Paul Read

Been meaning to post for a while that I’m really happy to have placed 2nd in this year’s UK TVGold #GoldCrackers competition for my Oasis joke. Yes, I’ve had to explain to my elder family members it’s a song lyric all festive season. corporate.uktv.co.uk/newsroom/uandg…

@BernadetteEmmie @UniversalExile @crispinfisher @SteveJuggler @LilMissMystic @laughingtwits @SmithJamesChris @carlsen_stanton @Jo6252 @yorkshirepud27 @escapeveloxity @delshout1 @MrLiamArnold @dazzmiller @brucedes Merry Christmas!

To @UniversalExile @crispinfisher @SteveJuggler @LilMissMystic @PaulReadWrites @laughingtwits @SmithJamesChris @carlsen_stanton @Jo6252 @yorkshirepud27 @escapeveloxity @delshout1 @MrLiamArnold @dazzmiller & of course @brucedes Merry #GoldCrackers Christmas! See you in 2026 🎄

Can we set up one of those government petitions making it illegal for places to sell Christmas dinner but only give you one pig in blanket.

@carlsen_stanton @goldchannel Ooh, thanks - I’m saving that! 😂

@PaulReadWrites @goldchannel Well done! They loved it here 😀dailyrecord.co.uk/lifestyle/baby…

Really happy my Christmas joke came 4th in the @goldchannel #GoldCrackers competition

@SteveJuggler @goldchannel @escapeveloxity @alexbuchanan Thanks Stevie!

@goldchannel @escapeveloxity @alexbuchanan @PaulReadWrites Excellent Paul. This is the one in the top 10 that I wish I had written :-)

Christmas is around the corner, which means it’s time to reveal our Top 10 #GoldCrackers jokes (1/10, a thread), starting with this hilarious winning joke from @carlsen_stanton - huge congrats!

@goldchannel @carlsen_stanton Congrats everyone!

@VickyERichards Congrats Vicky!

Chuffed to be a runner up in this competition! Congrats to all the winners, other runners up, and honorable mentions 👏 🥳

Perfect for the spooOooOoky season - loved having a sketch involved in @tew1984 and @beakachu's extremely funny show SHARED DRIVE 😈 Sketch shows are back, bby! Full show: 🎧open.spotify.com/episode/5IvLik… 🗣️ Voices: @A_GarrickWright and @RobGilroy ✨ youtube.com/watch?v=_iIW8n…

How are ITV making their new nativity show? Artificial Inn-telligence. #GoldCrackers

What Christmas movie are ITV showing this year? A.I. Hard. #GoldCrackers

1/ WGGB strongly opposes @ITV s recent decision to appoint a Head of Generative AI Innovation, whose role will include using technology to help create ‘shows, films and digital-first content’

What’s the English F.A.’s favourite Christmas song? All I want for Christmas is Tuchel. #GoldCrackers

What type of bird does Michael Keaton have for Christmas dinner? Beetlegoose. #GoldCrackers

@gjp1969 Brilliant achievement!

I think I reached a bit of a milestone today Not saying I'm an OCD comedy writer that keeps notes or anything, but I think one of my jokes on today's #BreakingTheNews was the 200th gag I've had on the radio versions of the show

@goldchannel #GoldCrackers x.com/paulreadwrites…

Our Gold Crackers competition is BACK for another year! That’s right, we want you to tweet us your festive funnies for a chance to WIN. In order to make your entry count, you must follow us and use #GoldCrackers. Good luck! 18+ UK only. T&C's apply: corporate.uktv.co.uk/legal/gold-chr…

@goldchannel #GoldCrackers x.com/paulreadwrites…

@goldchannel #Goldcrackers x.com/paulreadwrites…

@goldchannel #GoldCrackers x.com/paulreadwrites…

@goldchannel #GoldCrackers x.com/paulreadwrites…