Howie Pollet

Everyone here is relentlessly young and thin.

@DevinCow Dude, you have no idea. The barnyard folk have risen to war between cow and horse, and it just got stupider after that. Just, don’t even.

I forgot how toxic it is here

@JaredSandler As a kid it was Rocky Bleier & the TV movie starring Robert Urich.

QOTD What's your favorite sports comeback story?

@LucifersTweetz Damn, when Satan’s wallet is feeling the squeeze, it’s time to duck out

I'm really tired of getting fucked over by billionaires. Who is with me?

@Riffraff3232 Junior, you want anything? Hush puppies, daddy! We got no time for that crap! Gimme a diablo sandwich and a Dr Pepper, and make it fast, I’m in a gotdamn hurry!

Mom can I have a… NO! Can I get a….. NO! Will you buy me a…. Get your ass back in the car

The singer from my old band road the same school bus as the bass player in Everclear. Just thought you should know that. #CounterfeitCash

@Riffraff3232 That sounds like the reason railroad detectives (who tossed hoboes from freight trains) were all mean as snakes the older they got. Management always looked to fire folks right before they qualified for a gold watch & pension.

1:45 AM… That was the last song… We were allowed to sell liquor until that song was over… If you got caught passing liquor after the song stopped, you were fired on the spot… those high paying bartending gigs were hard to come by… They could make up any BS rule they wanted, and we all followed them

@Riffraff3232 And those awful Urban Cowboy hats just got bigger n stupider.

Hey there partner… Don’t you know that all the girls get prettier at closing time

@IkkiKurro @greggorox Me since ‘77 (got Dock Ellis for my first autograph). Frankly I could live with a .500 club just to enjoy their pitching.

@greggorox Same Ole Rangers I've loved since '89

Glad I wasn't able to watch my stupid baseball team today. Lol

@greggorox Touching off-mic tribute.

Stay hard, keep jammin', and we'll see ya Ted Turner.

Who can raise their hand and say, straight in the eye, that they have never—not for a single second in their life—supported Donald Trump, neither through their words, nor their actions, nor their silence?

@LucifersTweetz @jimstewartson There’s a line?!

I’m currently at a hospital in Florida waiting to claim Rudy Giuliani’s soul.

@AlTheBoss03 Yu Darvish

Name a player whose departure (trade or free agency) broke your heart 💔

@FrankBr05713205 It needed zero batteries and zero girls.

This was my calculator in college. On the plus side, it didn't need any batteries. Anybody else ever use one?

@BarrySchust Boggs

In their prime: Wage Boggs or George Brett?

@NewbergReport My buddy was such a dick. He tended bar, & whenerever someone asked for directions, he’d say take Belt Line until it ends, and turn left.

Belt Line, a block east of the Tollway.

@cfmceroz1 Throw in some vodka and pharmaceutical grade coke, and you’ve got a party.

Hell I'll be shitten. I'll be fartin too

@JaredSandler Joe Buck and Tim McCarver Bob Uecker Kubek Garagiola

QOTD When you think of baseball on a national TV stage, whose voices do you think of calling the game?

@sciencegirl The Trump administration.

A group of pigs is called

@OleTimeHardball No

You hold the deciding vote in the Hall of Fame vote for Dale Murphy. Does he get in?

@sanandreafault Yes, you’ve been getting 0wned by Mount Saint Helens for quite awhile. @MountStHelensWA

Friendly reminder geology twitter was here 16 years before stupid animal twitter