Tom Hemsley

The problem they had doing peace treaties on cuneiform clay tablets is that you had to press down ridiculously hard to see your signature on all three copies. twitter.com/ticiaverveer/s…

There are Trump people here. I think they are with us for the reasons anyone else is, because we play it straight. I'd say to them first, everybody, that if the President, current, former, future, whatever, cuts off questions and dances alone for an hour, we all have a problem.

@amerrill2 Yeah but if you're looking for some peace and quiet while you finish your manifesto on industrial society and its future that's where you'll be finding it.

I want the house that doesn’t have the Necronomicon in it.

@joshuacassara @JasonCopland What if Roy Lichtenstein and Mark Rothko teamed up?

@JasonCopland You know it. Thanks!

My variant cover for the upcoming WEST COAST AVENGERS #1.

@michaelharriot Columbus Schmidt's Sausage Haus Bahama Mama, German Potato salad, peanut butter and chocolate cream puff.

Someone comes to your city for the 1st time. You have to recommend 1 meal that most represents your city. (Not necessarily THE BEST restaurant, but a place that defines your city’s taste & culture) 1. What city are you in? 2. Where do you send them? 2. What should they order?

@CivGame Is that why it stopped working? Its crashing every time I try to start it.

Hey, Civ fans! We released a patch today that will let Civ VI players on Xbox & PlayStation participate in our monthly challenges! We’re also bringing back some fan-favorite monthly events with fun remixes, starting next week. Stay tuned for more details!

@JasonKPargin You all got me watching this and it took until about this episode that I realized no one I know has ever seen Willy and Wile E Coyote in the same room at the same time. Are you sure he didn't have any imdb credits? Ones he shared with Chuck Jones?

If you haven't heard the news, there's a new episode of BIGFEETS, our exhaustive chronicle of an obscure cryptid-hunting reality show that went off the rails in spectacular fashion. Links in first reply or just search your favorite podcast app for BIGFEETS:

@Space_Sausages @edokeefe @SenBobCasey @tammybaldwin @EricHovde You need a blue check to replicate what being interesting does.

@edokeefe @SenBobCasey @tammybaldwin @EricHovde They're there for the free concert. She needs famous people to replicate a fraction of what Trump does.

Further evidence this isn’t Biden’s party anymore: In Philadelphia, @SenBobCasey took the stage with Harris and Walz. Here, @tammybaldwin gladly does so to attack her opponent, @EricHovde. Previously, Biden trips to states with Dem senators in cycle resulted in the candidate usually citing scheduling issues. Not today.

@johndrutecki Happy birthday, John

Happy Birthday to me...my present is this groundbreaking data release from MethaneAIR showing the need to #CutMethane.

@LucySussex @Richard_Kadrey He doesn’t realize there’s a difference between someone seeking asylum and being committed to an insane asylum. He doesn’t realize the word has more than one meaning.

@Richard_Kadrey How misunderstands?

Recently, I read the theory that Trump misunderstood the concept of "asylum seeker" and that that's where the whole Hannibal Lecter thing comes from. I haven't been able to stop thinking about it because it sounds exactly right.

@lankeymarlon @OCATCOfficial It highly depends on where you work.

@OCATCOfficial Before I click, is this safe for work?

Since the scandalous exit of the Amato Group, those at the HEI Network have decided that it is now time to heal.. Join Host Tim Heidecker and beloved past guest and Ex-Wife Toni Newman for an educational video on the benefits of couple's massage: heinetwork.tv/episode/tim-an…

What's the matter, chief? You've barely touched your banana kaboom.

@EddieAlfano My dream is to meet that person but have them be an exact physical doppelgänger of me except with the addition of a handlebar mustache.

Just heard a French person who sounded exactly like me doing a bad impression of how French people sound.

@EddieAlfano I'm sorry to have believed Joey P was a murderer and I'm definitely glad he's not dead in a ditch somewhere.

Anyone who wants to apologize for any accusations they made about Joey P can do so at this account.

At least one guy in this Delaware outlet mall parking lot is blasting Pink Floyd right now.

@BilliamBezos Yeah

Can anyone see my tweeter?

The obvious thing that public sector unions in red states need to do in response to stuff like this is open-ended strikes that shut down public services. This is life or death. The things that make those strikes hard to pull off are the areas the labor movement needs to work on.

@GregFromCos @ChristnNitemare @Peter_Wehner @TheAtlantic If anything starts at conception its evangelicals being wrong.

@ChristnNitemare @Peter_Wehner @TheAtlantic Slavery? Women's suffrage? Civil Rights? They've never been right, and refuse to ever ask why they are always on the wrong side of history on moral questions.

Where Did Evangelicals Go Wrong? theatlantic.com/ideas/archive/… via @Peter_Wehner @TheAtlantic

@Tony_Pesta Danny Ferry

Who is your LEAST favorite Cavalier of all time? We answer that and more in this mailbag episode of the Junkyard Pod!

@playazball Tim is also trending.

#dekkar trending but for all the wrong reasons! The is no Dekkar without ‘Decker! #corwinallardisarat