entirely? collegesportswire.usatoday.com/story/sports/c…

@KeruboSk Get married. If he won’t marry you now then see that as an invitation to move on with your life and find someone else.

My boyfriend and I are planning to buy a house together after dating for 3 years. He earns significantly more than I do, so he’d be contributing about 70% of the down payment. Because of that, he wants the house to be only in his name. He says it’s just “fair” based on the numbers, but we’d both be living there, splitting bills, and building a life together. I’ve been watching a lot of relationship content about equity vs equality, and it made me realize things don’t always have to be 50/50 but this feels like I’d have no security at all. He said if we ever broke up, he’d “do the right thing,” but that doesn’t really reassure me. My friends say don’t move in unless my name is on it. His friends apparently think I’m being entitled. Now I feel stuck between trusting him and protecting myself. Is this a red flag I’m trying too hard to rationalize?

@MLFootball I find that disgusting.

🚨🚨THIS IS INSANE🚨🚨 #Chiefs 29th overall pick Peter Woods purchased multiple Maserati SUVs for his mother & sister last night after he was drafted. Woods spent $200,000+ on the cars. Peter will only make 2.4 million per year after taxes. 😳😳😳

@PatrickMcEnroe Can we seriously not fill these programs with our own citizen students?

Big thx Adam. A very very important issue

@ProfRobAnderson Excuse me—is that $850 for the whole class? Or per student? Because they would be very overpaid if you say it’s $850/kid.

How much do you tip your kid's elementary school homeroom teacher? Folks around here are saying the going rate is $850 for the homeroom teacher, maybe $150 for others (music, PE, art, etc.)

@PatrickMcEnroe You just acknowledged how few American students are playing college tennis and how it’s mainly foreign students so I’m not gonna be too sad about it—other than what it says that we can’t fill the programs with our own citizens.

Breaking news….and it’s not good for tennis And I’m not talking about the Alcaraz injury !!! (not good for tennis either) No more college tennis at the University of Arkansas

@itslinklauren Totally agree. It’s because her actual melodies don’t have a rhythm that’s easy to follow. They cut and they just don’t make sense. They are hard to learn. My fil wrote music and did the same thing—that’s why I notice it.

I’m not a Taylor Swift hater, but when you hear these classic songs you question whether or not her discography will stand the test of time. She’s very commercially successful and has broken records. But I don’t think her music will have the same cultural impact as legends like ABBA, Michael Jackson and others who we still listen to 50 years later.