LadyBaltimore67

@agreatdayinnc Was talked into a D&C by my gyn, who then botched it (incomplete). Tried methergine drug, but it didn't work, and had to have second D&C at the hospital (successful).

For those of you who’ve had a miscarriage, did you choose to pass at home or have a D&C? Pros & cons? If natural or with medication how was the passing? What about from an emotional standpoint?

@GAltringham The Marriage of Maria Braun (Die Ehe der Maria Braun) The Boat (Das Boot) Head-on (Gegen die Wand) Suck me Shakespeer (Fack ju Göhte) Wings of Desire (Der Himmel über Berlin) The Edge of Heaven (Auf der anderen Seite)

Name a great German movie that isn't Metropolis or M

@LiviaClauss Ist das ein internationaler Kongress, oder warum sollte man das Thema aufnehmen? Es ist doch in deutschsprachigen Ländern verboten, oder?

Ich bin wieder einmal auf einem Hebammenkongress, diesmal in Leipzig. Es gibt alle möglichen Themen, aber Leihmutterschaft wird konsequent umgangen.

@txgermanbre Sorry, but all cultures are not equal. Forcing or encouraging women to hide in a portable tent is just wrong.

I know it’s culturally insensitive but man it makes me sad when I see women in complete black with only their eyes seen. :(

@ouranometrian2 Did she make the baby all by herself?

Good lord I feel really bad for some people's sons. Imagine your mom hating you because of your born sex.

@SketchesbyBoze @achillghost 1. There is a modern version of the Luther Bible, just like there is a revised KJV. 2. Luther translated the Bible in 1522. German has changed quite a bit since then, and I would not use such antiquated texts to teach or learn a language.

@achillghost In high school I asked my German teacher if she had a copy of Luther’s translation of the Bible so I could teach myself German and she had to explain that it would be quite an archaic form of German.

I’ve been doing this with German and now I use a bunch of weird archaic words that no one has said out loud since the Thirty Years’ War

@jonathanbfine Teaching children and teenagers actually brought the evil out in me; that's why I decided against it as a profession.

16: Why are teachers lowkey sometimes evil?….Are you evil?

What is a "girlboss" anyway? It's a powerful career woman with a fake e-mail job which she snagged from a better-qualified man.

@jabberwock951 Then ask the patient what their symptoms are! And explain why your diagnosis is different, if that is the case. People want to be treated with respect.

I'm not gonna lie, it is frustrating when you ask a patient what's wrong and they just give you a diagnosis. Like "I have a chest infection". OK, you're probably right but I need to know your symptoms to see if I agree with that diagnosis. I can't just take your word for it.

@emilykmay Their grift and unique selling point is that they are female misogynists: They are women who assert that their own sex is inferior, too emotional and kind to effectively wield authority and makes institutions worse for being in them.

I will never find it fascinating that the people who write articles about the tragedy of girl bosses are most certainly not home with their children while their husband toils away at his 9-5. Inez Stepman has a LAW DEGREE. Who is caring for Allie Beth Stuckey's kids while she records and produces her podcasts, travels for speaking engagements, writes her books?

@emilykmay They are professional antifeminists, just like Phyllis Schaffley in the 1970s and 1980s. At least Schaffley was an older woman whose kids were presumably adults when she started her campaign.

@allie__voss @owenbroadcast In the 1970s, I and all the kids in my neighborhood were "free-range kids". In the 2010s, my family were shocked to hear that my own kids walked to their elementary school 20 minutes away (low-traffic suburb) by themselves. My relatives exclaimed, "What if someone kidnaps them!"

@owenbroadcast I have no idea what proportion are, but anecdotally many of the cases I've heard of have been divorced/divorcing parents weaponizing it against each other during custody proceedings.

1 out of 3 kids has a CPS investigation at some point, in the united states. but, check this out: only 1 in 8 experience confirmed maltreatment. so if 33% of kids come under CPS at some point, but only 12.5% have confirmed maltreatment, thats another way of saying that the other chunk, 20.5% come under CPS investigation without any maltreatment being found. so, by normal standard statistics, over 20% of kids in the US (one out of five) have a CPS investigation where no wrongdoing is actually found. so, did you know that you live (if youre american) in a country where one fifth of kids get a CPS investigation where no issue is ultimately found? that’s crazy. this means that one fifth of kids in the US have their family lives - what word do you want to use here? rustled? disturbed? it’s at least a scary thing obviously - let’s say “shaken” by a CPS investigation where nothing is ultimately found to have happened. now, let’s keep going: each of those kids has parents. let’s say those parents are embarrassed, or asocial - what’s the lowest number of people (specifically: friends that are parents) that they would mention this to? three? that seems like the lowest possible estimate. now, we’re losing track of the math, because these numbers will start to overlap - but it doesn’t really matter. so 20% of kids get one of these unsubstantiated investigations - that means you have a massive number of parents who are directly aware of someone who has their life disrupted in this way. and then, if even one of those friends tells one other parenting friend, you’re actually easily in a situation where most (“most” only means over 50%) active parents in america are zero to two degrees away from one of these investigations. but, people don’t really openly talk about them. no one is advertising that this happened to them for obvious reasons, and most people aren’t publicly sharing “this happened to my friend” stories. so, it’s almost a secret or concealed form of knowledge that couldn’t be designed better to spread covertly among active parents without being known about by the population at large. so, what’s the point? my point is: this is a huge unspoken factor in parents general wariness to let their kids do things that are generally considered unsafe or even potentially risky. if you take these percentages, if you have six parents sitting around, and someone starts saying: “i don’t see why you don’t just let your kid [go to the store alone, ride their bike alone, things like that]” - odds are one of the parents sitting there either already had a CPS investigation or knows someone that did - but they aren’t going to say this out loud. so everyone just says, “haha - yeah”, and moves on. what is called “helicopter parenting” presumably has some root in millennial neuroses that is unrelated to this. however, this is a big part of what it’s plugged in to that gives it a huge amount of its juice. one in three kids come into contact with CPS at some point. how much is this actually shaping our culture? if you randomly selected ten american kids, odds are that one or two of them will get an unsubstantiated CPS investigation at some point in their life? how can that be real? thoughts for the mind.

@iWomansplainer You should seek out good friends/relatives or other affected people to talk to about your loss but also be compassionate with people who are struggling.

Part of the reason grieving a child is so isolating is because we often don’t have social permission to talk about it. I’m in social settings with parents who want to connect via complaining about parenting difficulties, and I simply can’t relate, but I’m not allowed to say anything. If I state my actual position (“these struggles do not bother me at all”), I am “throwing my loss in their face” or “invalidating others’ struggles just because they’re less than mine.” I know that’s how it comes across. What am I supposed to do? I can’t join in on the mommy struggle sesh. So instead I just shut up, because I am not trying to be a dick. And it feels an awful lot like I have to just suck it up, suffering silently, to avoid coming across as rude and making other people uncomfortable. This makes me quiet, awkward, and recluse. The end result is extreme loneliness, even in a room full of moms.

@agreatdayinnc Why do you not want to send your kid to school?

I keep on going back and forth on homeschooling or sending my kiddo off for kindergarten. I know K is the easiest and we could give it a trial run, but I also know she would LOVE school. Idk what to do

@DoctorPerin @goslee_aaron It can also be a decision between them, their physician, their insurance company, their bank account, and their relatives who no longer want to care for them or who want to inherit their money.

@goslee_aaron Suicide is a decision between an individual and their God. Physicians and especially the state shouldn’t get a vote.

I’m not sure what’s worse, the overuse of physician-assisted suicide or the complete lack of it. When you have extreme pain that cannot be treated, it must be your right to end your life with dignity.

@giordkat Check out the song "At seventeen" by Janis Ian.

one day someone will write something honest about what it’s like to grow up as a conventionally unattractive girl/woman and and it will be the decisive killing blow to any semblance of mutually respectful gender relations in our culture

@CatholicPods @neerajadeshp God also made sex for pleasure and to reinforce a relationship. Otherwise, people would only want to do it during a woman's fertile period, like dogs and cats.

@LadyBaltimore67 @neerajadeshp There are acts that are considered to be degraded and contrary to nature, given the way God made sex for the purpose of reproduction

I don’t think Evie is perfect, but this misunderstands the magazine. A lot of women who were raised traditionally, or even those who take on traditional values later in life—religious, dress modestly, don’t have casual/premarital sex, etc.—have difficulty when it comes to relationships in large part because they come from communities where purity is disembodied, conflated with total sexlessness, where beauty is conflated with vanity. And that doesn’t end on the wedding night. I’ve known women who’ve struggled with dead bedrooms, sexual fear and shame, vaginismus, etc., as well as women who’ve wound up in terrible relationships because they think a man who doesn’t make explicit sexual gestures toward them is inherently virtuous, having come to define virtue in a relationship as lack of sexual desire. Unfortunately, the public faces who offer alternatives to this are those with an “anything goes” approach to sex—so in the minds of traditional women, they lack all credibility. What Evie is doing is providing a sex-positive alternative for young, traditionally minded, married women who maybe grew up hush-hush about sex and want to improve their marriages without turning to Call Your Daddy or, worse yet, pornography. It’s also promoting beauty more generally—and honestly I reject the idea that glam shots of beautiful women on magazine covers are inherently objectification, unless Renaissance art depicting the female form is objectification too. Evie, in fact, in opposition to actual objecitifcation culture, encourages women to wait till marriage, but instead of the Mean Girls “if you have sex you will get pregnant and die” schtick, Evie encourages a more healthy, aspirational idea—basically that a man who truly loves you will wait for you, that you shouldn’t give access to your body to just anyone. And I’d also add, a lot of women who want nothing more than to be wives and mothers reach their mid-20s and wonder what they’re doing wrong—and often, it’s that they’re so wary of objectification and sex appeal that they forget they have to attract a man (and vice versa) if they actually want to be married. The “What Perfumes Are Most Seductive to Men” advice columns are a remedy to that, and frankly far more helpful and actionable than “you’re perfect just the way you are” and living in such constant terror of objectification that you reject your own beauty. I will say, the women’s magazines in the good old days used to publish great writers—Vogue, for instance, published Joan Didion—and I do often wish Evie would mix up its current editorial calendar with that type of writing. I also think there’s often a dark side to trad and intra-trad dynamics that traditional women need to be cautious about. At the same time, there are lots of thinkpieces and forums for highly intellectual women online; there hasn’t been, until Evie, a space for women who don’t sit around thinking about academics all the time but still want media thay speaks to their traditional values. There are different audiences for different media, and, I think, for the sheer amount of criticism Evie gets from so many constituencies, few stop to consider that they may not be Evie’s target audience.

@CatholicPods @neerajadeshp I didn't know that Christianity prohibited any sexual acts between a married couple.

But some of their articles promote particular sexual acts (I don't want to go into detail) that are vile, far from traditional, and rejected by Christianity. So they are actually promoting immoral acts which subvert their Christian audience even if they claim to have Catholics on staff, etc

@Aria_Babu I don't believe that Kennedy's affairs were common knowledge then. Also, none of his affair partners went public during his lifetime. None of them ever complained either.

Despite culture becoming more sexually permissive generally from the 1960s to the 1990s, Kennedy's womanizing (with an intern no less) did nothing to stem his popularity but Clinton was ruined for his infidelity. What changed? My top theories are - (Longhouse) Women gained more social power and so infidelity, even for elite men, became less acceptable - (Gossip) Talking about sex (in general and in tabloids) became more normal and so scandals became more discussed - (Crab bucket) We expect politicians to adhere to middle class morality, not aristocratic morality where philandering has always been the norm.

@GarrettPetersen I don't think so. Why should adult children inherit anything if they don't have a relationship with their parents? The parents also indirectly benefited their children by giving money to the grandkids.

In some countries (e.g. Germany) you're not really allowed to disinherit your children. You have to prove you have a very good reason (e.g. abuse). I can kind of see why. This is a dick move on the old lady's part.