Bob

DOCTOR: I have good news and I have bad news. PATIENT: I’ll take the good news first. DOCTOR: You’ll still make that Metallica concert in September. PATIENT: But that’s in October. DOCTOR: I…uh…okay. Well…is there anyone playing in September that you like?

BREAKING: Huntington's Disease, which is normally fatal within two decades, has been treated for the first time, according to researchers at the University College London and BBC report.

@brandonhackett Yes, I think that checks the boxes for me. Also, I don’t know that pride was really expressed with me in childhood or that I was exposed to it. So a lot of that! It’s up to us to make all the difference. That’s a good start.

@brandonhackett That’s such a great idea! I sense a hesitance in feeling that pride? I feel hesitant to feel proud of myself too. I would like to freely feel that pride.

@HamiltonPolice Your caps lock is on.

THREE YOUTHS ARRESTED AFTER HIGH-END SUNGLASSES THEFT hamiltonpolice.on.ca/news/three-you…

@standupmonkey There seems to be correlation between blue check marks and misogyny. Go figure.

The replies to this post prove yet again how misogyny and cruelty is rampant among boys and young men. You can say it’s always been this way but I’d argue there’s plenty of evidence to prove it’s getting worse.

@TheDweck Hahaha

Never been more excited for a collab

We are utterly unprepared for the horrors this year will bring.

The past few days have been hell in LA. Sleeping in shifts to see if you have to evacuate. Watching friends lose everything. People unable to find pets. Wildlife wiped out. Then you see misinformation, shitty takes from ppl thousands of miles away. I wouldn’t wish this on anyone.

@ScottThompson_ Much love Scott! Also, double-check that birdcage. Sounds like it might be a trap.

My father received a call from God this holiday season and had to go but he wants you all to know that he had a gas making all those funny pics. The only thing he left was a birdcage he made which is hilarious b/c he hated birds. Goodbye Dad. Thanks for always being there.

@acoyne No wait come back oh no

I am endeavouring to adjust.

Hey! Usher and I wear the same shirt! #Halftime

That piano looks like a space age toilet. #Halftime

Usher doesn’t even look pregnant. #HalftimeShow

If you’re going to have Usher do the half-time show, then you can certainly have Weird Al Yankovic do it next year. Come on!

Taylor Swift not cheering hard enough. :(

@JoyceCarolOates Your words also make us scream!

not sure what to think of this AI-generated poem in my honor sent by A Friend. "Oh, how her words make us feel, So raw, so real, so surreal, She brings us joy and makes us weep, And in her stories, we find our keep."

I kind of believe Jason Aldean when he said that he didn’t know about the courthouse and its notoriety. You think any MAGA follower does ANY kind of research?

Move over @alyankovic! Jason Aldean might have the funniest song to date.

@rosebeefe Haha well never mind! I’ve been meaning to do this with The Shield.

@rosebeefe It is not too 90s. You’ll be good to go!