💩 s̾i̾r̾ l̾u̾r̾p̾e̾e̾ 💩

@TwinzerDad @Beagz @HomeWithPeanut @dad_on_my_feet Thank you, brother. I’m glad I could help in any way.

just wanted to take a moment and acknowledge these amazing fellas who shaped what has become a yearly quest for giving @Beagz, @HomeWithPeanut , @dad_on_my_feet , @Lurpee and Shaun (who runs his own #LittleWheelsBigHearts offline campaign in Tennessee) These guys are legends

#LittleWheelsBigHearts started with the idea that I could use social media to do something good by collecting 200 Hot Wheels cars. But it took a group of special dads to take it from 200 cars to more than 5k our first year. 👇

“I mean… inches are a subjective measurement, right??” -Lurpee @sirlurpee/post/CwqdFmgPA7b/?igshid=MzRlODBiNWFlZA==" target="_blank" rel="nofollow noopener">threads.net/@sirlurpee/pos…

@TwistedLadyNJ @RandySevy What moral might that be… especially one that negates blatant plagiarism? FYI… old people and young people not understanding each other isn’t a moral

@Lurpee @RandySevy I know I read it before but still thought the moral of the story was important.

So I am at Walmart scanning and bagging my almost $300 worth of groceries while the employee "monitors" and then this happened. Her - why are you double bagging all of your groceries? Me - excuse me? Her - you are wasting our bags! Me - if you don't like the way I'm bagging the groceries, feel free to come on over here and bag them yourself. Her - that's not my job! Me - okay, then I will bag my groceries how I please if that's all right with you. Her - why are you using two bags?! Me - because the bags are weak and I don't want the handles to break or the bottoms to rip out. Her - well that's because you are putting too much stuff in the bag. If you took half of that stuff out and put it in a different bag then you wouldn't need to double bag. *10 seconds of me just staring at her. Me - so you want me to split these items in half and put half of them in a different bag so that I don't have to double bag. Her - exactly. Me - so I would still be using two bags to hold the same number of items. Her - no because you wouldn't be double bagging. *me pressing two fingers to my left eye in an attempt to make it stop twitching. Me - okay so here I have a jug of milk and a bottle of juice double bagged. If I take the milk out and remove the double bagging and just put the milk in the single bag and the juice in that single bag I'm still using two bags for these two items. Her- no because you are not double bagging them so it's not the same number of bags. *me looking around at about 10 other customers who at this point are enjoying the show. Me- is this like that Common Core math stuff I keep hearing about? Her- never mind you just don't get it. And with that, she went back to her little Podium so she could continue texting or playing games on her phone or whatever it was she was doing before she decided to come over and critique my bagging skills

I don’t know who needs to hear this, but it’s never “just the tip” or “just a massage”

Just bought my first 3D printer so… my Etsy shop (ThanosPenises) is about to blow up! #3Dprinting #PrimeDay #MCU

I’m at an age where I have to remind myself that I’m talking to myself too loudly.

Holidays in our house: - Halloween - Not Halloween (not recognized)

90% of any shopping trip is trying to find my wife threads.net/t/CuckcW2uioP/…

Me: “I’m an adult! I can eat what I want!!” My digestive system:

Sometimes, before a big meeting, I like to go on TikTok and listen to flat-Earthers … really gets the blood boiling.

To my fellow Veterans… I don’t care if you swept the decks of an aircraft carrier or kicked down doors in Afghanistan, I am proud to call you my brothers and sisters. The only vets I have a problem with are the ones supporting Trump and the MAGA agenda. You can’t defend America from domestic terrorism when you’re one of the terrorists. Happy 4th of July. 🇺🇸🫶🏼 #4thofJuly #IndependenceDay

@RonW_FJB @OccupyDemocrats The tiniest bit of research would have kept you from looking dumb: reuters.com/article/factch…

@OccupyDemocrats From bartender to millionaire? It pays well being a politician. Yet she claims she still has college debt. caclubindia.com/wealth/alexand…

BREAKING: Democratic Congresswoman Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez drops bombshell, demands that Chief Supreme Court Justice John Roberts be subpoenaed — and that Congress take a long, hard look at impeaching Justice Clarence Thomas. In a brutal rant today on national television, Ocasio-Cortez told CNN, “I believe that if Chief Justice Roberts will not come before Congress for investigations voluntarily, we should be considering subpoenas. We should be considering investigations. We must pass much more binding and stringent ethics guidelines. Where we see members of the Supreme Court potentially breaking the law, as we saw with the refusal of Clarence Thomas to recuse himself from cases implicating his wife in January 6th, impeachment MUST on the table.” Well said, @AOC! If Chief Justice Roberts can’t get the Supreme Court’s rampant corruption under control, Congress MUST take swift action — even if that means impeaching Justice Clarence Thomas and subpoenaing Chief Justice Roberts. Please retweet and ❤️ if you think that Justice Clarence Thomas MUST be impeached — and consider investing in Tribel, a “woke” new Twitter competitor that is currently doing a round of equity crowdfunding and just blew past $2.3 million raised from 5,900 of its users. If you want to own a small piece of what is quickly becoming the “next big thing” in social media, here is the link to do so, wefunder.com/Tribel. You can invest as little as $100 — or as much as you’d like. Here’s the link to download the new Tribel app that Elon Musk is so afraid of: tribel.app.link/okwPIHYCIqb

@RonW_FJB @mrbcpa99 @OccupyDemocrats That’s easy. It’s a bullshit page that’s filled with debunked myths: reuters.com/article/factch…

@mrbcpa99 @OccupyDemocrats Explain this? caclubindia.com/wealth/alexand…

The news is always like: "America has banned wheelchair ramps because they weren't in the Bible. Finland has made ice cream free."

@RonFilipkowski #ActualGrooming

Poor kid.

I do love me a smart-joke 🤣

@TrickyDeez “I’m just gonna take these and go. Strange party, bud!”

@laurenboebert HAVE 👏 YOU 👏 DONE 👏 ANY 👏 WORK 👏?!

Why is the White House allegedly omitting Hunter Biden from the visitor logs? And if they're omitting him, who else are they omitting?