Tim

How fucking dare you

@atensnut It's a sailboat!

It appears to be a man with his two dogs but it’s not!! Once you see it …. you can’t unsee it.

The good old days

@UnXeptable_Cats @Rothmus Afterwards they're going to all be Achers

@Rothmus there is no way 1 Hector could mow that lawn. Thats like a Hector, and 3 Juans.

Oops, we're sorry about that vaccine mandate. Will you please come back now and die for Israel instead?

@j_fishback I'd count that as a win

I was denied entry to Mar-a-Lago tonight for a dinner I was invited to last month. I was told it was over my “criticism of Israel and the Iran war.” Next stop: Taco Bell.

R.I.P Chuck Norris. Chuck Norris once kicked a horse in the chin. Its descendants are known today as Giraffes.

Pentagon asks for $200B more for Iran strikes. Lawmakers on both sides are already pushing back, warning about cost and strategy.

@SunsUniTracker Is your emoji vomiting?

The D-backs will have a "Healthy People Like Baseball, Too" parfait at games this year 🤤 It's cottage cheese with carrot sticks, celery, salted almonds and crunchy pretzels.

@atensnut You'd have to be a regular Sherlock Holmes to figure that one out

Uhh… It’s the Dude in blue dress, Jamie Lee.

THE REALITY: MAGA (40%) is unshakable. They’ll support a nuclear war. They don’t care. But the other 11% that showed up in 2024 is why Trump isn’t sitting in a jail cell. They matter, too.

Robert Reich says he wants billionaires to go extinct! That’s economic idiocy. Billionaires get rich by CREATING wealth. They get paid a lot, but still only earn 2% of the value of their companies, economist @danieljmitchell notes. We should want MORE billionaires:

Charlie was right.

@MarioNawfal They've barely started this war and they already have their next one planned out.

Fmr Israeli PM Naftali Bennett: “A new Turkish threat is emerging… Turkey is the new Iran.” This was last month. Hits different today

@Cernovich Judging by the comments you need to start adding /s to your posts

@BrandonStraka I voted for the guy who said no new wars, not for the one who's been coopted by deep state neocons.

Reporter: What did you mean by that? You said the war was won in Iran. Trump: We knocked out their navy, their air force, anti-aircraft. We're roaming free. All they're doing is clogging up the strait. But from a military standpoint, they're finished.

@CollinRugg What a shocker she has a small infant and is already looking for another husband.

NEW: 'Bachelorette' star Taylor Frankie Paul says *she* is the victim after an alleged video was released showing her launching metal bar stools at her ex. Her statement says that "too many women" are "suffering in silence." "Taylor is very grateful for ABC’s support as she prioritizes her family’s safety and security," a spokesperson for Paul said to People. "After years of silently suffering extensive mental and physical abuse as well as threats of retaliation, Taylor is finally gaining the strength to face her accuser and taking steps to ensure that she and her children are protected from any further harm." It is worth noting that her child was apparently caught in the crossfire during her fight with her ex. "There are too many women who are suffering in silence as they survive aggressive, jealous ex-partners who refuse to let them move on with their lives." "Taylor has remained silent out of fear of further abuse, retaliation and public shaming. She is currently exploring all of her options, seeking support, and preparing to own and share her story." Wild.

@TheChiefNerd Hasn't he basically been saying this since the war started? I'll believe it when I see it.

🚨 President Trump says we are “very close” to winding down the Iran war

@ramzpaul I wonder if he's actually planning to launch a new offensive and he think this will throw people off.

Trump can declare victory and walk away. But what if Iran continues to bomb Israel and keeps the Strait of Hormuz closed until Trumps pulls out of the Middle Easy? It is easy to start a war. Harder to end a war.